I’ve always had to be strong, not because I wanted to be strong. In fact, sometimes, I’ve really wanted to be weak. I’ve really wanted to be able to depend on someone other than myself; I’ve wanted to let someone else lead the way, but nobody ever seemed to volunteer. It seems that everyone else usually wants someone else to lead, and they want someone else to be responsible for whatever negative consequences might result from making big decisions. I didn’t have parents telling me what was right and what was wrong, telling me to go to church, telling me to go to college, telling me what to do. Instead of feeling as “lucky” as some of my friends who happened to have parents who told them all those things, I actually felt “angry” for lack of guidance. As I grew up, I finally realized that I didn’t have the right to be mad; I had a choice to make whether I wanted to be mad or not. I eventually decided that I would not be mad. Who was I going to be mad at anyway? God? I definitely didn’t have the right to be mad at God. For all things work together for those that love God, and I knew that since I loved God, He would work it all out for me.
At the age of 27, having done so many of the important things in life in the reverse order from what God would have wanted me to do them in, I’m learning that God can still work out my life by living His life through me. I’m asking Him to do it daily… because whenever I let go of God and let me do the “working,” things never work out at all. I’ve got a lot on my plate right now. I know, don’t we all - right? I bet if we could physically talk right now, and if I just let you do the talking, you would have more than three things to say that would bring tears to your eyes, such as, your financial hardship, your responsibilities as a parent and how they are just overwhelming, a heartache regarding your own parent or parents, your best friend, your sister, your brother… it goes on and on because the pain and the struggles in this life will continue to go on and on until we are gone. That’s why God said for us to cast all our cares upon Him, for He alone can carry our burdens and He alone can heal our hurts – He alone. He doesn’t need our help.
Isn’t it almost humorous to think about the fact that we actually think that God needs our help? And so we keep carrying the burdens that are probably “too monumental” for our Master – as if anything is too monumental for the creator of all things. It’s hard though to be human, and it’s hard to come to the understanding that we are either all standing on the rock of salvation or we are standing on the rock of “ourselves.” We must work each day at remembering that God can work it out for the good of those who love Him. But may I just say that with a job, a special blessing of a son who has special needs, a husband and daughter, college, and the demands of life, I have come to a definite point of depending upon the Lord because I cannot do anything apart from God. I learned that the hard way! I used to get so frustrated at “people” because no one else wanted to lead the way; but once I quit waiting for just any old volunteer, I was able to hear God quietly say, “I picked you, not to lead but to follow, so follow Me. You won’t see anyone else show up, nobody else wants the responsibility. Nobody else wants to have to do what I’ve asked you to do. No one else wants to pay the price it will take to do what I’ve asked of you. There’s a reason that nobody else is volunteering to take your spot; I reserved it for you. So, yes, you didn’t have “parents who told you to go to church, to go to college, but you also might never have learned the valuable lessons that you’ve learned in your life; you may never have met Me either. So, you have had some strife, but it was so that you would gain eternal life. This earthly life will pass away, but I wanted you to be able to hear what I had to say. Nobody is going to volunteer for the role I have asked you to play; it’s yours and yours alone, but don’t worry, I, YOUR LOVING FATHER, WILL LEAD THE WAY.”
It’s still hard, and some days I feel as if I’m just “forging through life’s circumstances,” but the only other alternative is to quit, and what do you do when you quit? You just sit. I’m not going to just sit, and do nothing. I’m going to forge ahead, following my Heavenly Father, because He can help me “go to church and go to college.” So that’s where I am. I am making the decision to not spend time on sadness about things that I never had, I’m simply asking my Dad, my Heavenly Father, to lead the way.
LEAD THE WAY
Who will lead the way
I quietly
Did say
Who will take
The blame
If this venture doesn’t lead
To fortune and fame
Who will rise above
The depths of despair
And reach out and help someone else
Even when their own life
Hasn’t been fair
Who will volunteer
Who will take this load from me
If someone would – just someone –
So much better would I be
Days and days I waited
Years and years went by
And yet again no volunteer
Quietly ever sighed
Not a stirring
Not a hand
No one
Would take a stand
And as my shoulders shrank
And tears began to brim
Inside my Jesus answered
Look, just look to Him
and I raised my head and glanced
up to the ceiling above
and I did not see my God
or a peaceful descending dove
in fact I did not see anything
or anyone at all
but I heard the answer I needed
right before my fall
The son of God heard me
He lifted me upon a rock
MY time had come to volunteer
I heard the ticking of a clock
No one else would take on
My predestined things to do
But leading the way for me
Was someone who had already worn
My shoes
He will lead the way
God quietly
Did say
Warrior Moms, no matter where you are in life, know that your Heavenly Father leads the way; He goes before you carving paths of Righteousness!
Love,
Kristina
For the Lamb at the center of the throne will be their shepherd; he will lead them to springs of living water. And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes.
Revelation 7:17
Kristina Seymour loves to encourage and equip women through the Word and through community. She is the author of The Warrior Mom Handbook, The Warrior Mom Leadership Manual, and The Warrior Wife Handbook; they are available at Amazon.com. Kristina's Bible studies are for women who desire to live by faith in the midst of their everyday lives. She has learned that women can't survive on caffeine and animal crackers alone; women in the Word and in community are united and able to stand firm. To learn more about Kristina, please visit her website, https://kristinaseymour.com/. God loves to share His story of love and grace through us all, and Kristina believes that everyone has a story to tell.
Originally published Tuesday, 11 September 2018.
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