A Time to Heal
Patsy Kuipers, Guest Writer
TODAY’S TREASURE
For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven . . . a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance (Ecclesiastes 3:1,4).
Watching my hand heal from carpal tunnel surgery several years ago provided daily reinforcement of the truth of Psalm 139:14: we are fearfully and wonderfully made. It also reminded me healing is a process that can’t be rushed.
Outpatient surgery complete, I left the hospital sporting an impressive bandage that looked like a soft white club at the end of my arm. Three days later, my daughter Jessie carefully unwound the massive bandage as my Mom watched, none of us quite sure what to expect when my hand finally reappeared. I, not liking the sight of blood or incisions, especially when they’re on me, averted my gaze. Mom’s reaction, “Oh, that’s not bad at all”, was quickly followed by Jessie’s, “It looks a bit gruesome though.” The latter comment kept me from looking – for days! Mom faithfully changed the small-by-comparison Band-Aide® each night, offering more encouraging commentary, which was enough to assure me progress was being made.
When my daughter Mary first saw my hand without the post-surgery dressing, she remarked, “I bet it feels good to have your hand unwrapped.” It was certainly more comfortable, but without the enormous bandage, I felt vulnerable and became ever-vigilant lest additional harm befalls my aching hand.
In her self-titled role as “Nurse Jane,” Mom not only checked my incision nightly but admonished me multiple times a day not to overdo it. I assured her (every time) she didn’t need to worry about me being careful since I’d be the one to suffer if I injured myself. Intent on recovering well, I followed the surgeon’s instructions to the letter and did my best to protect the incision, which I looked at frequently after the stitches were removed. I even forsook working in my beloved garden for a whole month!
Bit by bit, my strength and range of motion improved. I tried to do a little more each day and let my body tell me when I was attempting too much. One morning, several weeks after surgery, my hand felt almost normal. "Yes! I’m well!" Not so fast. The next day, and for several days afterward, I experienced cramping and occasional shooting pain in my hand. Healing had progressed to a deeper level. A week or so after that first almost-normal day, I experienced another day with little to no surgery-related discomfort. Eventually, the pain-free days exceeded the painful ones, and the recovery process continued to completion, leaving behind a barely-visible scar.
LIFE-GIVING ENCOURAGEMENT
The pain of loss can be every bit as sharp and piercing as any surgeon’s scalpel. Though the wounds are invisible, it’s equally important and appropriate to take care of ourselves when we’re hurting emotionally. Resting, receiving encouragement and assistance from supportive people, and protecting ourselves from further harm are critical components of healing, whether the injuries are physical or emotional.
And don’t underestimate the value of time.
Grieving is a process as individual as physical healing and every bit as back and forth. There are days when a new normal gains traction, followed by a return to hours marked by intense sorrow upon realizing all over again things won’t ever be the way they were. There will always be a scar, a tender spot related to our loss.
Two steps forward, one back. Three steps forward, two back. But gradually, in time, healing takes place because the One who made us, fearfully and wonderfully, is the same One who never lets us go. He has compassion on us, remembering we’re dust and knowing what it’s like to experience the sorrows of this life because the Word became flesh and dwelt among us (John 1:14).
So let us be gentle and patient with ourselves and with each other, following the example of Jesus, who took up our pain and bore our sorrows that we might be eternally healed (Isaiah 53:4-5).
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Patsy Kuipers often refers to herself as “Gardening Grammie”, a title that encompasses two of her favorite pastimes. Widowed at age 38, she was blessed to be gainfully employed all the years she spent raising two daughters on her own. When her job was eliminated several years ago, she returned to school to study horticulture, a passion born of caring for the garden her husband left as part of his legacy. Patsy is Grammie to three small but enthusiastic garden helpers. She enjoys teaching them about plants and the One who created them. Patsy started her blog, Back 2 the Garden (patsykuipers.com), to tell others of God’s great love and faithfulness. She is a member of Grace Covenant Church in Dallas, GA where she serves on the Women’s Ministry Committee and leads women’s Bible studies.
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Originally published Thursday, 18 August 2022.
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