We have lost our ability to have intellectual conversations with one another; we can’t even have a healthy debate and disagree on where we stand. Social media broke us as humans.
There is an exodus taking place; no seas are parting or anything, but a change is happening.
The strain is pulling and wrenching us in a way never known before now.
There is an awakening to a monster that has been trampling us for years, and we are only just now beginning to see its footprints and feel it bearing down on us.
For most of us, we didn’t grow up in an information-driven world. We had to go to the library for research. We had to read books or use a card catalog in wooden drawers. We had to type on computers with only a word document and solitaire.
I wouldn’t consider myself old; I am in my mid-thirties but still remember life without cell phones, with one family computer and Duck Hunt on the Nintendo. I remember the days of not having constant opinions and information in my face twenty-four hours a day.
My heart was lighter in the days before technology.
It has been incredible to watch how quickly technology has changed in the last thirty years. The difference is mind-blowing. Granted, the advancements are not all bad things, some are great actually; modern medicine, online research, online shopping, and my personal favorite: grocery delivery.
However, there is a downfall to the technology revolution: social media.
What was meant to connect has actually caused disconnect and damage. It has increased the disease of comparison, harassment, exploitation, and misinformation on every front. I have seen the damage it can do. Until a few years ago, social media was the place to see what your high school friends were up to, keep grandma happy by posting a picture, or overshare about what you had for breakfast, but all that has changed.
Social media has become more about ideologies than connection.
I remember the days when MySpace became all anyone could talk about. When taking hours to fix your background and add music to your page was the coolest thing you had ever seen.
It was something new, but we never knew where social media would take us less than two decades later. No longer is it about cute backgrounds, your favorite song, or pictures with your friends. It is all about oversharing, cyberbullying, and an influx of opinions.
We have lost our ability to have intellectual conversations with one another; we can’t even have a healthy debate and disagree on where we stand. Social media broke us as humans.
Anytime I begin to talk about breaking up with the online world, I get the same comments, “Don’t stay gone too long; people need good things online.” That’s a lot of pressure, thanks. Am I willing to sacrifice my peace to share a few words online? If they aren’t guilting me in the comments, I am doing it to myself, “Michelle, you can’t run a business without social media.”
What do we do when the guilt comes to call? How do we break up with this addiction? How do we shut it down once and for all? Should we walk away or hang around and see what happens?
1. Is It Joyful?
As Marie Kondo would say, “Does it bring you joy?” I feel sure the answer is no for most of us. Social media no longer brings anyone joy. I don’t care to read the endless ranting, posed photos, or the constant pleas to buy more stuff. Just as Marie Kondo suggests, it's time to throw it out if it doesn't bring us joy.
2. Is It Wasteful?
Are you wasting time? Does the social media scroll sneakily consume you when you are bored or feel like you need to be doing something besides sitting in the quiet? Does it take your attention when you are around your family or friends? I promise nothing on your phone is more important than the people in front of you.
3. Does It Induce Comparison?
Do you spend time comparing? We have all done it; we look at the post of the beautifully posed living room and wish we had something that nice. We compare our lived-in mess to a staged photograph. We stop being content with what we have when we spend our lives wishing we had the posed perfection on our screens.
4. Does It Replace In-Person Conversations?
Where are most of your conversations taking place? If your answer is on your phone, then I will just leave that for you to think about.
5. Is It Stressful?
Does coming up with content bring you stress? If the pressure to constantly share is at the forefront of your mind, it might be time to rethink your relationship with social media. Constantly sharing with people online shouldn’t be the priority of our days.
6. Is It Controlling?
Do you look for sharable moments? I have watched women be strategic in where they go and what they do just so they can take a photo to share online. If our concern is more about the photo than enjoying the moment in our lives, we are idolizing social media and jeopardizing true memories. We are allowing a phone to control where we go, what we do, and how we fit people into our day.
7. Does It Steal Memories?
Are you missing out on the moment? Just like the above question, we look for the moment and forget to live our lives. We don’t savor experiences because we want a perfect picture. Even worse, sometimes we get so caught up in the lives others are living that we fail to live our own.
8. Does It Damage Yor Mental Health?
Does being online cause heightened anxiety or depression? Many who battle with anxiety or depression also have higher levels of both after using social media. For example, those who struggle with anxiety deal with a greater sense of panic when bombarded with information. Turning off the flow of information can greatly help those who struggle mentally.
If you answered yes to more than one of these questions, it's time to put down the phone and have an honest conversation with the Holy Spirit. Allow Him to show you how to approach social media. Remember, it is okay to delete your account, delete the apps, and let go of social media. The world, your world, will keep spinning, even if you aren't gathering followers or creating hashtags. However, if you just can’t bear to part ways with the social media world, or it is vital to your career, set up strong boundaries and time limits. Over time, you will find that you don’t need or want to be online like you once did.
Make space for God to speak into this area of your life. From there, begin creating boundaries and start the process of walking away from social media's control for good.
Social media doesn’t have to dictate our lives.
We can have real conversations face to face; we can text photos to family and friends. No one needs to know what we ate for breakfast, and our businesses can run without social media. Don't forget: we can enjoy the moments of our lives without looking for a moment to post online.
Photo Credit: ©Pexels/Andrea Piacquadio
Michelle Rabon is helping women be disciples who make disciples. Michelle has her MDiv in Ministry to Women from Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary and is currently serving as Women’s Ministry Director in her local church. She is also the author of Holy Mess. When she is not writing or teaching, she enjoys reading, being close to the ocean, and drinking a lot of coffee. You can connect with Michelle at www.michellerabon.com
