ANGUISH
I am speaking the truth in Christ - I am not lying; my conscience bears me witness in the Holy Spirit – that I have great sorrow and unceasing anguish in my heart. Romans 9:1-2
Anguish is not a word to throw around carelessly. Used too much by someone who loves drama, this person finds themselves in a position like the man who cried ‘wolf’ too many times. When he really did encounter the wolf, no one believed him so help never came. Words like anguish should be used sparingly.
Anguish is to be severely broken. A cry of anguish is a wailing cry. The posture of anguish is to be bent over, cut in half by forces of pain. Paul is experiencing anguish over the spiritual condition of his nation, the Jewish people. They have been given it all; God’s favor, God’s glory on Mt. Sinai, God’s covenant, God’s law, the right of adoption to be God’s people, but when Jesus came, they threw Him away.
The strong anguish he feels comes from his own heart that has been steeped in the spirit of Jesus. Jesus once stood on the hill outside Jerusalem and wept over the spiritual condition of the same group of people, His people. To be like Jesus is to feel as He did over the lost.
“Conscience bears me witness” means that his heart has been quickened, illuminated, and under the direction influence of the Holy Spirit. I am challenged by the reality that Paul gave the Holy Spirit permission to take over his mind and heart and cause him to feel how Jesus feels about the Jews. His feelings were captive to the feelings of Christ.
There are occasions when I will pray a similar prayer. “Rise up in me, Holy Spirit, to make me feel what you feel about this, and then to speak what you would speak.” Boy, does He answer. The effects are such that my feelings are intensified many times over. My words are not what I could ever come up with and they come out with force and persuasion or I just don’t have words to explain the depth of my heart.
So the question for me is this: Why am I not praying this prayer about everything? Why pray this every now and then? What would happen if I prayed often for the Holy Spirit to rise up in me and cause me to feel how HE feels about the church I attend, the Sunday School class I’m going to teach, and even my neighbors? Am I willing to invest my energy to feel the anguish that will come over me?
Paul knew the anguish of unbelief; both his own and that of the Jews. He remembered how long he murdered God’s chosen people because of spiritual blindness. As he recalls his history, anguish would be his companion as he recalls the torture he inflicted and the lives he took. As he looks into the faces of unbelieving Jews, perhaps he sees his own face. Humility is a sweet companion.
I’m so serious. Take over my heart today. Amen
For more from Christine Wyrtzen and Jaime Wyrtzen Lauze, please visit www.daughtersofpromise.org
Originally published Wednesday, 26 June 2024.
SHARE
