The Secret to Keeping His Attention - Crosswalk Couples Devotional - December 11

The Secret to Keeping His Attention

By: Rhonda Stoppe

"She opens her mouth with wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness." (Proverbs 31:26)

We can't help but be captivated by those couples who seem utterly spellbound by one another. You know the ones I mean—the husband who catches his wife's eye from across the room, sharing a playful wink that speaks volumes. But who is this remarkable woman who manages to keep her husband's attention amidst the chaos of parenting, financial struggles, and those extra pounds that have lingered since the babies came along? It's a beautiful mystery we all yearn to uncover.

Wouldn't you like to be that woman? What's her secret? How has this wife succeeded in keeping her husband's attention, and what insights can you gain from her experience?

I will let you in on a marriage-transforming secret: The key to winning your husband's lasting affection lies in your commitment to nurturing your inner beauty.

A Showcase of Inner Beauty

Let me tell you about the biblical example of Ruth. This remarkable woman radiated inner beauty in a world that often focuses on outward appearances. According to Scripture, Ruth came from Moab, where she married a Jewish man who passed away much too soon. When her beloved, widowed mother-in-law, Naomi, made the difficult decision to return to her homeland of Israel, Ruth's devotion was revealed. Her loyalty to Naomi—and the God of Israel—never wavered. She left her home behind with a courageous commitment to a life dedicated to love, faith, and family. Ruth's story is a powerful reminder of how troubled times reveal true beauty that shines brightest when it comes from the heart.

After Naomi and Ruth arrived in Israel, they found themselves in dire circumstances. With Naomi too elderly to work, Ruth went out daily to collect leftover grain in the fields. And here's where the story takes a delightful turn. By divine intervention, Ruth found herself gleaning in the field of Boaz, who became enthralled by her loveliness. I particularly appreciate how Boaz instructed the young men not to harm Ruth.

Consider the fear Ruth must have felt, daily putting herself in a vulnerable position gathering in fields among unfamiliar men. Picture Boaz riding in like a knight in shining armor to protect her. What was it about this woman from a foreign land that captivated Boaz? And what can you learn from her qualities to help you capture your husband's attention for a lifetime?

I found some of Ruth's outstanding qualities in my study Bible. Let's explore those traits:

Photo credit: ©SWN/Dalle AI

Devoted to Her Family

Ruth was deeply committed to her family. Her loyalty to her mother-in-law, Naomi, was evident when Naomi urged her to return to her own people. Ruth's heartfelt reply has since become a cherished quote often referenced by couples during wedding ceremonies: "Wherever you go, I will go; and wherever you lodge, I will lodge; your people shall be my people, and your God, my God" (Ruth 1:16).

When it comes to family, being devoted is a quality you can cultivate. True devotion is about investing your heart and soul into the moments that matter. Whether it's the laughter shared over dinner or late-night talks filled with dreams and hopes, every little interaction strengthens the bond you share with your spouse. Being devoted means showing up, even when it's tough. It means prioritizing your loved ones, cheering them on, and listening when life gets hard. Mostly, it's about creating a safe and welcoming place where love abounds and memories are made. When you strive to be the heartbeat of your family, your husband will likely be enthralled by your nurturing qualities and will come to cherish moments together with you.

Dependent on God

Boaz identified another admirable trait in Ruth: her reliance on God. He noted that she had sought refuge under "the wings of the Lord God of Israel" (Ruth 2:12). For a man of faith, a significant source of comfort and connection is the awareness that his wife is actively pursuing a relationship with the Lord in her daily life.

Dedicated to Godly Speech

Another key quality that can make you truly cherished by your husband is your commitment to speaking with grace and wisdom. Proverbs 31:26 describes the ideal woman: "She opens her mouth with wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness."

Every conversation is an opportunity to reflect Christ's love. Instead of using words that tear down, choose to build up because this brings life and light into every situation. Remember, your speech should weave together wisdom and compassion, making you a beacon of hope to your husband—in a world where he desperately needs hope. How you speak to your husband reveals your heart and has the power to uplift, encourage, and inspire him.

In your quest to capture your husband's attention for a lifetime, learn from Ruth's story to develop your inner beauty by living in devotion to your family, depending upon God, and cultivating speech filled with grace, kindness, and truth.

"Father, you know how my heart longs to become a wife who my husband cherishes. Please help me learn to live in devotion to my family, dependent upon You, with speech that builds up and brings him life. Amen."

Rhonda Stoppe is a best-selling Christian author of seven books. With 40 years of experience in helping women build no regrets lives, Rhonda has become a highly sought after voice in the Christian living community. She has written hundreds of articles for Crosswalk.com and other popular magazines. Rhonda has appeared on The 700 Club, 100 Huntley Street, Family Life Today, Dobson’s Family Talk, and her interviews at Focus on the Family have been named in their Best Of Episodes 2021 & 2023. “I could have listened to Rhonda talk all night,” is what listeners say. Her speaking platform includes: Homeschool conferences, (MOPs) MomCo, MomCon, Legacy Grandparenting Summit and more. She is the host of the award-winning podcast, Old Ladies Know Stuff. Rhonda has over 40 years experience as a pastor’s wife, speaker, mom coach, marriage mentor, mother of four–and did we mention she’s a grandmother of 15! Find out more about Rhonda at NoRegretsWoman.com.