Why Jesus Cares About Your Sexual Shame
DR. JULI SLATTERY
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“When Jesus saw him lying there and learned that he had been in this condition for a long time, he asked him, ‘Do you want to get well?’” John 5:6 (NIV)
I walked into a room and thought, Everyone knows.
Sexual brokenness often brings a powerful sense of shame. We don’t know where to run with our wounds, questions, burdens and guilt. No one talks about it, making us feel even more isolated. Does God see? Does He care?
In 2012, God called me to start a ministry called Authentic Intimacy. As a Christian psychologist, I was familiar with questions women ask about sexuality, shame and longings. Yet the Lord opened my heart to see the women around me in a new way. Many of them also carried unasked questions and unspoken shame around sexuality. Married, unmarried, young, old — God’s women were suffering.
Numerous Christian women are trapped in the bondage of sexual sin and shame. They have seen the beautiful gift of sexuality tainted in some way by lust, assault, legalism, betrayal, or exposure to sexual experiences and images their brains and hearts could not process. This captivity can be so suffocating that we wonder if God truly loves us. Can you and I ever be free?
On the outside, you might look put together. No one may guess that you regularly battle temptations or stray outside the will of God for you in this area. If this is you, I want to promise you three things:
- You are not alone.
- God sees you.
- His forgiveness, redemption and freedom are for you!
But, friend, you will never find freedom in secret. Freedom starts when we confess our sins to Jesus and then confide in a trusted companion or professional who can help us move toward healing.
Jesus once asked a man who needed healing, “Do you want to get well?” (John 5:6). What a strange question! Why would Jesus ask this? Who wouldn’t want to be healed?
Redemption happens when God’s power intersects with our desperation to experience redemption. Healing begins when we want it more than we want to protect our reputation. The proud religious leaders in the Bible also had brokenness, but their every encounter with Jesus was a pretense of perfection rather than a cry for freedom.
Imagine right now that you are encountering Jesus. He looks at you with piercing, compassionate eyes. He knows about your secrets, shame and struggle. He takes your face in His hands, asking, Daughter, do you want to be free?
In the Gospel accounts, Jesus often healed in an instant. But He also works over time, and for many of us, healing is a journey that begins with a decision to do whatever the Lord asks of us to find freedom.
You have lived long enough with secrets, shame and bondage. Will you start your freedom journey today?
Dear God, thank You for Your never-ending love and forgiveness that You have given me through Jesus’ death and resurrection. Give me faith to believe that You came to free me from my captivity to sexual sin and shame. Show me how to say “yes” to the freedom You’re offering me. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
OUR FAVORITE THINGS
To begin your freedom journey, we invite you to read Her Freedom Journey: A Guide Out of Porn and Shame to Authentic Intimacy by Dr. Juli Slattery and Dr. Joy Skarka.
ENGAGE
You may think you’re alone in your struggle to find freedom from sexual sin and shame, but that isn’t true. You don’t have to go through your freedom journey alone. At Authentic Intimacy, we offer Online Book Studies multiple times per year. Learn more about the next season of groups here.
FOR DEEPER STUDY
John 10:10, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full” (NIV).
How has the thief used sexual shame to steal, kill or destroy in your life? What is keeping you from the abundant life Jesus came to give you? This is a safe place — share your thoughts with us in the comments!
© 2024 by Dr. Juli Slattery. All rights reserved.
Proverbs 31 Ministries
P.O. Box 3189
Matthews, NC 28106
www.Proverbs31.org
Originally published Monday, 15 July 2024.
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