The church isn’t perfect—clearly. It’s easy for imperfect people to get behind a pulpit, in front of a crowd, and say things unclearly. The message can have the best intentions and still fall short thanks to a lack of backstory and insight. Whether it’s purity, evangelizing, or honoring the most basic commands of the Sabbath, there are quite a few conflicting messages that leave congregations in the gray.
Here are three church messages that, though well-meant, leave Christians going, “Wait, so I’m supposed to do what?”
1. Virginity and Virtue Can’t Not Co-exist
Over and over, as both an avid church-goer and Christian school kid, I was taught that sex was something you didn’t talk about. Translated, sex was something bad. After all, we aren’t supposed to talk about inappropriate things, so if we aren’t supposed to talk about sex then sex must be bad...
In turn, most youth are taught that their virginity is their everything, their sole sense of virtue, and meanwhile, the two can’t not co-exist. They require each other to remain valid and true. So the second you lose your virginity, you lose your virtue—something that you seemingly can’t get back.
Personally, I was terrified of losing my virginity, so I hung on to mine until I got married. I did the right thing, but I didn’t notice the damage this concept of virginity and virtue left until I felt guilty having sex as a married woman.
Sex had been so ingrained into my head and heart as some terrible thing that would rob my virtue that I still avoided it within the parameters that God meant for it to be enjoyed, celebrated, and held as a symbol of worship.
Yes, the Bible clearly says to hang onto your virginity until you’re married. There are so many spiritual, psychological, emotional, and physical reasons that God mapped out sex within the confines of marriage, but His grace isn’t limited to our failures. Our identity through Him can’t be snatched away by sin He already conquered... even the big, bad sin of premarital sex.
(If you lost your virginity prior to a wedding ring, you haven’t lost it all. Forgiveness is a free-flowing fountain from a good, good God. You can find forgiveness and freedom. You can breathe.)
Photo Credit: © Zbynek Pospisil
2. The field is ripe for harvest.
Perhaps I’m a little too straightforward on this one, but church leaders sometimes use this Scriptural reference as poetic dust to sprinkle over an empty backstory, hoping magic alone will bring the characters to life.
In the Gospels, Jesus talks about the field that is ripe for harvest, a world that is ready for believers to gather and welcome converts into the fold. Here, believers are not only encouraged, but challenged to glean others for the same self-denying purpose.
But we neglect the backstory. We jump to the conclusion that the wheat is magically ready day one, that it’s already been brought to life. The wheat hasn’t been brought to life; it’s ready to rise from the dead.
It’s our job to do more than hand over a church bumper sticker or fist bump them with an “It’s good to see you, brother,” in the grocery store. We can’t treat nonbelievers with a surface-level, nice feel that requires no sacrifice of comfort levels. Instead, we are called to present the gospel—both the love and justice—so the Spirit can produce a crop that’s alive and anxious to grow.
We are called to love these people, this wheat, in a way that makes love and justice synonymously inviting. When we honor truth by living it out, the field becomes ripe for harvest.
When the field is ripe for harvest, you show up with empty hands, ask God to fill them, and see how plentiful the reaping is.
Photo Credit: © Getty Images/mycola
3. My cup runneth over.
I know this isn’t just a Christian catchphrase or a preacher-made message; it’s true Scripture. It’s David praising God in song, divulging this beautiful reality he’s stepped into: though he faces valleys of all things not fun, like shadows and death, God ensures David will not only be filled, but that his cup will run over.
Most of us love the idea of abundance, of an overflow. We like the BOGO on candles and pillows at TJ Maxx. Regardless of dietary willpower, we prefer the double scoop of chocolate ice cream with extra syrup. We like more, both in the physical and spiritual realms.
As Christians, we are all about more joy and more peace. We truly love more of God’s presence. But today’s church culture has slowly, often unintentionally, allowed service to drain us and leave our cups bone dry—I know this from personal experience.
We’ve been encouraged to serve, serve, serve, which is a beautiful, healing mandate from God, but we’re never taught how to truly honor the Sabbath: how to rest, how to step away from meetings and social media to enjoy family, how to replenish the soul with simple, God-honoring activities like reading, getting outdoors, etc.
Often, we show up at church on Sunday tired from volunteering at the church carnival Saturday and the youth group lockdown Friday night, and we wonder why we quietly don’t believe that our cup runneth over. When we’re operating on empty, the truth is: our cup doth not run over.
How do we replenish this tumbler desert? We serve, serve, serve, but we also rest, rest, rest. Both sacrifice and rest can coexist in a believer’s life, and both must exist in order to truly experience a cup that runneth over on a consistent basis.
The conflicting theses shouldn’t conjure up a sense of division amongst us, but rather, they should compel us to ask hard questions, pray tough prayers, and gracefully seek counsel from one another as believers.
Today, we’re divided enough. Let’s not let misunderstandings, with good intentions, push us on different sides. Rather, let’s allow misunderstandings to cultivate conversations that glorify God and welcome others into the Truth.
Photo Credit: © Getty Images/Nina Belova
Originally published Thursday, 08 July 2021.
