My husband and I have recently entered the “empty nest” season of life. I’ve never been one that likes change, especially as I have gotten older. As we age it can seem likes the changes are a bit harder than when you are younger because often the changes bring with them more loss than gain. But God has been showing me what these changes look like from his perspective. He is showing me that I need to replace the word “loss” with his word: “release.”
As I have been meditating on the word “release,” God has reminded me that with the releasing of one thing comes something new. He is showing me that I am now released to partner with him in what he is doing in a new way. With this new season – and this new word – comes a fresh excitement.
With every season there are things that we give up and things that we gain. What have you had to give up for this season? What have you gained in this new season? Pain and anticipation. Loss and gain. It looks different in each season, but I think that if we stop and focus on all we have gained in each season, we will be able to walk through our days with grateful hearts rather than with longing hearts.
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Shift your focus.
Yes. I miss my children being in our home. I loved living daily life with them. I miss poking my head in their bedroom door at night to tell them goodnight and that I love them. I miss the feeling of having our little family unit safe in their beds and under one roof each night. I miss the daily check-ins when they come home from school and work. But if I focus on that, I am focusing on what I have had to release.
On a daily basis, I need to choose to focus on what I have gained – what I have been released to do:
- A new season with my husband.
- New opportunities.
- New ministry.
- New relationships.
- A different and deeper friendship with my grown children and their spouses.
- And, best of all, a stronger dependence on God as I learn, in a deeper way, that he really is more than enough!
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Cling to God's promises.
There is a promise that I have been clinging to in a new way as we have entered the empty nest season – the promise that God will provide grace for each moment. This promised grace is called enabling grace, and it is the strength that he provides so that we are enabled to do what we could not do on our own. This amazing, enabling grace has been evident as we have been walking through this transition. We are truly experiencing a time of worship, rejoicing in God’s provision for our children, and having grateful hearts for how God has carried our family up to this point.
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"It is during these times spent before God that the 'waters are quieted.'"
My prayer is that I will be able to continue to walk through this season with a grateful heart and that I will be aware of the grace God promises to provide in my time of need. As I have spent time in the Word of God and prayer, God led me to the following key passage of Scripture:
“He made the storm be still, and the waves of the sea were hushed. Then they were glad that the waters were quiet, and he brought them to their desired haven. Let them thank the Lord for his steadfast love, for his wondrous works to the children of man! Let them extol him in the congregation of the people, and praise him in the assembly…” (Psalm 107:29-32).
What an encouraging and challenging word from God! It is just what I need to calm the waves of emotion and carry me through this season of change. It is during these times spent before God that the “waters are quieted.” It is just what I need to remind me of “God’s steadfast love, and his wondrous works” in my life, marriage, and the lives of our family. We are meant to live a life that is “extolling and praising him"!
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"In every season God promises to provide the (enabling) grace we need."
How does this apply you in your particular season? In every season God promises to provide the (enabling) grace we need. In every single, often painful act of releasing something to God, he has already provided the strength we need to be able to do just that. But it is our responsibility to access what he has provided. And how do we do that?
Here are 5 things that we can do to access all that God has already provided for his precious children:
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1. Spend time quietly before God in prayer.
Admit the fact that you are in over your head and that you need his grace and strength to face the season you are in. Tell him that you want to be able to release the old so that you can walk with him in the new! (Psalm 131:2)
2. Read the scriptures.
The Psalms is a book filled with prayers that cry out to the Lord for his help and strength! Read them and be encouraged as you see the prayers turn from cries to praises. (Psalm 86; Psalm 34)
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3. Redirect your thoughts.
When you are tempted to focus on what seems to be lost, release! Take time to remember all that God has done in your life and all the ways he has provided for you, strengthened you, and carried you. Then, ask him to show you all that he is releasing you to do. (Psalm 77:11; Psalm 105:5)
4. Give thanks.
- Thank him for being faithful, even when you have not been faithful
- For his steadfast love, even when your love has often faded
- And for giving you so many of your heart’s desires, even though none of us really deserve that gift. (Psalm 107)
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5. Remember His promises and thank Him again!
Thank him for his promise to provide mercy and strength when you need it. Ask him to fill you with a peace that passes all comprehension and to fill you with the strength you need to move forward, embracing whole heartedly, what he has for you in this next season. (Hebrews 4:16; Philippians 4:6,7)
Every season comes with its own unique challenges. Even new and exciting seasons can be bittersweet, bringing much adjustment. We often find ourselves feeling like we are being blown away by the winds of change. But God has promised to give us the grace to stand firm and steady amidst these winds. All we have to do is reach out and access the enabling grace and strength that he has already provided for us!
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Release and move on
There are so many “releases” in life. We need to entrust all of them to Him, and then move on with what He has for us to do one day at a time. He is sovereign, and He has already decided how He wants to work in the lives of his children for His purposes, His glory, and our good. He is preparing each of us for eternity with Him.
This life is the classroom and it will only last a short time. It is as a breath in light of eternity! May we walk in the strength that he has provided, willing to release what needs to be released, and eagerly embracing what we are released to do in each new season.
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"May we walk in the strength that he has provided..."
“The Lord is my strength and my shield; in him my heart trusts, and I am helped; my heart exults, and with my song I give thanks to him. The Lord is the strength of his people; he is the saving refuge of his anointed. Oh, save your people and bless your heritage! Be their shepherd and carry them forever.” (Psalm 28:7-9)
For the past 20+ years Gina Smith and her husband have served on a Christian college campus as the on campus parents, and her husband has been a professor and dean of students. They have lived on the campus where they homeschooled and raised both of their children. In her spare time she loves to write and recently authored her first book “Grace Gifts: Practical Ways To Help Your Children Understand God's Grace". She also writes at her personal blog: ginalsmith.com
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Originally published Tuesday, 21 May 2019.
