Do My Spouse and I Need a Mentor in Our Marriage?
By: Vivian Bricker
"As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another." (Proverbs 27:17)
Similar to marriage counseling, having a mentor can feel like an insult to our marriage. When someone says we would benefit from a mentor, we automatically get defensive. The truth is that all of us need a mentor in our marriage. Marriage is a beautiful covenant between a husband and a wife, but it is not easy. This is why we need a mentor in our marriage.
Even though many of our friends and family members try to present their marriages as perfect, they are not. Nobody's marriage is perfect because we are all fallen sinners (Romans 3:23). We did not marry a perfect person because perfect people don't exist. All of us have our own struggles and flaws. Rather than tearing our marriage apart because of these things, we can use them to help us grow closer to our spouse.
One of the best ways we can do this is by having a mentor. A mentor is someone who can help your marriage in a myriad of ways. They can share their personal experiences, what they have learned from the Lord, and the wisdom they have gleaned from marriage. It is important to seek out a mentor older than you, as this individual will have considerable knowledge of marriage. Maybe this is your mom and dad, your aunt and uncle, or your church's pastor and wife.
It is essential to have a mentor for yourself as well as your spouse. In this way, you will be able to learn one-on-one with a person of your gender and hear the viewpoint from the other side. For example, if you are a woman, you would benefit from having a mentor in the form of your mom or a kind woman from church. However, you will also learn new perspectives by listening to the shared experiences of both the wife and her husband.
In the same way, if you are a man, you will benefit from having a mentor in the form of your dad or the pastor at your church. They will be able to help you learn wisdom when it comes to marriage as well as how to strengthen your marriage. By talking to their wives too, it will help you understand the perspective of your wife better. While we would like to think we have everything figured out when it comes to our spouse, it simply is not true. There is still much for us to learn and having a mentor can truly help strengthen our marriage.
Proverbs 27:17 tells us, "As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another." As this passage says, just as iron sharpens iron, a person sharpens another person. In other words, by having a mentor, they will be able to sharpen you. In your marriage, life, and walk with the Lord, they will be able to encourage you and build you up in His Name. Rather than growing dull, your mentor will be your biggest cheerleader.
God wants us to surround ourselves with people who truly care about our well-being. Mentors are the best people for this role—they are able to sharpen us in our everyday life. They encourage us to be intentional in our marriage, love our spouse, and bring glory to God through our marriage. Don't feel bad for reaching out to a mentor; it can help your marriage substantially.
Caring about our marriage is vital. Taking time to invest in a mentor, will help a husband and wife learn more about each other, obtain godly wisdom, and love each other as God commands. Sadly, it is all too common where couples grow tired of one another and stop being intentional. By bringing a Christian mentor in your life, it can quickly help change things for the better. Go to the Lord today and trust Him in this journey.
Prayer:
"Dear Jesus, it is clear that my spouse and I need a mentor in our marriage. Please lead us to the right mentor and to find a couple who truly loves You. Help my spouse and I apply what the mentor tells us and follow You faithfully. I don't want to admit it, but I can see now how my marriage is struggling. Please help Lord like only You can. Thank You, Amen."
Related Resource: Engaging with God in a Technology-Saturated World
Many of us feel hurried, and hurry is costing us more than we realize. The Unhurried Living Podcast with Alan and Gem Fadling provides resources and training to help Christian leaders learn to live and lead from fullness rather than on empty. After realizing the toll technology had taken on his connection with God, his community, and even himself, Carlos Whitaker took radical steps to disconnect in order to reconnect. He spent nearly two months living screen-free at a monastery, an Amish farm, and his own home, experiencing profound transformation along the way. If this episode helps you recenter your work and life on God, be sure to subscribe to Unhurried Living on Apple or Spotify so you never miss an episode!
Originally published Monday, 20 January 2025.
SHARE
