“Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.” Ephesians 4:31
Resentment is a strong word, yet it carries much weight. Bitterness and resentment go hand-in-hand as they are synonymous with each other. Holding onto resentment against a person can cause lasting damage to us. As someone who has held resentment against others, I can share that this is not the life that God wants us to live. Through holding a heart of resentment, I have suffered much pain and suffering.
The first time I remember having resentment was when someone at school was mean to me. They had said many wicked things about me, which made me resent them with my entire heart. I wanted to get back at them and make them suffer in the same way I had suffered. Although this person treated me unfairly and was mean to me, they probably don’t even think about this day anymore.
I am the only one who is still looking back on this elementary school day with a heart of bitterness. Moving on from bitterness is difficult, and, at times, it feels impossible. What the person did to me was so terrible that I could never imagine not feeling negatively towards them. Even though what the person did was mean, wrong, and uncalled for, we must not allow resentment to continue to drain our hearts.
The person who hurt you may not even feel bad for what they did. This can cause more indignation to rise in your heart, but you have to allow these feelings to pass. If there is anything I have learned from therapy, it is the art of feeling a feeling and allowing it to pass. By not allowing our feelings to control us, it gives us much freedom to live the way God intended for us to live.
Replacing resentment with forgiveness is the first step. The person hurt you, but you must not allow them to hurt you any longer. Holding onto resentment will only cause you more unneeded pain. Choose to release all of this pain, anger, and hatred to God. Trust Him with these hard feelings and allow yourself to be freed from carrying this heavy burden.
The Apostle Paul tells us in Ephesians 4:31 that we must rid ourselves of bitterness, rage, anger, brawling, slander, and every form of malice. In order to truly die to ourselves and live for Christ, we have to let go of these sins. Resentment and bitterness will only eat us alive if we continue living in a way that condones these behaviors.
From Paul’s words in Ephesians 4:31, we can also ascertain that there seems to be an order of operations when it comes to progressing sin. What starts as bitterness can easily turn into rage, anger, brawling, slander, and every form of malice. Yet again, as someone who has been there, I can attest that my resentment has taken on the form of rage and anger. It is not something I’m proud of as I know how hurtful anger can get.
Not to mention that anger can cause physical problems, such as high blood pressure, anxiety, headaches, and an increased risk of cardiovascular diseases. Rather than following along with a heart of resentment, anger, and slander, it is time to turn to the Lord. He might not take all of the pain away right now, but give it over to Him today. He will bind up your wounds and give your heart the love, validation, and kindness it needs.
Choosing to continue on in resentment will only cause worse problems in the future. It is best to address the issue now and start moving forward in the healing process. All of your feelings are valid and valuable. The person who has caused resentment to grow in your bones doesn’t need to control your life anymore. Yes, they hurt you, but constantly revisiting the situation day after day only gives them the power to continue hurting you.
Let go of resentment and leave it behind. Watch it as it passes and tell it that you don’t need it anymore. All you need is the Lord, His grace, and His mercy. Extend forgiveness, grace, and love to the person who hurt you as well. In everything, do unto others as you would have them do to you (Matthew 7:12). Live the life God wants you to by leaving resentment in the past.
Let's Pray:
Dear Jesus, I’m having trouble letting go of resentment. Please help me get rid of all feelings of bitterness, anger, and rage against the people who have hurt me. Help me to forgive just as You forgave me. I trust You with every area of my life, and I know You will come to my side in this matter too. Please give me freedom from the resentment in my heart. Amen.
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Originally published Thursday, 16 May 2024.
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