We don't need God to fit in our pockets and do things our way because when we belong to God and seek His ways daily, we can trust that He ordains every step we take.
God's ways rarely align with our expectations, and this reality is the source of the human struggle.
"My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts," says the LORD. "And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:8-9
Paul said, "For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain" (Philippians 1:21, NASB). As a seasoned Christian, I understand what this means. The phrase is simple and short, but the application is heavy. Living in Christ is truth, life, and freedom. The problem is we don't live in God's heavenly Kingdom yet. We are stuck here on Earth until God says so. As a lifelong recovering perfectionist (yes, you should find humor in that phrase), the struggle to live in Christ in a dying world gets increasingly challenging.
To Live Is to Suffer
I spend countless hours of my day practicing gratitude so that I can keep my perspective in alignment with God my Father. God's blessings abound, but to live is to suffer. There's always something that needs to be corrected. Sometimes it's physical, sometimes it's mental, sometimes it's both. The world is crumbling beneath us because we refuse to stand on the firm foundation, Jesus our Lord. Many reject Jesus, as they have for centuries, but even someone like me who desperately wants to live in the ways of the Lord struggles to be in alignment with God's perfect ways 100% of the time.
I strive to live in the goodness of God and share the goodness of God daily, but I'm always aware of how far I fall below the mark. For years, I've been told, "It sounds like you're trying to be righteous in your own strength and not His." I haven't heard that in a while but feel it in these humbling moments. I'm not trying to try in my human strength because I know I can do nothing apart from Him. I breathe because God puts breath in my lungs, but my human striving still happens. I deflate when I read the Bible and see God's commands for us. How far I am from your ways, oh Lord. In those moments, the Holy Spirit gently reminds me of how He has guided me into those commands and continues to mold me as the potter molds the clay.
God's way rarely makes logical sense to us—not because He's illogical but because He's so much bigger and better than we could comprehend with our human minds. Yes, we were created in His image, but we're not created with the capacity to think like Him. We have the mind of Christ to understand the truths from God's Spirit (1 Corinthians 2:13-16), but those truths are picked by God and shared with us for our good. We can't ever know the fullness of God while on this Earth because we're not meant to.
Why do people we love suffer when we've prayed for God's healing? Why does loving others ensure that we'll experience heartbreak? Why can't living like Jesus be simple once we surrender our lives to Him? Why can't Christianity be attractive to unbelievers? Why did God choose to send His Son to die in the most horrific way to prove that He loves us? These questions keep my human struggle active, and I know deep in my soul that these questions must surrender to faith. God doesn't have to explain His ways to me. While I'm not too fond of that, I know it's true.
Protection Can Be Different Than Expected
There have been many times when God has extended some extra grace that helps me understand my present situation, but again, this is if God wants me to understand. God never promised that He would help us understand. God promises His Sovereignty, goodness, and faithfulness. We can trust Him completely. He promises to provide and protect us from the enemy. Sometimes, it doesn't feel like we are being protected from the enemy because, again, we think His protection should look different than it does. We think His protection means we never experience loss, anger, or pain, but that's not true. His protection is over our souls. Satan will never get our souls when we are in Christ.
Something struck me as I was finishing John 21, the book's last chapter. Christ's disciples were expecting the Messiah's return to be much different. Many of the Jewish faith expected the Messiah to conquer Rome. Interestingly, they believed their Messiah to be a warrior when the prophesies prepared them for the Messiah that came, died, and rose again. It makes you wonder, what are we missing in our faith? What are we not understanding in God's Word?
After Jesus died and returned, most of the disciples returned to what they knew. For instance, Simon Peter returned to fishing. No doubt, he felt lost, stunned, and perhaps disappointed. The Messiah had come. He had witnessed many miraculous healings and events, and now what? What came next? If he knew, I don't think he'd be fishing.
I love these human details we are given at the end of John's Gospel. The mundane details connect us. I am comforted with the reality that I won't always know the next step, even though I follow Jesus. God reveals His plans in His time, not ours.
We are an anxious generation, one that measures value in productivity. We believe we need followers on social media to matter, but it's all a lie. We believe we need a fancy house, a stable job, and two cars in the garage. We are pressured to have our kids be in all sorts of activities. But many, if not all, of these things are lies. These lies have been delivered to us so efficiently that breaking away from them feels impossible. The life Christ modeled looks nothing like the life we live, and this devastates me.
Let the Journey Refine You
The older I get, the steeper this hill feels. I expect that the longer I walk with Jesus, the easier my walk will get, but again, my expectation is wrong, and when I refer to the Bible, it confirms that I got it wrong once again. Try to think of a story in the Old or New Testament where walking with God got easier or smoother. Start in Genesis (with Adam), and go through Revelation. I'm confident you won't find that. The reason for the struggle is to keep us close. Trust me, you will grow and improve, but you'll always have more work to do, which is why it never gets any easier.
I share these thoughts with you because they may not be what you want to hear, but they are comforting. We don't have to feel the pressure of becoming perfect. None of us have ever been or will ever be perfect in this finite life. So why do we keep going? I'll admit I've wanted to give up more times than I can count, even though that sounds awful. But God doesn't let me give up. He reminds me that my expectations are not His. The Holy Spirit will be with me until the end and beyond. It says so in His Word:
"I will never fail you. I will never abandon you." Hebrews 13:5 (NLT)
So, let me encourage you to keep walking with God no matter your expectations because I can promise that you will know God more intimately on your journey, and He will reveal more of yourself to you.
We don't need God to fit in our pockets and do things our way because when we belong to God and seek His ways daily, we can trust that He ordains every step we take. Trust like that is not formed overnight but over years of wrestling with the flesh and letting the Holy Spirit transform us. His work will only be complete in us when we meet Him in glory.
Photo Credit: ©Unsplash/Sarah Brown
Vanessa Luu is a wife, mother, and faith-based writer. She speaks and writes to believers to encourage them to live authentically with God.
