Intimacy Requires Investment - Crosswalk Couples Devotional - January 6

Intimacy Requires Investment

By: Amanda Idleman

The point is this: whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows bountifully will also reap bountifully.—2 Corinthians 9:6 

Relationships require effort to grow and thrive. Sometimes, in our most important relationships, we can begin to take for granted the person we are committed to loving. Life has a way of filling up. We each have long lists of things that we need to do such as tend to our careers, homes, children, and other duties. If we aren't careful, our marriages will grow stale and disconnected for no other reason than that we have neglected to invest in them.

In my home, this honestly feels like a constant struggle. My husband and I have the best intentions to connect daily, pray together as much as we can, and generally make space to see each other. Life seems to always get in the way of us making this a habit that sticks. Either we are merely passing ships as one tends to work while another tends to kids or we are so exhausted that having a conversation at the end of the day when we are finally together just feels overwhelming. 

If this goes on for too long, our tone with each other starts to change. We grow less patient with each other and start to assume the other one doesn't care about what's going on in our lives. Our connection starts to break down, leaving us more prone to escalating arguments over silly things. Intimacy and peace between us cannot be maintained without us diligently investing in our relationship. 

When we sow sparingly into our marriages, we reap sparingly. If we want intimate, joyful, and connected marriages we must offer our spouse a bounty of our love. We have to find ways to prioritize our partner in this life because marriage is an easy target for the enemy. He so quickly finds ways to divide us as he knows a divided house cannot stand. 

A good rhythm to attempt is daily check ins, weekly meetings, monthly dates, and quarterly retreats. 

A daily check-in can be a nightly prayer said together or a more quick conversation that keeps your partner in the loop about what is going on in your daily life. 

Weekly, you should clear more time to be together and have a longer conversation. This could be a night you stay up later to watch a movie and talk. 

Plan a date night of several hours together monthly for the purpose of connecting and enjoying each other. 

You should plan a retreat for you and your spouse a few times a year. At least one night without others around to destress and connect in a more substantial way. This rhythm helps to build chances to see each other into your wild and crazy life!

Make every effort to keep the connection alive in your marriage. Your marriage relationship and relationship with God is the bedrock that the rest of your life should be built on. We must keep this foundational connection alive and strong through intentional investment in each other. 

Prayer:

Father, we thank you that your word is full of wisdom. You tell us that marriage is a sacred union intended to last a lifetime, and you also remind us that what we sow into it is where fruit will grow. Help us to be intentional about sowing into our marriage relationships so they can flourish! Provide us wisdom on how to create rhythms in our lives that enable us to stay connected as a couple. Protect our marriage from the evil one and distractions. Amen. 

Amanda Idleman is a writer whose passion is to encourage others to live joyfully. She writes devotions for My Daily Bible Verse Devotional and Podcast, Crosswalk Couples Devotional, the Daily Devotional App, she has work published with Her View from Home, on the MOPS Blog, and is a regular contributor for Crosswalk.com. She has most recently published a devotional, Comfort: A 30 Day Devotional Exploring God's Heart of Love for Mommas. You can find out more about Amanda on her Facebook Page or follow her on Instagram.

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