It’s 6:30am. I can hear birds singing in the garden and see light peeking over the horizon. In a few moments, I’ll sneak back into bed to be there when my husband opens his eyes to greet the day. I’ll slip into bed as if I’ve been there all night but in reality I’ve been awake for the last 3 hours.
What have I been doing since 3:30am? Worrying. And then worrying about not worrying. Fretting about worrying too much. Thinking I should be sleeping, but mostly worrying.
I don't think I realized as a child how hard life can be: how many problems, troubles and disasters can come a person’s way.
Sometimes, like the last year, as I watched my brother and sister-in-law come and go from NICU, hold their son born with Down Syndrome, the reality of the brokenness, so many of us live in everyday, hit me. Then a few months ago, I found myself back sitting next to a hospital bed as doctors biopsied suspicious cells in my husbands body to decide if a fourth cancer diagnosis for him was in order.
I find hospitals are hard places to run from the realities of life, a hard place to hide from death.
While tossing and turning in the night I often need remind myself of the simple truth in 1 John 3:20. The message puts it like this: For God is greater than our worried hearts and knows more about us than we do ourselves.
As I’ve taken this journey of learning to worry less I have found that finding peace depends largely on how willing I am to believe that God is greater than our worried hearts, that he’s bigger than our anxieties, and that he not only holds the future but knows more about it then we do.
When I believe that I find that the promise in Micah 5:5 begins to make sense: He will be our peace. “When the Assyrians invade us, set foot inside our strong palaces, We will raise up more than enough to conquer them—seven shepherds and eight rulers of men.” Micah 5:5 (VOICE)
Chapter 5 of Micah sees the prophet foretelling the destruction of the Assyrian armies, which would be a blow to Israel’s king. But in all this we are reminded that even when our worst fears become reality that, “He will be our peace.”
Jesus, about whom the angels sang at his birth: "Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests."
Jesus will hold me, comfort me and quiet me with his love when the troubles of this life seem too heavy.
When a cancer diagnosis comes.
Jesus will be your peace.
When a child is born with a life of challenges.
Jesus will be your peace.
When a loved one breathes their last.
Jesus will be your peace.
When you leave homes and move towns.
Jesus will be your peace.
When colleagues speak words that attack your character.
Jesus will be your peace.
When friends seem more distant than if they lived in another town.
Jesus will be your peace.
When you hear of wars and terror.
Jesus will be your peace.
When fear of the future clutters your soul.
Jesus will be your peace.
I know, it is terrifying to trust that God really is larger than the burden in our hearts or the anxiety on our minds but if we want a peaceful heart sometimes we have to believe it.
It takes courage and it takes commitment to keep giving our fears, stresses and uncertainties to God to handle but it's worth it (and sometimes it's the only way to get through).
I can't tell you how to find more peace but I can tell you to keep praying:
Jesus, come and be my peace. God, I believe that you know better than me so I am going to leave this in your hands. Help me to look at my present circumstances from your perspective. I want to trust you and rely on your strength to find contentment. I want to share the peace that I find in you with others. When the opportunity comes to speak life and peace to a friend, give me the words and courage to offer: ‘Jesus will be your peace.’ Amen.
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