I recently learned I need a laparoscopic procedure to formally diagnose and remove endometriosis. The pain is difficult to manage, and I've been in denial I need the procedure done.
I recently learned I need a laparoscopic procedure to formally diagnose and remove endometriosis. The pain is difficult to manage, and I've been in denial I need the procedure done. I know the topic of the female reproductive system isn't the most favorable, but it's something I believe we need to be willing to discuss. Before I got married, my husband-to-be and I decided to partake in both pre-engagement and pre-marital counseling. We're technically still in pre-martial counseling now, though it's evolved into marriage counseling. We also decided to learn about sexuality and endometriosis from a healthy point of view. To this day, some of our favorite and most helpful books have been:
- The Great Sex Rescue (Sheila Wray Gregoire)
- The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex (Sheila Wray Gregoire)
- The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex (Sheila Wray Gregoire)
- The Mingling of Souls (Matt Chandler)
- Getting Ready for Marriage (Jim Burns and Doug Fields)
- Know Your Endo (Jennifer Murnane)
This topic has existed for centuries. The book of Genesis and 1 Chronicles mentions Eve's pain was increased in childbearing after the fall of humankind (Genesis 3:16), and Jabez's mother coins his name because the birth had been so painful (1 Chronicles 4:9-10). The World Health Organization reports that endometriosis affects roughly 10% of the population. Women with endometriosis are also twice as likely to suffer from a mental health condition like anxiety or depression. Endometriosis can cause debilitating, life-altering, crippling, and agonizing pain.
Common or Common Misconception:
Endometriosis occurs when tissue grows outside of where it's supposed to. Oddly enough, it can exist in your lungs and stomach, besides the typical female reproductive areas. It can also be found in men. In one of the most painful incidents, my husband and I were at COSI Science Museum, and I ended up in so much pain Ben nearly carried me to the car. I tried to fight the pain, be strong, and make it through the monthly cycle without caving to the thickly coated medicine I so often swallowed with tears until the pain ceased. To this day, my husband says he will never forget the look on my face that day.
One Story of Many:
Once we made it home, it had been an hour since I'd taken the medicine. After turning my insides out, I blacked out and crawled to my bedroom. The pain only temporarily ceased nearly three hours later. The next day, I felt like a wounded warrior. Since this day, I've had highs and lows. Some are not so bad, some worse than others. But on that day, when I could barely walk to pass out papers to my High School students, I made an appointment with my OBGYN because I knew something was off. After countless visits, exams, and scans, she referred me to the specialist who's now positive I have endometriosis.
The worst part about the pain is that it also occurs anytime and out of nowhere. That's also characteristic of endometriosis. These are the days I live day in and out. I've grown almost accustomed and numb to the presence of constant pain and suffering. I've often lost hope of searching for answers or even getting a diagnosis because even then, I know:
- Endometriosis is incurable.
- Despite my still real and gnawing pain, I'll feel stupid if they find nothing.
However, my story is just one of many. Most, if not all, the worst ones remain untold. We, as women, are told to suck up it. That it's part of the world we live in. That it's normal and just the cards in life we've been dealt. That everyone has it and knows what we're experiencing. But here's the thing. Conditions such as these are not normal, and help should be sought.
Your Pain Matters and Is Valid.
I'm also here to say you should never suck it up and deal with it. Your pain is real. It matters. And it needs to be validated. It also isn't normal. I suppose part of me fears surgery because of what could go wrong—the unknowns of recovery, the actual procedure, and my ability to live afterward. My past haunts me with fears of what I'll look like to my newlywed husband. Will he still find me attractive? Will he still love me?
There is also a large part of me fearful I wouldn't be strong enough to bear this burden and would have to give up and face defeat. Though the voices grow louder and louder, I don't want to believe these lies, listening to their malicious remarks. I don't want you to feel this way either. Deep down, despite my stubbornness and denial, I know I need this surgery. While it may not immediately bring the healing or answers I need, I know it's a step in the right direction. I'm still praying for God to forever heal me without needing a procedure. But I also know He gave us Doctors and procedures for a reason. Needing the care of medical professionals doesn't signal a lack of faith. Sometimes, trusting and embracing their help is what God asks of us.
Dear friend, please pray for me in this time of great need. And know I'm doing the same. If you or someone you know are suffering from this type of pain, I want you to know that your pain matters. It is valid. It is real. And it deserves every ounce of medical treatment and healing as anything else. God loves you in this, and He'll love you forever. He will even be with you when you're in denial and ignoring the need to care for yourself (like having surgery).
Photo Credit: ©iStock/Getty Images Plus/gorodenkoff
