It’s impossible for me to produce fruit apart from Jesus Christ, the Vine. If something I do, say, or write helps, encourages, or brings someone to Him, it’s only because He chose to bless it by the power of the Holy Spirit.
I sometimes crave affirmation from others, consuming recognition like necessary food. If I feel ignored, I begin to question if what I do is valid. I recently became obsessed with whether or not an article I wrote had been posted. I realized I needed it to appear for me to feel validated. If each new piece isn’t acknowledged, I doubt my worth. Yesterday’s achievements have flown away. It seems that my flesh has an insatiable thirst for approval.
As long as I’m looking to people to give me worth, it’s like trying to drink from a broken cistern (Jeremiah 2:13 NIV). The well of human approval won’t hold water. Praise runs through my heart like a sieve, leaving me feeling unsatisfied.
Only our Heavenly Father can fill the void in our hearts. Jesus Christ, the Living Water, has given me His Spirit, Who has the power to meet my deepest needs. But how do I draw that water? How do I let go of looking to the approval of others to fill this gaping hole? It seems like I could have human affirmation given to me every day, and still, the next day, I would feel hungry for it.
We will never be completely free from this inner search until we reach heaven; however, we can find freedom from its grip and learn to lean on Christ more and more.
These eight principles for living help me find the right focus:
1. Live Knowing God’s Love for You Is Unfailing and Eternal
I already have the approval and acceptance I long for! Our Heavenly Father has given us His unshakable love. Scripture says that even while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. We were unclean, unrighteous, and doomed to eternal separation from God. With compassion, He sent His Son, Jesus Christ, who willingly came to die on the cross for me and you. He took our sins on Himself, even though He never sinned. He became the perfect sacrifice to pay for the wrongdoing of all mankind. Then He offered to give His righteousness in exchange for the sin of anyone who will believe in Him and receive His free, unearned, and undeserved gift.
Even more incredible, Scripture tells us, “He chose us in Him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in His sight” (Ephesians 1:4 NIV). Because Jesus took our place and died for our sins, God sees us as righteous. We’re accepted forever. We don’t have to do anything to earn His approval. Jesus already bought it for us with His precious blood.
We need encouragement and notice from each other. There’s nothing wrong with that. But if we begin to depend on that attention for worth, it becomes a problem.
When we feel the thirst for approval, we can read or memorize Scripture verses such as:
“Accept one another, then, just as Christ has accepted you, in order to bring praise to God” (Romans 15:7 NIV). I’m accepted by Christ!
“Once you were alienated from God… but now He has reconciled you by Christ’s physical body through death to present you holy in His sight, without blemish and free from accusation” (Colossians 1:21-22 NIV). I’m above reproach!
Also meditate on: Romans 8:1, 38-39; Ephesians 3:16-18; 1 John 3:1; Isaiah 54:10; and Lamentations 3:22-23.
2. Live to Serve Jesus Christ
Scripture teaches, “Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ” (Colossians 3:23-24 ESV).
As a believer in Jesus Christ, I serve Him, not myself or anyone else. Working for any other motivation besides pleasing my Lord leaves me frustrated.
Paul, New Testament writer and servant of Christ, challenged us, “Serve wholeheartedly as if you were serving the Lord, not people, because you know that the Lord will reward each one for whatever good they do, whether they are slave or free” (Ephesians 6:7-8 NIV).
I’m always working for the Lord as His follower. My question should be: did I give Him my best? or What does He want me to do next? He takes the offering, however small or large, and He uses it as He wills.
3. Live for God’s Honor, Not Your Own
Feeling good about myself is empty if I’m not honoring God. Only God’s commendation matters. Paul wrote, “But, ‘Let the one who boasts boast in the Lord.’ For it is not the one who commends himself who is approved, but the one whom the Lord commends” (2 Corinthians 10:17-18 NIV).
He was quoting the Old Testament prophet, Jeremiah, who declared, “This is what the LORD says: ‘Let not the wise boast of their wisdom or the strong boast of their strength or the rich boast of their riches, but let the one who boasts boast about this: that they have the understanding to know Me, that I am the LORD, who exercises kindness, justice and righteousness on earth, for in these I delight,’ declares the LORD” (Jeremiah 9:23-24 NIV).
The only thing we have to brag about is knowing God and His greatness. He’s the Source of all that’s good and the Giver of every gift. All glory belongs to Him!
I aim to be like John the Baptist, the forerunner of Jesus Christ. Referring to Jesus, he declared, “He must increase, but I must decrease” (John 3:30 ESV).
4. Live in Humility
Pride is an enemy common to man, the root of all sin. If I become obsessed with who does or doesn’t like what I do, my focus is on myself. Pride or self-exaltation can become a stumbling block. When I begin to aim for what makes me look good, I flounder.
Scripture admonishes us to “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others” (Philippians 2:3-4 ESV).
Selfishness and vanity will never be how to live with meaning, purpose, or joy. It will never fill the heart. Focusing on self only leads to disappointment and frustration.
I can’t make myself humble. Humility comes as we focus on Christ instead of self, remembering all He has forgiven us for and realizing we depend on Him for everything.
5. Live Choosing to Relinquish Yourself to God Daily
Jesus challenged His followers with this statement: “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow Me” (Matthew 16:24 ESV).
I must let go of wanting my own way and be willing to have the same attitude as Jesus, “Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to His own advantage; rather, He made Himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to death—even death on a cross!” (Philippians 2:6-8 NIV).
We make the choice each day, each hour, to follow Christ.
6. Live Knowing All Is Grace
We will not follow Him perfectly. We all sin, fall into pride, and wander off. Freedom is living knowing His grace covers everything we do.
God wants me to do my best but also realize that everything is a gift from Him. My abilities, knowledge, experience, and opportunities are all gifts. Every good thing in my life is because of His grace. Any fruit that comes is because He chose to use me. It’s impossible for me to produce fruit apart from Jesus Christ, the Vine. If something I do, say, or write helps, encourages, or brings someone to Him, it’s only because He chose to bless it by the power of the Holy Spirit.
7. Live to Store Up Treasures in Heaven
Jesus taught that if we give, pray, fast, or commit spiritual acts for notice and honor from others, then we’ve received our full reward. Earthly praise is all we will get. But when we give or serve because we love our Lord, He sees our hearts, and He will give us eternal rewards (Matthew 6:1-20 NIV).
We each offer our gifts back to Him, knowing only He can use them for lasting good. When we serve Him, we lay up treasures in heaven where nothing can take them away, and the fruit lasts forever.
8. Live Focusing on Gratitude for God’s Gifts
When I focus on praising God for the multitude of blessings in my life instead of what I think is deficient, I’m filled with joy! Gratitude sets us free from discontentment and the feeling of lack. King David, from the Old Testament, understood this when he wrote, “The Lord is my Shepherd. I shall not want” (Psalm 23:1 ESV).
Lord, please forgive me for being so self-focused. You’ve shown me in many ways the calling You have for me. Help me turn my eyes from my flesh and its insatiable need for affirmation and instead aim to give You glory through my obedience. May You always receive all the honor and praise for whatever I do. May Your name be lifted up. I pray self-focus will decrease as Your Spirit increases in me.
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Susan Aken writes devotions and articles for Wholly Loved Ministries, is an Oklahoma native who’s lived in Nebraska since 1987 and has been in public education for over thirty years. She and her husband have one son and a wonderful daughter-in-law. Besides writing she has a passion for special needs and prayer ministries. She enjoys time with family, reading, photography, movies, walking in nature, and a nice cup of tea. She believes life is a journey and we’re all in different places. Jesus is everything to her and it’s all about grace. Visit her at susanaken53.wordpress.com or on Facebook.
