It turns out that the God who created me knows when I'm suffering because He endured the greatest suffering ever known to mankind.
For many individuals, feelings of depression far exceed the occasional blues. In between bursts of low moods and apathetic feelings, it can be challenging to live life or simply put one foot in front of the other. For instance, daily tasks like breathing or showering feel like colossal weights tied around our necks, dragging us out to sea.
Over the years, I've tried everything from Christian yoga and exercise to meditating, reading Scripture, and going for long walks. The techniques that work one day sometimes don't work the next.
But in my bouts with this demon, I have found three things that are effective in helping me cope.
While no cure-all exists, it's my prayer that these strategies will be useful to you in your time of need:
1. Talk to Someone
I know it sounds cliche. And I know you've probably been told this before. But one of the worst things that those who suffer from depression can do is isolate themselves (myself included). Depression feeds us the lie that no one else gets it. You're alone. You're the only person suffering. It’s always going to be this way. And no one on the planet cares. But that's absolutely the furthest thing from the truth!
There have been times in my battle with anxiety and depression when I believed these lies. I've locked my doors, bottled my feelings, and thrown away the key. I thought that the only person who knew I was suffering was me.
It turns out that the God who created me knows when I'm suffering because He endured the greatest suffering ever known to mankind. It also turns out that there are many others, just like me, lost at sea without a buoy. But we can't expect someone to throw us a lifesaver if we don't scream for help, flop our hands, and make noise amid the waves. We can't expect others to care if they don't even know.
I know it might seem scary, but one of the best things you can do to cope with depression is to talk to someone who cares. And when you chat with them, make sure you are open and honest but leave room for them to offer their stories and encouragement too. Let this be a two-way conversation!
God is always one prayer away. We can access Him anytime, anywhere. But He also wants you to talk to those around you.
Expressing your concerns and feelings to someone who cares not only lightens the burden weighing down your shoulders but it helps us feel less alone. There is a reason that Galatians 6:2 tells us to bear each other's burdens, and in doing so, we fulfill the Law of Christ.
We were never meant to do this life alone. And especially for those of us who suffer mentally, connecting with a good community can make all the difference.
2. Get out in Nature
The second method to cope with depression is not always easy or weather appropriate, but it does wonders for the body, mind, and soul. Out of the four seasons, I know that I am most likely to get depressed in the winter and least likely to get depressed in the summer.
As someone who loves the sunshine, it's no surprise that the vitamin D we receive from the sun does more for us than we realize. Just getting outside for 15-30 minutes a day, even on cold days when we can't see the sun, can improve our mental and emotional well-being.
Research shows that a brisk walk in the forest or anywhere outside your home helps you focus on something beyond yourself and your circumstances. When we struggle with depression, the hole can feel wide and deep. It can be challenging to see anything in or beyond the bleak darkness. But by placing ourselves in new lighting, literally, we get adjusted to a new vision.
Getting out in nature in the spring and summer is easy for me. Besides allergies and sneezing my head off, I love the warm air, blooming flowers, and blazing sunlight that sets forth my path. In the fall and winter, however, it can be much more difficult to get beyond the trek of my treadmill.
One thing that has really helped me to get outside in nature is making plans to meet up with friends (outside), and telling those close to me (like my fiance), that they need to encourage me to get some fresh air. While there will be times that getting outside is just impossible (like the freezing cold or mountains of snow), know that even just a few minutes can help us to re-center, reflect, and re-align.
3. Do the Opposite of What You Feel Like Doing
The final tip that helps me to cope with depression is probably the hardest and is much easier said than done.
When you feel like staying in bed, hanging your head low, and doing nothing, feel those feelings. Cry. Shout. Journal them in a notebook. Punch a punching bag. And do whatever it is that you need to do. But don't stay there.
Even if you don't want to, do the opposite of what you feel like doing. Want to stay in bed, go nowhere, and see nobody? Well, then, dress up. Take a shower. Do something for yourself. Make coffee plans with a friend. Take care of yourself—whatever and however that looks like.
One common misconception about caring for one's mental health is that self-care is selfish. This statement couldn't be further from the truth.
In Luke 6:27-28, Jesus tells us to love our enemies as we love ourselves. While this isn't a post about loving our enemies, it's a post about loving and caring for ourselves well. This verse makes the assumption that we already love ourselves. Otherwise, why would Jesus tell us to love our enemies? He expects us to show them the highest form of love, assuming that we have that highest form of love for ourselves.
Personally, I struggle to love myself. It's so much easier to look in the mirror and tear myself down piece by piece, limb by limb. Especially when I'm struggling with anxiety and depression. But by caring for myself with the rich resources He's blessed me with, I am learning to love myself well.
Sweet friend, it's my prayer that by using these three coping skills, you will be one step closer to days full of joy, peace, and comfort. I'm not the first one to tell you that mental health struggles won't disappear overnight, no matter how much we try. And these tips are just a few of hundreds that exist. But by taking action steps and placing one foot in front of the other, we can take steps towards healing.
It will take time.
It's a process.
It's not a magic pill to swallow that will make it all go away.
It may take even more time.
But please know you're never alone in this journey.
I am right here beside you.
Also fighting.
Also placing one foot in front of the other.
And refusing to succumb to the feelings I feel inside.
I am with you.
The Lord is with you, sweet friend.
He's with us in our battles.
He will never leave us or forsake us.
He's an ever-present hope that is forever on our side.
Agape, Amber
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