Be Mentally Faithful to Your Spouse
By: Michelle Lazurek
“Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.” 1 Peter 3:7
“What’s going on in your marriage?”
This is the question a fellow church member asked me one day. We'd been meeting for a few months and doing a book together on emotional healing. I began by sharing a recent fight my husband and I had just encountered. First, I started by describing the battle. Then, I began to share more intimately what was exchanged between us. Before I knew it, I was gossiping and disparaging my husband's reputation. This had caused a rift not only in our church but also in our marriage.
Throughout my years of ministry, I've had many people confide in me about the health of their marriages. I've prayed with them, cried, and advised them how to make their marriages healthier. While I was a trusted listening ear for them, I needed a trusted friend to help me through my marriage.
Not only this, but I also allowed myself to dishonor my marriage by speaking unkindly about my husband to others. Even though I didn't mean to say harsh words, I was committing mental unfaithfulness to my husband that would wreak havoc on my marriage later.
There are many ways to have an affair. Although some people may not commit the physical act of committing an affair, there are ways to be mentally and emotionally unfaithful to one's spouse as well. In this case, gossiping about my husband to another person committed mental infidelity against him. This caused a rift in our marriage that took a while to repair. Speaking kindly about your spouse to others, even if you do it to seek advice or help, may cause a marriage to deteriorate or even be severed completely.
This is because it becomes difficult to trust someone who you know is talking poorly about you to others. In my wedding vows, I honor my marriage by speaking kindly about my spouse to others, even when seeking help or advice. Dishonoring my marriage and allowing mental infidelity to occur would be a violation of my vows.
It's essential to anchor myself in God's word to promote positive relationships with those around me, including my spouse. No matter how bad my marriage gets, I should not speak unkindly to people who know my husband. If I need to seek wise counsel, I should seek the help of a professional with whom I can speak freely and openly behind closed doors and get professional solutions to my problems. Spreading gossip about my spouse to others may make me feel good in the short term, but in the long term, it tears down my marriage in a way just as any infidelity does.
Have you spoken about your spouse in an unkind manner to others? Does your spouse know about this? Take it a step further to repair your marriage and confess this sin to your spouse. They may get angry initially, but assure them you will never do it again. Even if they are unaware of this gossip, other factors contribute to your marriage's health. Even if your marriage is on shaky ground, gossip will not help. But confession that leads to repentance will help. This repentance can lead to trust being rebuilt between you.
Even if you have received good advice from the person you've shared this with, immediately stop this gossip. If it hasn't affected your marriage now, it will in the future. Be a person of integrity and speak well of your spouse in public. Honor your marriage with your words by highlighting its positive attributes. If you are in a rough patch and have difficulty identifying positive traits, recall what you felt about them when you first married. Dwell on those thoughts and allow those to steer your marriage.
Mental infidelity can be just as dangerous as physical or emotional infidelity. Be a person of integrity, curb the gossip, and seek the help of a professional. Be a person of honor and honor your spouse publicly.
Lord, help us not to commit mental infidelity. Let us speak openly about our spouses, praising them to others in public. Please help us to highlight the positive attributes of our spouses. Let us be people who do not speak poorly about our spouses but rather people who uplift them and speak positively about their lives. Amen.
Photo Credit: Getty Images/AndreyPopov via Canva Pro
Related Resource: The Truth Every Overwhelmed Christian Mom Needs to Hear
Feeling overwhelmed by motherhood? Wondering how to prioritize your faith when you're barely keeping up with everyday life?
If you've ever ended the day feeling guilty because you didn't have time to read your Bible, pray, or spend quiet time with God, you're not alone.
In this episode of I Wish You Could Hear This, Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn sit down with author, speaker, and Equipping Godly Women founder Brittany Ann to talk honestly about the challenges young Christian moms face. Together, they explore how to grow closer to God without adding more pressure to an already full life.
Brittany shares her own journey of balancing marriage, motherhood, ministry, and faith, along with practical encouragement for finding God's peace—even in the middle of exhaustion and chaos.
Like what you hear? Be sure to follow I Wish You Could Hear This on Apple or Spotify so you never miss an episode!
Originally published Friday, 24 July 2026.
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