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Shame. That word alone makes one’s mind go to an unpleasant place. It’s an uncomfortable feeling. Most of us have experienced something in our lives we are so ashamed of that we don’t even like talking about this subject, let alone reading about it. I commend you if you’ve landed on this article, and I encourage you to continue in its entirety. I pray that your heart is touched after reading this, leaving you with sense of freedom when you come to the end. Because here is the truth: many of us are slowly dying in a dark place of shame. Secrets or lies shackle you, keeping you prisoner, holding you back from fully living.
Shame can set in from something you’ve done, or by suffering from another’s actions. Perhaps you are ashamed of the financial condition you’ve put your family in, or you’re plagued with the guilt of sexual sin from your past. Maybe you are crippled by the shame of secret addictions, or at some point you fell victim to abuse.
The problem with shame is first, we experience the painful event or feelings of extreme guilt. Then second, we believe the lie that our pain and failure is who we are—not just something we’ve done or that was done to us. And so we experience shame.
Friends, we are not our sins, and neither are we what others have done to us.
Where our enemy traps us is where he feeds us the lies that we can never recover. He whispers to us that we don’t deserve to heal, or step into the light because we are unworthy. Unworthy to move forward and become more than our shame-filled stories.
Therefore, we stay in the dark, coping and just surviving.
Photo Credit: © Unsplash/Cherry Laithang
How Satan Plays the Game of Shame
You’re not alone in feeling shame. Shame has had power over us from the very beginning when it all started with Adam and Eve.
Satan wants us to feel so much shame and guilt that even when we haven’t sinned, we feel discouraged and defeated. Satan wants us to feel like there is no way out of feeling this way because somewhere along the way we believed that there can be no freedom from the severity of what we did, or what happened to us.
Let’s remember this—Satan is a liar! The Bible clearly states in John 8:44 that Satan, is the “father of lies.” Just as he lied to Eve in the Garden of Eden, his goal everyday is for us to believe similar lies. The game Satan plays with us today is the same game of shame he been playing from the very beginning.
Hiding in All the Wrong Places
When Adam and Eve bit into the forbidden fruit, they realized they were naked. Their first instinct was to hide from each other as well as to hide from God (Genesis 3:7-11). We too have the same instinct to hide ourselves due to shame. We sin, we are weak, and we fail often because we live in a sin-filled world. Because of this, most of us will go to almost any length to hide our dark sides from others and God.
We think that if we leave it hidden in the shadows, maybe, just maybe we can pretend it’s not there.
We hide by staying busy. We hide with distractions and T.V. to drown out the noise of potential shame from rising to the forefront of our minds. We hide behind our computers and phone screens. We hide behind social medias facades. We hide behind humor or our looks.
Hiding our shame is a normal response. We might need a place to hide, but we need to hide in the right place. There is only one place to hide that offers what we need to cover our shame. We find that in the arms of our Savior. We are to “take refuge in the shadow of His wings” (Psalm 91:4), for He is “our hiding place; our protection” (Psalm 32:7). He is our safe place to hid.
Photo Credit: © Sparrowstock
Jesus Came for the Things We Hide
Did you know God loves you so much that He sent His son to bear our shame on the cross? And not just any son, his only son (John 3:16). Let that sink into your heart for a moment. This is a love so big that He gave His very own son to bear the sins that we commit day after day.
When Jesus faced death by crucifixion, the Bible tells us that He “endured the cross and scorned the shame” (Hebrews 12:2). Jesus already endured the pain so that we don’t have to. He came and died for the things we hide: our sin and our shame.
So why do we revisit these wounds living in the pain of our shame when our Savior came to cover it with His blood?
When Adam and Eve sinned, they felt the shame of their sin and wanted to hide the most intimate parts of themselves. Genesis 3:7 says, “they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves coverings.”
But God had a better covering for both of them. His love and forgiveness cover us. He doesn’t rip away their fig leaves to expose them; He doesn’t mock the covering they attempted to hide themselves with. God covered them with garments of skin. These coverings were thick and warm and protective. He covers us in this same love, caring protection, and complete forgiveness. He doesn’t want us to live a life hidden away. Psalm 103:12 reminds us that we are forgiven, and not even God Himself remembers nor reminds us of our sin for “as far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us.”
Photo Credit: © Unsplash/niklas_hamann
Shame Keeps Us from Experiencing Active Love
You cannot experience God’s love in action when you are held down from the chains and lies of shame. God wants us to walk in his living and active love, a love that gives you freedom, unchained from the prison of shame.
There are two ways we find this freedom from shame:
- We need to believe what God says is true about us, and turn from believing we are defined by what we have done or what has been done to us. While we may always remember what happened in the past, we need to believe that we are not defined by what took place. We are who God says we are, and we can stand confident that our past isn’t our future. As the truth of Scripture states in 1 Corinthians 5:17, “if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away… all things have become new.”
- We need to be truthful to God about those things we are ashamed of. In the Old Testament, King David seduced his friend’s wife, who became pregnant, and then he used his power to ensure that his friend was killed in battle. David must have felt he had every reason to listen to his shame. Instead, he brought his past into the open. He accepted his past, and then he clung to the truth embracing what God had for his future. God forgave him, and even deemed David with the title of “a man after God’s own heart” (1 Samuel 13:14); a man who did such a shameful act, yet because he was truthful about his shame, God forgave him and David was able to experience true freedom and restoration.
God can do the same for you too. No matter what you’ve done or became victim to, God can redeem it. Remember—shame is from the enemy intended to disable us. Guilt on the other hand, is what leads us to repentance: what leads us to God Himself. He has made us new. We are not defined by our past, nor is our past our future.
Photo Credit: © Getty Images
Your Shame Is to Be Used for a Purpose
God can turn your pain into purpose. Your message into a message. The dark places of your past into the light that others need. Your struggle into victory. Your shame into a showcase for His goodness.
One of Jesus’ disciples, Peter, broke out of the prison of shame and used it for a purpose. He betrayed Jesus as he passionately denied that he ever knew him. Peter could have remained in shame for the rest of his life. But he refused to believe the lie that his betrayal now branded him as a traitor forever. Instead, he brought his shame to the foot of the cross and cried out to God for forgiveness.
Peter was forgiven, and he then went on to preach a daring message at Pentecost, becoming one of the founding fathers of the Christian church.
His failure, the betrayal of Jesus himself, turned into a purpose that led the way to Kingdom victory.
What are you holding onto that leaves you feeling shameful? Could that be hindering you from walking in your God-given purpose? Friends—God can use it all for GOOD. Romans 8:28 promises us that “we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.” What the enemy meant for harm, keeping you inactive within shame’s prison walls, God can actually turn it around for His good.
Let’s start the journey of believing we are loved. Believing we are forgiven, and our past is made new in Christ. And let’s use our shame-filled stories to walk in our God-ordained purposes. We no longer have to believe the lies the enemy has given us that we are what we did, but rather stand in victory as we walk in freedom breaking free from the chains of shame.
Photo Credit: © Getty Images/Shutter2U
Originally published Wednesday, 05 August 2020.
