I’m worn out just writing this message of encouragement to you—but I’m also excited. I’m choosing to believe that most of us out there behind our phones value community, honor Christ's convictions, but respect each other when we’re different.
Complete transparency: after Team COVIDIs Real versus Team COVID Isn’t Real, Team Biden versus Team Trump, Team Vaccine versus Team Anti-vaccine, I’m tired of playing. Bench me, coach! I’m game for some serious R&R from the emotional toll social media has waged for nearly two years. Granted, a pandemic holed us up, separated us from each other’s faces, each other’s voices, and as a result, we are much more willing to sack the quarterback over Twitter than we would be face to face. Meanwhile, something God-ordained happens when humans make eye contact, share their stories, use soft tones and warm hugs to ease the tension differences tempt, but social media has turned our sense of community cold, harsh, abrasive, one-sided.
I’m afraid the idea of justice is blurred by hostility on both sides, and rather than inviting someone over for a cup of coffee to discuss the differences, we suit up with shoulder pads and a helmet to knock the socks off of anyone on Instagram who voted differently than us. Dare I say, I’ve found myself questioning over and over lately, “What has happened with humanity? How did we reach this point?” I open Facebook to share a photo of my gremlin dogs but forget why I logged on as I’m sucked into a sea of spiritual death threats if I did (or didn’t) take the vaccine.
I’m tired. Social media weighs way too heavy these days. People have forgotten the beauty of inviting each other into different spaces, welcoming conversations that might collide but guarantee a respectful end. If you have the same questions and feel the same emotional burden as me, I totally get it. (And I don't care who you voted for or what your definition of COVID is—you're all welcome to trudge through this season with me as we all figure out how to get to the other side with our humanity intact.) If you’re up for navigating the murky spaces social media has created, check out these three ways to remain sane as today’s digital world weighs too heavy:
1. Maximize the newer “unfollow” setting.
More transparency: I unfollowed two people on Facebook yesterday—but I didn’t unfriend them. Facebook has this newer setting where you can choose to remain friends with someone without seeing their content. I have several friends from high school, college, even my church setting, whom I love with every ounce of my being, but they often come in too hot on social media, making blanketing statements without any purpose outside stoking the fire.
As a recovering perfectionist who struggles with OCD, I take on the emotions of the space I’m scrolling through—and it’s not good for my head or heart to absorb content that exists solely to wage digital wars. Rather than unfriending people who are true, dear friends in a real-life setting, I simply opt-out of their heated posts. Best part? Folks can’t tell when you’ve unfollowed them, limiting space for even more arguments.
2. Offer conversation face to face/one on one.
On the bright side, social media does house users who voice their opinions but aren’t afraid to have healthy conversations with those on the opposing side. Back in 2016, right before the presidential election, I had a girlfriend from college privately message me on Facebook and ask, “I just don’t understand how you could vote for _______. Could you explain it to me?”
She didn’t want to start a fight. She wanted to understand. Once I explained my reasons, the conversation ended in “I don’t agree with you, but I get where you’re coming from.” She and I are different skin colors, different sexual orientations, different religions—but to this day, we are friends. Neither of us has been swayed to the other’s side, but we respect each other as God-made human beings and recognize that our differences aren’t worth hatred. We can still create conversations, sustain relationships, and keep our convictions noble like that today. Simply invite someone over for dinner, send someone a private message, set the stage for the type of talks that whisper, “I’m sticking with the Holy Spirit’s conviction inside of me, and because of that, your humanity will always be what my heart respects.”
3. Know when to take a break.
This past September, I couldn’t take it anymore. Both sides were rearing ugly heads that made me want to yell, “Will everyone leave me alone if I just say I’m a Libertarian?”. Instagram was bad, but Facebook was brutal. Sweeping generalizations, red herrings, slippery slope arguments—all false debate tactics you can deflate with simple logic. But no one wants logic when their sole purpose is to satisfy their own ego, to prove to themselves that they’re right because they’re always right.
Rather than engaging with any of these posts, I simply made a post of my own, saying that I was stepping away from social media for a while to clear my head. Now, as an author, I’m constantly expected to advertise my book, keep my target audience updated online, but my mental health was worth the stats sliding a smidge.
After a few weeks away from all the apps, I came back with a fresh perspective; I was more willing to extend grace to extinguish the fires from both sides. Doesn’t mean scrolling through social media has become all rose petals and glitter, but taking a small break allowed me to focus on real, face-to-face human interactions, so when I returned to the digital space, I could put a face, a soul, with a dramatic, potentially ignorant post and offer that person respect that once wasn’t available inside of me.
I’m worn out just writing this message of encouragement to you—but I’m also excited. I’m choosing to believe that most of us out there behind our phones value community, honor Christ's convictions, but respect each other when we’re different. As a professional Christian school kid, I’ll offer a final, “shocking”, piece of advice—recall what Jesus would do. Remember that He never sidestepped or sugarcoated truth, but read back through the Gospels and notice how He approached people who weren’t on the straight and narrow. He sought them out. He sat by them at a well. He talked with them through a tax collector’s booth. He embodied grace and love in such a way that truth became this undeniable, inviting atmosphere.
That’s what we’re called to create. And in 2021, social media is the avenue for such a true, hopeful digital community. We’ve got this!
Photo credit: ©Dole/Unsplash
