How Can My Spouse and I Serve Christ Together?
By: Vivian Bricker
"For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many" (Mark 10:45).
Something I have observed in churches is the desire to serve. Whether a person is married or single, they eagerly want to serve. A neighbor of mine has been a woman of service for my entire life. As a child, I saw her serve in churches, and even into my adult years, I have continued to see her serve. Regardless of the church, this woman loves the Lord and desires to serve Him wholeheartedly.
This woman's husband, however, is not too keen on serving others. Whether there is a disconnect or a heart that is not truly set on glorifying God, I am not sure. What I do know is that there is no unity in Christian service between this woman and her husband. The last time I saw her, once again serving in the church, I wondered, "Why aren't more married couples serving God together?"
Instead of the husband and wife serving Christ together, often only one will truthfully serve Him, usually the wife. You will see the wife helping in the children's church, children's ministry, missionary trips, and even cooking meals at the church, but the husband is sitting on a pew in the audience. Why is this? And why don't more men desire to serve Christ with their spouses?
There could be a myriad of different answers to these questions; however, it's important that we turn to the Bible. People could pose various answers or reasons for a lack of service on behalf of husbands in the church, but often, they can be quite patriarchal in nature. "It is a woman's place to serve—not a man's" is a saying I have heard on more than one occasion and it makes me feel like peeling off my skin.
If we are genuinely obeying Jesus, then we would see the importance of both men and women serving Him through their actions and words. This means that both men and women need to be serving Jesus in their home churches. As Christians, there needs to be more vocal voices in the congregation to bring light to these issues. Until this day, all we can do is pray and encourage our own spouses to serve alongside us.
As the Lord tells us in Mark 10:45, Jesus came to serve—not to be served and to give His life as a ransom for many. Jesus is God in the flesh, yet He humbled Himself to come down from Heaven, die for our sins, and provide redemption for all those who would place faith in Him (John 1:1; Philippians 2:1-11). The Lord is worthy for everyone to serve Him; however, He is the One who came to serve us.
With the same heart and spirit, we need to desire to serve others. Just as Jesus served others, we need to serve them and this includes serving others as a married couple. One spouse doesn't need to be the only one actively serving. A wife and her husband ought to serve in the church together. Out of a heart of love and respect for God, neither the husband nor the wife should have difficulty serving the Lord.
Jesus did so much for us. There is no reason not to serve Him, our brothers and sisters in Christ, each other in marriage, and those who have not placed faith in Him yet. Our entire lives are meant to serve the Lord, and we should not neglect this. As a married couple, you and your spouse have the opportunity to serve God in your church, on the mission field, and at home.
Take advantage of this opportunity today by truly loving your spouse, being there for them, and listening to their needs. Service doesn't always have to be something you see with your eyes. It can be sitting with your spouse when they are in pain or after they have lost a loved one. There are so many ways to serve your spouse and this should not be overlooked.
As a married couple, you both need to serve in the church, serving God and each other. This will equip your marriage and enhance your Christian walk with the Lord. If you don't know where God is guiding you right now for service, ask Him in prayer. He will give you guidance.
Prayer:
"Dear Jesus, please help my spouse and I start serving more intentionally. Sometimes, it is only myself serving; other times, it is only him. Please equip us with the encouragement and desire to serve in the church, to serve You, and to serve each other within our marriage. I trust that You will give me direction and show us where we can both best serve within the family of God. I praise You, Lord. Amen."
Related Resource: How to Make Your Prayer Habits Stick
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Originally published Wednesday, 08 January 2025.
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