Do you ever just want to be left alone? The kind of alone when you don’t have to talk to anyone, laugh at someone’s jokes, or be whatever it is people need you to be?
Truth be told, this world can be exhausting, even for the most extroverted of us.
The fatigue I experience from being all things to all people causes a sense of numbness and emptiness that I struggle to put words around. That’s when I find myself needing to retreat from the world and just be quiet, get lost in my thoughts, dive deep into the scriptures, and hide behind my screen.
Sometimes, we feel numb, and that’s okay. We don’t have to pretend to be okay, and we don’t have to answer questions about what’s wrong with us; we should feel free to go quiet and disappear for a while so we can work through our issues in our heads, hearts, and those caused by people we love the most. Sometimes, we need to be alone so we can process our thoughts and realign our hearts with God’s.
If this reminds you of a place you’ve been, let me reassure you that you are not alone. I tend to feel this way when I’m overwhelmed and stressed with my to-do list and when I haven’t given myself sufficient time to rest and recover from events, projects, and work. I’ve discovered these numb feelings might be my body’s way of telling me it’s time to take a break.
In these moments when we feel void of any feeling at all, it can even be hard to formulate words around how we feel. Take heart, my friend, if the words won’t come, you can find assurance that the Holy Spirit will call out to God on your behalf:
“And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don’t know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words. And the Father who knows all hearts knows what the Spirit is saying, for the Spirit pleads for us believers in harmony with God’s own will.” Romans 8:26-27 (NLT)
So when I find myself in these numb moments, how do I pull myself out of them?
The answer is that I don’t. I’ve learned to embrace the silence rather than fear it. Instead of worrying about my numb and thoughtless brain, I’ve decided to use it as a way to let God speak to me, taking a cue from the psalmist in Psalm 46:10 (ESV), when he says, “Be still, and know that I am God.”
When the motivations fade and inspiration is out of reach, I urge you to lean into God and ask Him to lead you. Ask Him to speak to you with His “still small voice” (1 Kings 19:12).
Over time, I’ve discovered different practices that have helped me cope with my numbness and bring myself into a place where I can sort out all the thoughts swirling around in my head. Here, I can listen to God’s voice and process my next steps (including my plan for how I will re-enter the world).
You can choose a few of these to try or come up with some of your own life-giving practices. I even combine one or two at the same time:
1. Turn down the volume on external noise.
Sometimes, we truly need to sit in silence despite how uncomfortable it may feel. Instead of filling that silence with things that prevent you from processing what’s going on, like mindless scrolling on social media, set the phone down, turn off the TV, and close the laptop.
2. Turn up the volume on worship music.
If you really cannot take the silence, then turn on your favorite worship music, and allow the lyrics to minister to your soul.
3. Do a brain dump.
There’s just something therapeutic about writing down random words or thoughts as they pop into my head. Nothing about the order in which these words appear will make sense, but emptying your mind onto a blank page is surprisingly freeing. There’s just one rule - don’t overthink this. Just grab something to write with, and jot down everything that comes to mind at that moment. You can always try to make sense of it later.
4. Talk to someone safe.
Find a trusted friend to confide in, one you can trust to keep your conversation confidential but also offer wise, godly counsel. The key is that you feel completely safe to be open and vulnerable. Talking it out with someone is often the key to unlocking our captive thoughts and processing whatever it is that has been causing our numbness.
5. Stay productive, but not busy.
I do some of my best thinking while performing no-brainer tasks, like washing dishes, vacuuming, washing my car, or folding laundry. Hey, you could even repaint a room! With your hands busy, your brain is free to think.
6. Go for a drive.
Believe it or not, some of my best alone time happens when I’m driving alone, where no one can really bug me. If my heart feels heavy, I appreciate driving in complete silence. When I’m ready, I’ll turn on my favorite worship music, which often opens the floodgates of my soul. So what if people see me simultaneously crying and raising my hands in worship?!
7. Listen to a podcast.
Getting a fresh perspective from my favorite podcasters tends to give me just enough push in the right direction, aiding the motivation and inspiration that I need to start moving again. If you haven’t tried listening to podcasts, I encourage you to give it a try. Several of my favorite faith-based authors have podcasts.
8. Do a good deed.
Intentionally doing something nice for someone else is a great way to get ourselves out of the slumps. I’ve noticed that when I am feeling numb, doing something for someone else helps me find a sense of purpose in my life again. I believe that this is how God wired us (and commands us) to be.
9. Get moving.
Try going for a walk, run, hike, or bike ride. It’s a proven fact that exercise induces our “feel good” or “happy” hormones. In addition, getting outside helps to lift our mood and increase our focus. If I need a large dose of inspiration and clarity for a big project, I usually start by going for a walk or a run first. This not only energizes me but clears my head and makes space for innovative ideas.
10. Read a good fiction book or watch a movie.
If I’m in such a numb state of mind that I can’t seem to create any emotions, letting myself get lost in someone else’s story, whether in a book or on a screen, often helps stir up my feelings just enough that I’m able to feel my own. Snuggling up on the couch with a good book or movie may be just the thing that gets those emotional wheels spinning again.
Not being able to feel anything can be a scary place when we don’t know what to do with it. But when we have an open mind, a desire to hear from God, and we are willing to take steps to process through our thoughtless state of mind, we can harness the feelings of insecurity that inevitably take up space in our minds.
It’s important, more than ever, that we don’t stand idly by, but that we guard our hearts and minds from the enemy (Philippians 4:7), and ask the Holy Spirit to usher in His protection and guidance.
Take the time you need to work through your numbness and trust that God is doing something powerful in you (Philippians 1:6).
Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/DGLimages
Jennifer Jabbour resides in the scenic San Diego countryside with her husband, adult son, and teen daughter, and their hilarious English Bulldog. Jennifer has a B.A. in Integrated Business Communications, and is a Go + Tell Gals licensed life coach. Jennifer hopes to use her calling of writing, coaching, and speaking to equip and empower women to clarify their vision and to boldly step forward in response to God's calling on their life, as well as educate and encourage others to experience the abundance of God's goodness when they seek Him first in all that they do. Jennifer is also a brown belt in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, a photographer, and an avid outdoors-woman. She loves camping, hiking, running, and playing the piano in her free time.
You can keep up with Jennifer on her website https://www.jenniferjabbour.com.