Gone are the days when we find our impact right where we are. In our homes, churches, and communities. Women are more unhappy and unsettled than they have ever been, why? Because there is nothing that satisfies.
This may be one of the toughest pieces I have ever written, but I stand by it. There is a great wave that has been rising for years, the wave of women in Christian culture who desire to take to the stage to speak and write books. It has become the popular place for Christian women to be and many believe they have been called. The question is, called by whom?
We are being conditioned that the only way to make an impact as a woman is to have a large following online, a stage to stand on, or words to write.
Gone are the days when we find our impact right where we are. In our homes, churches, and communities. Women are more unhappy and unsettled than they have ever been, why? Because there is nothing that satisfies. We all desire to be seen, wanted, and we desire to do great things. Nothing is wrong with those things, but when they become our motivation, it has gone too far.
Everywhere we turn there are women's ministry events, speakers, books to help you - these are not bad things; I do these things.
The problem arises in the false messages peddled to women by women.
The message has become, “you are enough,” “hustle harder,” “take what is yours.” Even worse than that, the messages are tainted by incorrectly using Scripture. It is a perilous false gospel. We don’t need messages that point us to hope in ourselves. We need someone to point us to freedom in Christ.
As women, we often jump on any bandwagon that is packaged well and sounds good. It’s not men who jump on the latest fitness craze, dive deep into “mommy wars,” or follow the weird latest fashion trends (hello, stirrup pants and bodysuits). As women, we also tend to be more passionate and outspoken about the things we love or feel strongly about, and we are unapologetic about it. We are a fierce creation; let’s not pretend otherwise.
However, there is a gaping wound in the hearts of women that has been left there by the culture. Nothing we do is good enough, and there lies the struggle, there lies the vulnerability.
Women who stay home with their children are defined as weak. Women who choose the workplace are defined as women who are not invested in the lives of their children. Women who choose singleness are viewed as lonely, while women who choose to get married were always dependent on a man. Women who are overweight are not beautiful by the world's standards, and women who are too skinny don’t eat enough. You see? Nothing is good enough and it has wounded us.
In order to fix the wound, we latch onto what sounds good and what feels good. We work hard, do more, and break ourselves in the process. We are not content. We push and we push and believe the lies that we are enough and can do all the things.
We are not enough, and we cannot do all the things. We are desperate women in need of Christ.
But that’s not the message we are hearing. The enemy is playing at our wounds and using other women and a false gospel to do it. These are hard words, but these are even harder days we are living in. The walls are closing in on truth.
So what do we do? How do we guard our hearts and recognize a false gospel when it comes? What should our response be when we see it?
Know the Word. There is no greater defense than the truth. We cannot know what is false if we do not first know what is true. Meanwhile, we cannot rely on others to spoon-feed us Scripture; we must be active, willing students of the Word. When we hear a speaker or teacher, or when we read words in a book, and we are not sure, take it to Scripture.
Ask questions. Those who are teaching you Scripture are held to a higher standard. Scripture tells us they will be judged more harshly by God. Their job is a serious one. They should be held accountable by those they teach and speak to. If you are unsure of what was spoken, or if it does not line up with Scripture, it is essential to ask questions as their sister or brother in Christ. We are commanded in Scripture to hold one another accountable.
Don’t be afraid to push back. Just because every woman follows a certain teacher doesn’t mean you should. Just because she has published a book doesn’t mean she is infallible. If her message causes you more striving and less peace in Christ, it is time to move on. If her message takes Scripture out of context, it's time to leave. If she points to things that are not biblical, she is a false teacher. Just because it sounds good does not make it right.
Be alert. Whether you are attending a women’s event or scrolling through social media, be alert to what people are saying. Who are they sharing and following? Who is influencing them? What conversations are they starting online? All of these things will help you know where they stand with Christ and with Scripture. Are they making a mockery of the cross? Are they saying one thing and living another? This isn’t passing judgment; this is knowing what they are speaking into your life.
Other proactive ways to recognize and thwart false doctrine include:
Seek accountability. Maybe you are unsure of some teaching you heard or something you read, so take it to a spiritually mature sister in Christ. Take it to your pastor or women’s leader. Ask their thoughts on the subject; ask what their response would be. This is what they are there for. I have done it myself when I have come across something that left my heart unsettled. Two heads are better than one when we are unclear on the answer to our questions.
Pray. When in doubt, pray. Pray even when you don’t know what to ask or how to ask. Pray about what you have heard or read. Ask God for guidance on the matter; ask Him to bring someone into your life who can disciple you.
Be in a discipleship relationship. One of the best ways to protect our hearts and minds outside of God’s Word is to be discipled by a spiritually mature believer. This is a person who can lead and help you in the right direction. They have led in the way they live and will be a sounding board when you are unsure. In a discipleship relationship, they will always point you to the truth of the Gospel above all else.
I wish there was a magic formula that could easily solve this place we find ourselves in. I long for the days when we as women can be content in our homes, churches, and communities. I desire so much to protect my sisters in Christ from the enemy and the lies he loves to peddle our way. These days won’t get easier. In fact, it may become even harder to discern false teaching, but if we do these things we will be better equipped, whatever comes.
Photo Credit: ©SWN
Michelle Rabon is helping women be disciples who make disciples. Michelle has her MDiv in Ministry to Women from Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary and is currently serving as Women’s Ministry Director in her local church. She is also the author of Holy Mess. When she is not writing or teaching, she enjoys reading, being close to the ocean, and drinking a lot of coffee. You can connect with Michelle at www.michellerabon.com
