When we extend forgiveness for even the most heinous crime, we affirm that Jesus died for all sins. When we understand this truth, we’re able to proclaim it boldly just as the gospels instruct us to do.
Forgiveness is one of the concepts that is most talked about in the Bible. Throughout the gospels, Jesus commands people to forgive. For example, Matthew 18:21-22 says, “Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, 'Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?' Jesus answered, 'I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.'" Similarly, Matthew 6:14-15 says, “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive them.” Jesus commands us to forgive many times. It's easy to read these passages and know this is God's will for us. But during difficult times, when we’re going through a situation where we must forgive someone, this is easier said than done.
I was in a similar situation just a few months ago, a difficult situation involving friends required me to forgive. However, the problem was not just that they had wronged us. Rather, they had triangulated other people into the problem. This was done to ruin my reputation and sabotage my ministry. Not only this, but neither person was sorry that they had committed this sin. It's difficult to forgive unrepentant people who don't want to change.
It’s especially difficult if the person keeps doing the act repeatedly. It is easier to forgive a one-time act and move on than to constantly forgive someone who believes they are right and continues the same action. It took many months of processing the pain before I could forgive fully.
Forgiveness is a process. I rarely hear a sermon talk about the process of forgiveness. Often, I hear that we need to forgive and simply move on. However, due to the nature of the offense and the other person’s heart, forgiveness can take time. Regardless, I’m commanded to forgive no matter how long it takes.
Here's what I learned about why forgiveness is mentioned so much in the gospels:
To Proclaim the Gospel
The gospel is the proclamation of the good news of Jesus Christ. How can I proclaim good news about Jesus when I'm unhealthy? If I harbor resentment or anger toward another brother or sister in Christ, it will hinder my ability to proclaim the gospel. I will not be able to fully proclaim the gospel because I will not fully understand it. Jesus forgave every sin we have (or will) commit in this life. His death paid the penalty for every sin. When I choose not to forgive, I hold that sin against that person. Therefore, it is like I negate the truth that the cross was not sufficient to forgive that person's particular sin.
To Be Healthy
Not only did Jesus die so my sins can be forgiven, but he also died so that I can have emotional, mental, and physical well-being in this life. Although I may never get to the point where I am fully healed from wrong actions done to me here, I can do my best to resolve them and achieve emotional wellness. Unforgiveness breeds resentment and bitterness. Both these things are the antithesis of emotional health and well-being. Jesus wants us to be free not only from our sins through his death but also emotionally, immensely free. This means we must stop replaying difficult conversations, remove all vengeful schemes in our heads, and move on from the pain. It is not easy, and it is something that takes a long time to do, but I cannot be emotionally, mentally, or physically healthy without true forgiveness.
Because God Forgives Us
God wants us to forgive because he forgives us. When we surrender our lives to Jesus, we affirm that we want to be like Christ. Therefore, we need to be like God in that we forgive others. We need to be people who are slow to anger and quick to forgive others. I cannot only forgive a small white lie but also the most heinous of crimes.
When a person murders and has no respect for life, they receive the same opportunity for forgiveness as the person who tells one white lie. That is the beauty of the gospel. Because of Jesus’ death on the cross, there is nothing we can or ever will do to negate the power Jesus’ death has for forgiving others. When we choose not to forgive others, we say no to being like Christ.
To Protect My Relationship with God
Not only does unforgiveness hinder my relationship with others, but it also hinders my relationship with God. When I harbor unforgiveness towards someone else, I cannot achieve the full relationship with God he wants. Trying to have a relationship with God while not forgiving others is like saying, "I love God, but I hate others." Scripture says, “Anyone who says they love God but hate others is a liar” (1 John 4:20). Our relationship with God hinges on whether we love others with the same love that we love the Lord. We give God glory when we forgive others, even in difficult circumstances.
God helps us process emotions that hinder us from forgiving others. He is there to love us throughout all our anger, sadness, and rage regarding the situation. God also understands that life is not fair. People on Earth deal with the reality that Earth is not heaven. Earth is not a perfect place; sometimes, people get away with wrong actions without consequence. However, God is a just God. Whether we see justice here on Earth or in heaven, God promises he will right the wrongs of everything that has been done against us. If I want to connect deeply with God, I must forgive others. This does not mean I need to trust others, but I need to forgive them and move on from the offense.
To See Others Clearly
When I choose not to forgive their wrong actions, it is difficult for me to have a good relationship with people who have not wronged me. No matter how hard I try, I bring that emotional baggage into my relationships with others. Eventually, I will project my pain and heartache onto someone else, putting a strain on that relationship as well. This wreaks havoc on healthy relationships in my life.
However, when I choose to forgive that offense, I'm able not only to try to rebuild trust and intimacy with the person who has wronged me, but I also can enjoy healthy relationships with others who have not wronged me. In heaven, everything will be made right. But until then, I struggle with the tension between having people who have wronged me and whom I do not trust and those who have not wronged me and whom I do trust. I lean on the ones I can trust in the assurance that it is possible to have healthy relationships here on Earth.
Forgiveness is mentioned throughout the gospels because it is part of God's heart. God wants us to forgive others just as he has forgiven us. When we extend forgiveness for even the most heinous crime, we affirm that Jesus died for all sins. When we understand this truth, we’re able to proclaim it boldly just as the gospels instruct us to do.
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