When Holidays Feel Miserable

As we enter the holiday season, iBelieve hopes you enjoy an early Christimas devotional from special guest writer Ann Swindell. 

“While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, and [Mary] gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no guest room available for them.” Luke 2:6-7 (NIV)

I handed my son his own large bowl to hug on the couch, even as I reached for my own. My daughter was a heap on the other sofa. Miserable. It was three days before Christmas and nothing about this holiday season was going as I had hoped.

I’ve always loved Christmas, and as a mom, I’ve enjoyed experiencing the beauty and wonder of the holiday season through the eyes and hearts of my children. And, so, sprinkled in between the end of the school semester and making gingerbread houses, I planned our December calendar with the precision of a general, marking down dates for my daughter’s practices in the children’s Christmas choir at our church, the preschool Christmas party for my son, attending The Sound of Music at the local theatre, and attending our Christmas Eve service.  

In my mind, it was going to be a wonderful, beautiful month.

In reality, over the course of several weeks, we missed out on every single thing I had planned, due to various sicknesses that came and went at the most inopportune times. My daughter practiced in the Christmas choir but was too sick to actually sing in the performance. My son had a raging fever the morning of his preschool Christmas party. The Sound of Music was foiled by more sickness, and the three of us missed the Christmas Eve service. 

Miserable.

I had such high hopes for our Christmas season as a family. What I felt, instead, was disappointment—and the lingering feeling of being cheated of the Christmas I wanted, perhaps even the Christmas I deserved.

As I have considered Christmas in the Bible, I’ve studied the life of Mary, and I wonder if Mary was cheated of the Christmas she wanted, too. The first Christmas, for her, meant giving birth on the floor of a stable, in a foreign town, without her family nearby. Her Christmas was messy and unexpected and uncomfortable (see Luke 2). 

And Jesus gave up his glory to come and join us in the dirt and mess of our humanity. In his love and grace and mercy, his becoming Emmanuel was what he wanted, but it wasn’t what he deserved. He deserved all of the treasures and glory this earth can offer—and yet he took the route of humility and service:

“Who, being in very nature God,
    did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage;
rather, he made himself nothing
    by taking the very nature of a servant,
    being made in human likeness.
And being found in appearance as a man,
    he humbled himself
    by becoming obedient to death—
even death on a cross!” (Philippians 2:6-8)

Jesus and Mary model that a miserable Christmas doesn’t mean a bad Christmas. In fact, perhaps a miserable Christmas points us to the true beauty and cost of that first Christmas—and what that night in the stable was leading to: the cross, on which Jesus died for sinners.

Even after all the frustration and tears over the events we missed that December, Christmas Day still came, as it always does. We were well enough (and fever-free enough) by the afternoon to see family, open presents, and read the Christmas story together. And as I sat with the people I loved the most, watching my children as they hugged their cousins, I was reminded that this was what I needed, more than the lights and the parties, more than the plays and the songs: a day full of love, with Jesus as the centerpiece of the holiday. 

Do I wish that December had gone differently? Of course. But Christmas was still Christmas, and Jesus was still Savior, and the misery of the weeks before that holiday made me even more grateful for the ability to gather and celebrate the hope of God with us. And maybe even just a bit like Mary, I was able to treasure those things in my heart and let the hope of Christ Jesus outshine everything that came beforehand—and focus on the fact that one miserable Christmas for Jesus made every beautiful Christmas possible for us.

Heavenly Father, thank you for sending your Son into the messy and difficult reality of our world on that first Christmas. Thank you, Jesus, for giving up your heavenly glory and humbling yourself to become Emmanuel—to save all who come to you in repentance and faith. During this holiday season, help me keep You at the center of these days, finding my joy not in what gets accomplished, but in knowing You as my Savior. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Photo Credit: ©Unsplash/Kelly Sikkema

Related Resource: Jesus Calling - Stories of Faith

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Inspired by Sarah Young's classic devotional book, the Jesus Calling podcast has brought encouragement and peace to millions. New episodes drop every Thursday! Listen today on LifeAudio.com or wherever you find your podcasts.