There are many things in this world that can cause us to feel disappointed. Maybe you applied for your dream job and didn’t get it. Or maybe your significant other called off your engagement. Things such as these can cause heartache. Not only this, but it can also create depression, hopelessness, and feelings of failure. If you have struggled with disappointment and don't know how to deal with it, know that you aren't alone.
While many people want you to normalize feeling disappointment, it is also helpful to know how to recover in the aftermath of it all. Disappointment can cause us to feel bad about ourselves, especially if an employer, our spouse, or a friend rejects us. These things can ignite negative thoughts inside our minds. Rather than allowing these negative feelings and thoughts to drain us, we need to know how to properly recover after something disappointing happens.
Here are five ways to recover after disappointment:
One way to recover after disappointment is to pour out your feelings to God. The first person we need to go to when we are feeling disappointed is God. He understands all of our feelings and none of our feelings will ever turn God away from us. The Lord knows what you are feeling and wants to help you process them. Right away, after you have witnessed the disappointment, go to God.
Every time when I face disappointment, I do not face it on my own, and neither should you. We can go to God. Tell Him about how you are disappointed, the pain you are feeling, and how it weighs heavy on your heart and mind. Recently, I was rejected by a mission board that I had been trying to join for many months. I had not told many people about this mission board because I had doubts they would accept me. Despite my doubts, I did all my pre-qualifications and paperwork for the application.
I was proud of my courage to apply despite my fears and doubts; however, after all the time and energy I put into the mission agency, I was rejected based on mental health struggles. While this is not a valid reason to reject someone from a mission agency, I still felt crestfallen, hurt, and not good enough because I was not accepted. Many of my friends and peers had been accepted to mission agencies without a problem, but, for me, I was not deemed suitable for the mission agency.
As soon as I was rejected, I went to God with my feelings. I told Him how disappointed I was and how much pain I was going through. Throughout my life, I have always struggled with feelings of inadequacy, and adulthood has only solidified those feelings. If you are experiencing these feelings too, know you are not alone. We live in a difficult world and will not achieve everything we try to do. When faced with disappointments, we need to turn to God and trust Him with our feelings.
A second way to recover after disappointment is to get your mind off things. This can be done by yourself or with others. If you choose the former, go for a walk, listen to an interesting podcast, or curl up with your favorite book. If you choose the latter, spend some time with a loved one who will be there for you and knows how to get your mind off things. This could be a sibling, your spouse, or a friend. These people know you well and understand what will help best to get your mind off the disappointment.
By getting your mind off things, you will stop dwelling on the disappointing situation. As mentioned earlier, if we dwell on disappointment, it will only make us feel worse about ourselves and fill our minds with many bad thoughts. Even though this disappointment was difficult, that does not mean everything you put your hand to will end in disappointment. Trust God with the process and use the present time to distract yourself from the issue. There is nothing wrong with taking some time for self-care, recharging, and relaxation—away from your problems.
A third way to recover after disappointment is to remember your worth in Christ. The world will try to teach us our worth is found in other things, but this is not true. Our worth is not tied to our appearance, our paycheck, or the car we drive. Rather, our worth is in Christ alone. Remind yourself of this truth when you are recovering after a disappointing situation. Even if you didn’t land the job you want or get accepted into your dream college, know that you are still worthy just as you are.
Your worth does not change based on your financial status, where you live, or your appearance. Your worth stays the same because it is found in Christ. In Christ, you are 100% worthy, loved, valuable, and cherished. None of these qualities will ever be taken from you because you are a redeemed child of God. When disappointments are ever-abounding, remind yourself of your worth in Christ. No matter what happens, you are still more than enough.
A fourth way to recover after disappointment is to talk it out with a loved one. This is something that can be beneficial in affirming your feelings as well as getting things off your chest. Talk with your spouse, your sibling, or a parent about these feelings. Don’t bottle these feelings up or try to push them down into your heart. You need to allow these feelings to be expressed, your thoughts to be heard, and your pain to be validated. Your loved one will be able to do all these things for you as they will be a source of encouragement.
Loved ones have a way of bringing us back to reality and reminding us of all the positive qualities we have. Disappointment can make us feel as though we are failures, hopeless, and lost causes. Our loved ones will be able to help us change the narrative and get our minds focused on the truth that we are beloved by God, we are more than enough, and we are great at many things. When your loved ones tell you these things, don't shrug them off. Accept them and allow them to comfort your heart.
A fifth way to recover after disappointment is to allow yourself to grieve. As mentioned earlier, I was rejected by the mission organization I was trying to join for a long time. I had to take time to grieve after this instance because it was a very tragic event for me. I felt as though no mission agency would ever accept me because of my struggles. In other words, I had to have time to mourn the loss of what I had hoped for. This is true for you also—you have to give yourself time to grieve.
You cannot expect yourself to instantly bounce back after a disappointing situation. Instead, you need to extend grace to yourself and not push yourself beyond your boundaries. Try to allow yourself to grieve and don’t pass judgment on yourself. We often think grieving is okay only after the death of a loved one, but you can grieve for any reason that has brought pain, heartache, and tears.
Dealing with disappointment is difficult, but it is possible. Do your best to recover from the disappointment rather than letting it eat away at your heart. Pour your feelings out to God, get your mind off things, remember your worth in Christ, talk it out with a loved one, and allow yourself to grieve. It's more than okay to take all the time you need to recover after a disappointment. Be gentle with yourself and treat yourself as you would a friend.
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