God doesn't call us to leave us.
"Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. For by it the people of old received their commendation. By faith we understand that the universe was created by the word of God, so that what is seen was not made out of things that are visible" (Hebrews 11:1-3, ESV).
When I was little, my mom used to tell me that someday I'd meet my Prince Charming, but I'd have to be patient and wait on the Lord. While it was painful patience at times, her words were true. I believed that God had someone in store, but it was challenging to do that in faith and not sight.
Ben and I met most unconventionally. I needed someone to go on a mission trip with me and he agreed. I didn't know it then, but God was just beginning our story.
By the time we started dating and got serious, I could see part of the picture, but I often lost hope. We dated for five years and had many highs and lows. In July 2024, I married him. It'd taken time, but I saw God's faithfulness in what I'd waited for. It exceeded my expectations.
Most times in life, we have to trust what we can see and beyond. I believe Jesus' words in Mark 8:1-21 explain this best.
When Jesus Calls Us Beyond Sight
In Mark 8, the disciples had seven loaves and a few fish. Jesus was used to crowds following Him, but it had been days and the people were hungry. Concerned that they might collapse if He sent them home, Jesus decided to feed the people. The disciples were doubtful and confused. All they had were a few fish and seven loaves of bread. How in the world could Jesus use that to feed the people? Especially a group of over 4,000+ women and children. Might we say they were nervous when Jesus asked them how many loaves they had (vs.5), told the people to sit down, blessed the bread, broke it, blessed the fish, and then gave it and the loaves to the disciples to distribute to the people (vs.6-7)? If you wouldn't have been anxious, I know I would've. That's just my humanity.
"During those days another large crowd gathered. Since they had nothing to eat, Jesus called his disciples to him and said, 'I have compassion for these people; they have already been with me three days and have nothing to eat. If I send them home hungry, they will collapse on the way, because some of them have come a long distance.' His disciples answered, 'But where in this remote place can anyone get enough bread to feed them?' 'How many loaves do you have?' Jesus asked. 'Seven,' they replied" (Mark 8:1-5, NIV).
Notice the hesitation in their voices? Now look at the outcome despite their questioning:
"The people ate and were satisfied. Afterward the disciples picked up seven basketfuls of broken pieces that were left over. About four thousand were present. After he had sent them away, he got into the boat with his disciples and went to the region of Dalmanutha" (Mark 8:8-10, NIV, emphasis added).
You would think they would've remembered the similar miracle Jesus did just a few chapters earlier in Matthew 14:13-21. Here, Jesus had five loaves but fed 5,000 people (plus women and children). At a glance, many believe that these miracles are the same. Maybe Mark was confused and messed up the numbers. But that wouldn't be accurate. These are two separate events.
Matthew 14 records Jesus feeding 5,000+ women and children a bit differently. After John the Baptist was beheaded, Jesus withdrew to a private place by boat. When crowds found out where He was, however, they soon followed. Having compassion for the people, He landed the boat, healing the sick brought to Him (vs.13-14). As it was getting dark, Jesus' disciples began to grow ancy. They told Jesus He should send the people away so they could go into the villages and buy food (vs.15-16). Jesus' response is mind-boggling: "You give them something to eat". “We have here only five loaves of bread and two fish,” they answered (vs.17).
In a similar turn of events, the Disciples give Jesus the five loaves of bread of two fish. He gave thanks, blessed them, and had the Disciples distribute them. "They all ate and were satisfied, and the disciples picked up twelve basketfuls of broken pieces that were left over. The number of those who ate was about five thousand men, besides women and children" (Matthew 14:20-21, NIV, emphasis added).
Notice that Matthew 14 records Jesus feeding 5,000+ with five loaves. Mark 8 records Jesus feeding 4,000 with seven loaves. With all the evidence, why would His disciples doubt? Because they were human. Just like us, they may've witnessed God's miracles but soon forgotten them when the troubles of this life came to the forefront of their minds.
"When Jesus heard what had happened, he withdrew by boat privately to a solitary place. Hearing of this, the crowds followed him on foot from the towns. When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, he had compassion on them and healed their sick. As evening approached, the disciples came to him and said, 'This is a remote place, and it’s already getting late. Send the crowds away, so they can go to the villages and buy themselves some food.' Jesus replied, 'They do not need to go away. You give them something to eat.' 'We have here only five loaves of bread and two fish,' they answered. 'Bring them here to me,' he said" (Matthew 14:13-18, NIV).
The Faithfulness of Five and Seven Loaves
Let's recap. When the disciples had five loaves of bread, Jesus fed 5,000+ people and had twelve basketfuls left over. When the disciples had seven loaves of bread, Jesus fed 4,000+ people and had seven basketfuls left over. On the surface, these chapters are about bread and God's ability to provide. But in my quiet time with the Lord this past week, I felt Him speak something new and unique.
Just as the disciples were called to trust beyond what they could see so are we. We aren't left empty-handed. No, we can see part of the picture:
-The five loaves.
-The seven loaves.
-Some opportunities.
-A new calling.
-A new job.
-An exciting future.
-An unknown destination.
But what we can't see scares us:
-Five loaves for 5,000+ people? Crazy.
-Seven loaves for 4,000+ people? Impossible.
-Opportunities and an unknown future? Frightening.
And that's okay.
Jesus reminds us that many times in life we have one foot in the boat and one foot out, floating mid-air above the waves. We know He's good and faithful. We've seen Him do miracles. We sense His calling. Yet when we can't see beyond the five loaves, seven loaves, or the entire picture, we freak.
I think Jesus ends these stories with twelve and seven basketfuls left over to remind us of this: Trusting Him is scary. He provides just enough detail for us to step out and trust Him. The part we can't see is petrifying. But Jesus sees our faith. Our leap. Our step, hanging over the great unknown. And He blesses us (1 Corinthians 3:6-9 ) seven and twelve times in abundance (Malachi 3:10). Far greater than we could ever ask, think, or imagine (Ephesians 3:20).
A Step of Obedient Faith
This isn't blind faith. It's also not calculated in a way we can see the answers on our first step. But this faith will be and is blessed. This faith is obedience.
This faith says, "Here's part of the puzzle, but hang on; we're just getting started. Your future is bright. I have more in store beyond what you can see. You won't understand now, but someday you will" (Philippians 1:6).
Maybe like me, Jesus is calling you away from something you've always done and to something you've always dreamed of. He's opening doors, but you're scared. Maybe you're still even asking for signs (Matthew 15:16-20; Matthew 16). But friend, if He's got seven and twelve basketfuls of bread, surely He's got you in the palm of His hand (Isaiah 49:16). In the pieces of His heart.
I've been wrestling lately with fear. The unknown. That maybe getting out of teaching, or into a new career, won't fix me. Maybe I'm the problem.
The truth is this: Stepping into a new career won't fix everything, but it's a fresh start to a new beginning. A place I've felt the Lord call me to since I was fourteen. Everyone said I'd never make it. Writing is a starving art. Why did I allow their voices to become louder than His?
I have no idea how my future will pan out, let alone tomorrow or my author career. But I know this: God doesn't call us to leave us. Every place I follow He's prepared a place for me there. I'm simply called upon to listen and obey. The same is true for you. He's given you five and seen loaves. It's time to trust Him and feed the people.
Agape, Amber
Photo Credit: ©iStock/Getty Images Plus/Khaosai Wongnatthakan
