Song of Songs 2:16 "My beloved is mine, and I am his; he browses among the lilies."
Marriage is intended to be spicy! All the longing, desire, and romance that makes our hearts sing are given one place to be expressed, and that is in the marriage bedroom. Not every day will be a life-changing love-making experience, but there should be encounters we share that express passion, desire, and love and fulfill our needs.
Song of Solomon is a book that is notoriously not read until a young Jewish boy hits adulthood because of its mature content. This biblical look at a marriage does not skip on the sex! Each chapter describes in great detail the passion this couple shares that is fully expressed once they are married.
Intimacy is intended to be one of the sweetest parts of being married. We are to relish those moments that get butterflies going in our chests when we just get to be with our spouse. Being emotionally, spiritually, and physically intimate keeps the joy alive in our marriages.
There is no one-size-fits-all rule for what sexual intimacy should look like in your home, but one thing is for sure: regular sex is a part of a healthy marriage. How often, what that looks like, feels like, and so on should be agreed upon between a husband and a wife. Both parties should feel safe, loved, and cherished in the bedroom. As you grow in marriage, you should continue to revisit this conversation and make sure you both remain satisfied and that each other's needs are being met.
Trust is foundational for physical and emotional intimacy to thrive in our relationships. Honoring each other with faithful bodies and minds protects what we share in the bedroom. When there is a break in trust, we cannot be fully present for our partner. Lies build walls that eventually lock each other out. Do all you can to honor your spouse with absolute honesty and faithfulness.
Being intimate is being familiar with one another. That means our partners' minds, bodies, and souls should feel recognizable to us. Married life offers us the chance to grow almost as comfortable as we are in our own skin when we are exposed to our partner. If there are hidden places in our marriage, that comfort is diminished. Our ability to remain connected as a couple relies on an ongoing commitment to be transparent with our partner in all things.
The verse from Song of Songs uses the word mine, which indicates ownership, a bond, closeness, and protectiveness of the precious beloved. This is a picture of how we should be protectors and pursuers of our spouse. Even and maybe especially when things are hard, we need to remember that they are yours—a gift God gave just for you! You were not placed together by mistake, but God has a purpose for your union. Hold fast to each other.
Sexual intimacy is a binding act that connects mind, body, and soul. It's something we must revisit often in marriage to renew our commitment and tend to the connection we have been given that is so valuable. Passionately protect your union, it is not common, it is sacred.
Prayer:
God, we thank you for the gift of sexual intimacy in marriage. You designed us to desire love, passion, romance, and relational joy! Give us the grace we need to express and experience this in the context of our marriages. Help us to protect, nurture, and sow into our shared intimacy. Let us live openly with each other, hiding nothing. Give us the grace to remain faithful and committed even in the hardest seasons of life that we share. Bless our sex life, allowing it to only grow sweeter with age. Help us not to treat the marriage we've been given as common. The chance to share a life together is a holy calling. Give us all we need to remain connected to each other over a lifetime. Amen.
Amanda Idleman is a writer whose passion is to encourage others to live joyfully. She writes devotions for My Daily Bible Verse Devotional and Podcast, Crosswalk Couples Devotional, the Daily Devotional App, she has work published with Her View from Home, on the MOPS Blog, and is a regular contributor for Crosswalk.com. She has most recently published a devotional, Comfort: A 30 Day Devotional Exploring God's Heart of Love for Mommas. You can find out more about Amanda on her Facebook Page or follow her on Instagram.
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