If you’re like me, you are well-acquainted with feeling frustrated, but it's never good to feel frustrated because it can lead to anger. Anger is a normal human emotion, but we never need to act on this volatile feeling. We can cause a lot of damage to others in our words when we are irate, and we will regret what we said to them later. This is why it's pertinent we deal with our frustration before it turns into anger.
Here are five healthy ways to deal with frustration and mitigate rage:
One way you can deal with frustration is to take a breather. When we get frustrated, our heart rate often increases, and we might feel hot in the face. At any point you recognize you are growing frustrated or irritated, pause and step outside to collect yourself. Practice some breathing techniques to get your breathing back to normal rate and steady your heart rate. By calming your nervous system, you will find that you can think more clearly.
If you are in a crowded place, it might be harder to take a breather. Being at work, school, or surrounded by family members can make it difficult to leave and find a quiet place to let your anger quietly subside. If this is the case, try to find a room with little to no people and see if that will help you calm down. If there is no possible way to step out and take a breather, focus on your breathing and distract yourself from what is causing your frustration. If it's something someone said, remind yourself that person doesn't define you and can't control how you react. Don't let anything they say sink into you.
A second way to deal with frustration is to remove yourself from the situation. Taking a breather is very closely related to removing yourself from the situation; however, there are times even after taking a breather that it's best not to return to the situation. Sometimes you simply need to leave the situation and go home. Even family members, friends, and loved ones can cause us to get frustrated sometimes, so while it can be hard to remove yourself from the situation without seeming rude, know that it's never rude to take care of your mental health. You can calmly and maturely explain that you need to go home and process your anger there.
Your family member or friend might ask what caused you to leave and you can be honest with your feelings. Let them know that you started feeling frustrated with something someone said or did and that you needed to just leave to avoid causing hostility. Even if you get frustrated at home, you can remove yourself from the situation by going for a walk or taking a drive in your car. If you're at work and can't leave, consider taking an early lunch break or walking your worksite.
A third way to deal with frustration is to go for a walk. (If it's raining, too hot, or too cold, you can drive to an indoor shopping center or somewhere else to walk around for a bit.)
Going for a walk helps in so many ways because it releases endorphins, which makes you feel much better. It can also help you calm down and feel less frustrated. Rather than sticking out the tension and potentially saying something you’ll regret later, going for a walk enables you to calm down and articulate what you want to say when you return. This gives you time to allow the anger to dissipate so you can plan a conversation that's centered on problem-solving rather than lashing out.
I have personally taken many walks when I’m feeling frustrated, and it really does help. Once I return home, I am able to work through the situation with more peace because I don’t have all those negative feelings built up inside me. Those feelings were let go of while I was taking a walk, and, normally whatever frustrated me wasn’t so bad once I took my walk. It really has helped prevent me from saying things I would've regretted when I was angry. I hate to be mean to others, yet all of us tend to do this when we are frustrated, and that’s why we need to resolve these feelings before they escalate.
A fourth way to deal with frustration is to focus on things you can control. Frustration can cause us to believe that everything is awful and everything will turn out terribly. Rather than thinking in a clear manner, we tend to think of the worst-case scenario. I know when I’m frustrated that my mind automatically goes to doom and gloom. Even though frustration causes us to think this way, we don’t have to feed into it. Instead of focusing on the frustration or what caused us to feel frustrated, we need to focus on the things we can control.
Some of the things you can control are your attitude, the way you handle the situation, and what you are going to do to resolve the situation. Focus on these things instead of what is causing you frustration in the present moment. Remind yourself that you always want God to be glorified through your actions. If you respond in the heat of the moment with hurtful words, you will not be glorifying God. Instead, you will feel terrible later and run the risk of ruining relationships or your reputation.
A fifth way to deal with frustration is to never forget to turn to God. God can help you with your frustration, but you have to turn to Him. Don’t rely on your strength alone. Turn to the Lord and tell Him you need His help. Ask Him to help you with your frustration and also ask Him to help you specifically with whatever is presently causing your frustration. Maybe your neighbor won’t stop bothering you, your spouse seems to ignore you, or someone in the church is stirring gossip. Be honest about these things. God requires authenticity for us to be used by Him.
Nonetheless, we are never without hope. We need to turn to God to help us in these moments. The Lord cares, and He wants to help you overcome these feelings of frustration. Jesus knows exactly how you feel as He lived an earthly life and experienced all the things we experienced. Through dealing with the Pharisees, Sadducees, and others who opposed Him, Jesus would have felt frustration countless times. He knows what you are feeling, and He can help you.
No matter what you are going through today or what is causing you frustration, God can help you. Go to Him in prayer and ask Him to help you deal with this issue. God never overlooks your struggles, and He desires to help you with each one. Frustration is something we have all experienced, yet you don’t have to live as a slave to it. Release your frustration to the Lord and allow His love, grace, and hope to restore you.
Photo Credit: ©Getty Images /Delmaine Donson