What We Don’t Trust, We Will Try To Control
LYSA TERKEURST
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“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” Matthew 6:34 (NIV)
Recently, I had the opportunity to visit the command center aboard a ship. Toward the end of the tour, the captain asked if I would like to sit in his seat. As I sat down, I couldn’t help but be amazed at all the skill and expertise necessary to safely run this vessel.
My friends took several pictures of me looking like I was in control. But it was an illusion. I didn’t have the knowledge or the experience to do anything helpful unless the captain instructed me.
Can you imagine if I’d asked the captain, who was fully capable and fully equipped, to entrust his ship into my fully incapable hands? I can verify, without hesitation, that me being in control of that ship would have been a risk no one wanted to take. It may have felt good to sit at the controls for a few minutes, but if I wanted to return home safely, I had to trust the captain.
In life, there are dangers only the ultimate Captain knows how to handle.
Trying to carry the weight of holding everything and everybody together is a role God never called us to play. And it’s taking a great toll on our peace.
Now, I want to slow down for a minute and acknowledge how tough it is to release control — because honestly our motivation isn’t just that we want to be in charge but that we want to be safe.
Sometimes I catch myself mentally running into the future, where I fear there is impending doom, and then trying to make choices today to steer away from trouble. Sometimes this is wise. But while it’s good to plan for the future, we don’t want to obsess over the future. We can control our choices today, but we cannot fully control the outcomes of tomorrow.
I don’t like that last sentence any more than you do.
But as I’ve been on a trust journey over the last couple of months, I’m learning how to acknowledge what may or may not happen in the future while choosing to live in today.
This is what I can control: making wise choices right now, knowing God is a good Captain.
This is what I can’t control: all that happens in the tomorrows to come. Jesus reminds us of this truth in Matthew 6:34: “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”
The only way I have found to stop myself from reaching for control is to recognize when I’m getting controlling. And in that moment of realization, I need to pause and begin surrendering to God what I can’t change:
- God, I’m surrendering this unexpected turn of events. Instead of panicking and missing Your provision, I’m going to look for Your provision that is here.
- God, I’m surrendering this tension with my friend. Instead of rushing to make judgments against her or myself, I’m going to let the Jesus in me talk to the Jesus in her through prayer before addressing this issue.
- God, I’m surrendering how sad I feel today. Instead of trying to numb out in unhealthy ways, I’m going to worship, listen to Your Truth, look for Your presence in nature, or process this with people who are biblically wise.
These prayers are my way of acknowledging that God leads and I follow. Now, please note that I used the word “surrendering,” which indicates I’m still in the process of doing this. I have in no way perfected this — but I am willing to practice it, and I hope you’ll join me.
God already knows how flawed our efforts will be, but any time we keep our hearts bent toward Him rather than pull away from Him, that’s good progress.
Heavenly Father, You know how I wrestle between trusting You versus taking control. I need Your guidance as I seek to surrender it all to You. I want to trade in the powerlessness of trying to control outcomes and people and gain the strength of surrender to You. I want to release my fears and replace them with a peaceful trust in You. I can't do this without You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
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Trying to control the uncontrollable breeds chaos. Surrendering to the only One in control produces peace. You don't have to identify as a “control freak” to struggle with control — debunk this myth and learn the sneaky ways control shows up in our thoughts and behaviors with Lysa TerKeurst’s FREE resource “Am I Trying To Control the Uncontrollable?” Sign up now!
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FOR DEEPER STUDY
Proverbs 16:1-3, “To humans belong the plans of the heart, but from the LORD comes the proper answer of the tongue. All a person’s ways seem pure to them, but motives are weighed by the LORD. Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and he will establish your plans” (NIV).
How are you encouraged to release control and move toward surrender today as you remember Jesus, the Captain, is watching over you?
We’d love to hear from you! Share your thoughts in the comments.
© 2024 by Lysa TerKeurst. All rights reserved.
Proverbs 31 Ministries
P.O. Box 3189
Matthews, NC 28106
www.Proverbs31.org
Originally published Thursday, 19 September 2024.
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