Remember, the Tongue Is a Fire
Sharon W. Betters
Today’s Treasure
So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things. How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire! And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell.
Memories of believing gossip and spreading it without thought for the grief I was causing humble me before the grace of God. How grateful I am He forgives, but how sad I am for the pain I caused, using a little bit of truth to convince the hearer of my reliability but with the goal to hurt others with thoughtless words. Like Korah, my heart turned from God’s grace to the lust of my own wickedness. James’ words remind me my tongue reveals my heart and without a heart change, I have no hope of controlling it:
Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness. For we all stumble in many ways. And if anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle his whole body. If we put bits into the mouths of horses so that they obey us, we guide their whole bodies as well. Look at the ships also: though they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs. So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things.
What could happen if we humbly accept our inability to control our tongues unless the Lord transforms our hearts? What if we acknowledge we struggle to respond in a godly way to gossip and we are eager to fuel the fires of damaging words? Could we intentionally and prayerfully plan how to respond when tempted by gossip?
LIFE-GIVING ENCOURAGEMENT
Here is a practical strategy to intentionally embrace before you are tempted to help destroy another person with evil words. Note how taking each step could have dismantled the destruction caused by Korah and his malcontents. Better yet, think through your own response to gossip and discontent and how these steps can cultivate community and peace rather than division and hostility:
1. Instead of stirring up chaos with gossip, ask God for wisdom on how to proceed in response to your feelings of discontent. (James 1:5-8)
2. Instead of prideful allegations and trying to place blame for your discontent on someone else, humbly examine your discontent and willingness to identify your own sin. Repent.
3. Instead of spreading gossip and gathering others who agree with you, meet with the offending party and express your perspective with the goal of giving the person the opportunity to explain their behavior (Matthew 18:15). I remember well the horror of listening to people publicly accuse my husband of wrongdoing in congregational meetings without privately approaching him with their concerns. Their rage toward him was unwarranted yet months of gossip convinced them lies were the truth. Korah and his cohorts blindsided Moses and Aaron publicly. Perhaps they knew a private meeting would not result in their wishes. Yet, handling their conflict privately could have protected the health of the covenant family and the Korahites from the consequences of their sin.
4. Make the relationship the priority, not the issue at hand. When the relationship is more important than being “right” we will choose words designed to result in peace rather than hurt:
There is one who speaks rashly like the thrusts of a sword, But the tongue of the wise brings healing.
Do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.
- Listen, listen, listen:
This you know, my beloved brethren, but everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger; for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God.
- If you are the one approached by someone disturbed by your behavior, remember:
Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy.
Ask the Lord to help you discern any seeds of truth in the perceived offense, and to give you the humility to repent and work toward reconciliation.
As I consider the damage caused by Korah and his friends, I shudder to think of church conflicts fed and inflamed by gossip and wrong information. I pray that before we involve ourselves in gossip, we will remember:
Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.
When a man's ways are pleasing to the LORD, He makes even his enemies to be at peace with him.
More free resources for help, hope, and healing:
Ask Dr. Betters is a topical video series of over 425 videos that have reached over 1 1/2 million views. Dr. Chuck F. Betters answers questions submitted by the listening audience on suffering and the sovereignty of God. It is MARKINC's hope that Dr. Betters answers will reinforce that God is good and worthy of our trust even when life is difficult and when we struggle to understand Him. You can learn more or subscribe by clicking here: Ask Dr. Betters
About the Author: Sharon W. Betters is a mother, grandmother, great-grandmother, pastor’s wife, and cofounder of MARKINC Ministries, where she is the Director of Resource Development. Sharon is the author of several books, including Treasures of Encouragement, Treasures in Darkness, and co-author with Susan Hunt of Aging with Grace. She is the co-host of the Help & Hope podcast and writes Daily Treasure, an online devotional.
Originally published Friday, 26 July 2024.
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