“But Let Your Yes be yes and Your No be no.” Matthew 5:37
“You've got to fake it till you make it.” A fellow Christian told me this one day when she talked about the status of her heart. She had listened to a speaker at a women's event, and this person made this statement. She was going through a difficult time, but instead of being open and honest with others, she smiled and pretended everything was okay until her appearance matched her reality.
She then commented how much she loved that statement and how, every day, she had to fake it until she made it. I found this statement and fellow Christians embracing that type of life concerning. This person is someone I would label a people-pleaser, unable to say no for fear of what people will think of her.
People-pleasing is just cowardice in disguise. People who want to make everyone happy and not rock the boat are not being led by Jesus but by fear of their reputation. Jesus was far from a people-pleaser. He overturned tables in the temple, he called the Pharisees a brood of vipers, and he remained silent and chose not to defend himself when he was mocked during his crucifixion.
Many Christians will sweep problems under the rug and pretend like they don't exist in the name of grace and mercy. However, this is just cowardice in disguise. A person who doesn't want to talk openly and honestly about their feelings or actions is not growing as a person.
As Christians, we need to be people who love others, both in encouraging and correcting others’ actions. People who don't have others willing to correct their actions will never grow as a people. They will be constantly stuck in a spiritual rut, unable to progress in their spiritual health. Every person needs a Nathan, a prophet who will come into their lives and speak the truth to them. This is in the hopes that they will change and repent of their sinful ways.
The above verse tells us that we must be open and honest in responding to others. We should not vacillate between people-pleasing and not rocking the boat. Instead, when we say yes, we should mean yes. When we say no, we should mean no. We should not say one thing and do another. This is called hypocrisy. For example, when someone claims to be a Christian, puts on a smile and pretends everything in their spiritual life is great, then goes and talks about someone behind their back, that's hypocrisy at its finest.
Christians not only have to be people known for love, but they also need to be known for their integrity. Part of being people of integrity is to say when everything is not okay. Being honest and open with others, even risking rejection, is the accurate measure of a Christian. This is deceitful not only in their actions but also in their words. When a person is open and honest and says what they mean, it demonstrates that they know a God who claims to be the way, the truth, and the life. If we claim to know the way, the truth, and the life, then the truth should be what's coming out of our mouths.
Do you fall into the trap of people-pleasing? Do you sweep things under the rug and pretend they don't exist just for peacemaking? Ignoring problems does not manufacture authentic peace. It actually does just the opposite. It gives the illusion of peace that will be rocked when the truth is exposed.
Let's pray:
Father, let us be people who make peace and keep it. Let us be open and honest with others throughout our communication. Help us not to sweep things under the rug because we are too afraid of the outcome. Let us not worry more about others’ perceptions of us. Instead, let us be people who are known for telling the truth and following the truth. Amen.
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Related Resource: Anxiety: Practical Steps for Healing in Christ
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Originally published Friday, 14 March 2025.
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