Girlfriends in God - May 1, 2007

May 1, 2007

How to Enjoy Your Family

Mary Southerland

Today’s truth

Proverbs 31:11-12; 30 (NIV) Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm. A woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

Friend to Friend

Family means different things to different people. What is a family? Well, I can tell you that it is not what it used to be. Family is no longer simple, but blended and complex. It has changed to include many different relationships of people who live together.

·         Couples with children

·         Couples with no children

·         Single women with children

·         Single men with children

·         Grandparents with children

·         Parents with grown children…left…come back home.

·         Close friends living together

·         Unrelated people living together

And they are all family! Family is a group of persons belonging to or forming a household. We’ve looked at what a family is, but more important is the question, “What is the purpose of family?” There are no perfect families! There never have been. However, the purpose of family is to illustrate the nature and character of God. In other words, family is the primary place we learn about God.

A Sunday school class of first-graders was asked to draw a picture of God. When the pastor stopped by to inspect their work, the children were happy to show him their drawings. One had drawn God in the form of a brightly colored rainbow. Another had drawn the face of an old man coming out of billowing clouds. And there was one drawing that looked a lot like Superman. But perhaps the best was the one proudly displayed by a girl who said, "I didn't know what God looked like exactly, so I drew my daddy!”

Family is important to God. He created it before He created the church and, as with each of His creations, He made a plan for it to succeed. At the heart of that plan is love! To be part of a family is to be loved. So the challenge before us today is how do we love our family?

I know we all want to be part of a family where we give and receive love. Proverbs 31 tells us how! This chapter, a portrait of a wife and mother, was painted by a King as the kind of woman his mother wanted her son to marry. It is a standard of excellence, not only for women, but for every member of every family. In the life of this woman, we find seven ways to love your family.

1. Build trust

Proverbs 31:11 tells us that “her husband has full confidence in her”. “Full confidence” literally means to trust, to take refuge in or to lean on. The Proverbs 31 woman spent a lifetime building trust. She trusted God and had a personal relationship with Him (verse 30) We cannot be trustworthy if we are not trusting, and if we don’t trust God, we cannot truly trust others. If we are not “taking refuge” or “leaning on” Jesus Christ, when others take refuge and lean on us, we will crumble and fall. Trust shatters fear!

Psalm 56:3… But when I am afraid, I will put my confidence in you. Yes, I will trust the promises of God. And since I am trusting him, what can mere man do to me? (NIV)

Trust is fragile and once broken, very hard to build again. When our son was a little boy, he constantly rode on the trusted shoulders of his dad, and loved it. Then, one day, at a church youth activity, one of the youth was playing around and punched Dan in the stomach. Dan was caught off guard and the youth hit him harder than he meant to. Dan doubled over and Jered tumbled down. The next time Dan tried to put Jered on his shoulders, Jered refused. It took months for Dan to earn Jered’s trust again. To enjoy our family, we must first trust God, which then enables us to build trust in our family. Our family needs to be able to trust us, no matter what, no land mines! There will be no joy in our homes if there is not an atmosphere of trust. Family is a “team” idea and nothing is more deadly to the success of a team than a lack of trust! Trust God and then build trust in your family. Tomorrow, we will explore other ways to enjoy your family. Don’t miss it!

Let’s pray

Father, thank you for the family You have given me. I want to love them like they need to be loved. Help me to build trust in them as I learn to trust You more. Lord, help me to be trustworthy and to the woman You want me to be in my family. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Now it’s your turn

Make a list of ways your family can trust and depend on you.

Identify any areas where you can build trust.

Have a family meeting to discuss what it means to be a team.

Constantly look for ways to foster the mindset that your family is a team.

More from the Girlfriends

Everywhere I look, splintered and broken families abound. Why? I believe that somewhere along the way, trust was broken. An affair…a betrayal…a forgotten vow. What is even more frightening is the casual approach to that broken trust. My friend, God is calling us to trust Him and then to build that trust in our family. Right now, no matter how many times you have failed, begin again. We are with you! For more on this subject, read Sharon’s book, Becoming the Woman of His Dreams.