Navigating the Grief Journey
Fall Back On Your Faith
By Carla. J. Miller, Guest Writer
Today’s Treasure
"Now faith is confidence in what we hope for…" Hebrews 11:1 NIV
"We walk by faith and not by sight." 2 Corinthians 5:7 NIV
Mourning death and holding on to faith are not mutually exclusive. In fact, without my faith in God, I believe I would have handled Henry’s death in defeat. I do not understand why God allowed Henry to die, but faith in God is my bedrock. He has never failed me and He cannot change, so I know He will not fail me now. Henry’s death drove me to the Bible to double-check God’s words and ways. What was my faith based upon? What are God’s promises that He cannot break? Questions are good because the dig for answers exposes me more to truth. Studying God’s word is how we begin to understand Who God is and how He acts.
Challenge God. Ask, “What do you want me to learn?” I will not find ALL the answers but I will find what is required to continue my trust in Him. God will not reveal the answers to all my questions today but he will reveal enough to save me, in this life and in the life to come. Would it be “faith” if all my questions were answered? We cannot know the future and I believe that is a kindness. Were we to know all that is to transpire in our lives, I do not think we could bear up under that knowledge. This is why our walk with Him is day-by-day, moment-by-moment. I mustn’t let worries about the future overwhelm me; instead, I must turn to the Lord for support in the present. (Matthew 6:34 GN)
It took a while to get there, but I now choose to focus on what we received from Henry’s short sojourn on earth rather than on the regret of what will never be. Henry was stewarded to his parents and those who loved him. I tried to come up with reasons why God might take Henry from us so soon. The demands coinciding with Henry’s physical growth and strength would only increase the vigilance and skillful management he required. Henry would never live independently but would always need an enormous amount of care and support. His needs were all-consuming and his behaviors hard to handle. His presence affected the entire family in many, many positive ways but also in negative ones. I even think, at times, that his death was a severe mercy. “Why?” is a question that will not be answered this side of heaven. Henry’s life mattered and made an incredible impact on his circle of influence. I am grateful we were able to give and receive with Henry for 5 years. Because “he was,” we will be able to cherish his memory forever!
Following is an excerpt from Rachel, my daughter, and Henry’s aunt. It speaks of faith in the midst of mourning:
“Today marks one month since my precious, sweet Henry died. This has been one of the hardest months of my life. Looking back it seems like traumatic events hit me more dramatically when I was younger even though they were less important, but I know it’s because there was more fear in my heart then. This is definitely the saddest thing I’ve ever been through, but it feels different because I have a deeper trust in God. But that doesn’t mean I feel good or that everything is okay. God is good and I trust him—but I am also sad and hurting and have questions. Both things can be true at the same time. I feel like a huge chunk of myself has been removed and all that’s left is empty space and a dull ache. This hollowness makes me feel like less than myself-not fully here-not fully alive. A spark has been trampled on inside my soul. And yet—hope is still there. It’s quiet and small, but it’s present. I know that as time forges on, my empty spaces will start to fill up again…God will fill them with new experiences and laughter...new joys and realities. But the person I was before…Henry’s Auntie Rachel…will never be quite the same. Henry made me happier, braver and less selfish…I can only imagine how many more things he would’ve taught me if we had the time. I love you, my sweet boy, thanks for the memories and the life lessons.”
Henry was a real part of our lives who was born, lived, and died on God’s timetable.
"But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord, a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day." 2 Peter 3:8 NIV
Because of my faith, I know with certainty that Henry is in the presence of Jesus, completely healed, singing and enjoying “Jesus music.” I know that we will be together again, and this time, for an eternity.
Fall back on your faith. Ask God to give you the “eyes” of faith. God will not fail you.
PRAYER
Almighty One, You did not promise perfection in this life but in the next. Your promise for this life is Your abiding presence, matchless power, and perfect plan. Remind me as I read Your Word that You are unchangeably good, righteous, just, compassionate, and wise. You reign now and forever. Although you allow Satan to continue to win some earthly battles such as death, you have already overcome both physical and spiritual death and won the war. I receive the “grace and peace from Him Who is and Who was and Who is to come…from Jesus Christ the faithful witness, the firstborn from the dead, and the ruler of kings on earth.” (Revelation 1:4-5 NIV) Amen.
More free resources for help, hope, and healing:
Ask Dr. Betters is a topical video series of over 425 videos that have reached over 1 1/2 million views. Dr. Chuck F. Betters answers questions submitted by the listening audience on suffering and the sovereignty of God. It is MARKINC's hope that Dr. Betters answers will reinforce that God is good and worthy of our trust even when life is difficult and when we struggle to understand Him. You can learn more or subscribe by clicking here: Ask Dr. Betters
About the Author: Carla (Hannuksela) Miller is a wife, mother of four, and grandmother of eight. She retired from teaching children with autism but still loves learning, writing, and reading. Her husband Gregg was a youth pastor, associate pastor and senior pastor over 40 years of church ministry. He has been diagnosed with dementia so she also has become a caregiver in the last few years. She is discovering new paths to explore in their beautiful state, attacking crossword puzzles, and relishing time with her family.
For more from Daily Treasure please visit MARKINC.ORG.
Originally published Friday, 12 April 2024.
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