Love Keeps No Record of Wrongs
By: Michelle Lazurek
"It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs." 1 Corinthians 13:5
"No, it's your turn to do the dishes," my husband retorted after I made a back-handed comment about the filled sink. Since chores are one of my least favorite things, doing them often makes me feel like a servant to the rest of my family. I became enraged when he told me he would do the dishes every day and then didn't do them for three days. Not wanting to start a fight, I let it go. But when I couldn't make dinner because the sink was still full of dishes that he promised to do, I couldn't resist the urge to remind him of his promise.
That one comment escalated the conversation into a huge fight. Soon, dishes weren't even the topic of the battle. I was then recalling things he had done years ago that hurt me. Like a policeman with his citation booklet in my hand, I read off a litany of statements and actions that caused some big betrayals in my life. Unfortunately, the real issue wasn't the dishes at all. It was all the other things that I was holding against him from years ago that I hadn't fully forgiven.
Every time I read that litany of behaviors and actions, my husband became defensive and assassinated my character with all the actions that I had done in the past as well. What appeared to be one comment about dishes turned into unearthing some of our deepest hurts and betrayals.
The above verse is taken from one of the most famous passages on love. Many people use it as part of their wedding ceremony to remind themselves of what love truly is. When we fall in love with our spouses, we feel as if we will be able to obey all the commands mentioned in that passage. However, as the years pass and similar trials stock up like a dirty pile of dishes, we easily disregard this passage. Our minds become easily irritated, and we record all the wrongs our spouses committed in our minds.
It's important to note the nuances of this verse. Not only do we make a record of wrongs, but we keep them. As Paul commanded, we should not keep a record of wrongs. In the same way Jesus chooses not to remember our sins and use them against us, the apostle Paul commands his church to do the same. In this moment, we are to act like Jesus, not allowing our past to dictate our future. We are supposed to rip up the records of wrongs our spouses committed in our minds, crumple those memories, and throw them away like trash.
When we let go of the other person's wrongs, our marriage will be more complimentary. Recording wrongs means not only will we remember the wrongs our spouses committed, but we will also pull them out in the deep recesses of our minds during our arguments when all we want to do is win.
If we want our marriages to thrive, the best thing we can do is not use our spouses' past against them. The beauty of grace means that Christ's blood covers over all our past sins, mistakes, and failures. God extends grace to us each day. Every morning, we wake up with a new start. Like a clean slate, we can start over in our relationship with Christ. In the same way, each day should be like a clean slate in our marriages. We don't use their past against them, and we choose to move forward and fulfill our vows to love, honor, and cherish our spouses.
Prayer:
Father, let us be people who keep no record of wrongs. Let us demonstrate your example in our lives by choosing not only to forget the past but also not to use it against our spouses in the future. Let us be spouses who want the best for our partners, allowing them to have a clean start each day. Amen.
Related Resource: Engaging with God in a Technology-Saturated World
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Originally published Tuesday, 01 April 2025.
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