With my worries piled high and my sorrows weighing me down, I approach this lowly stable with open arms and bent knees.
Sometimes, the most beloved holiday also brings the most stress. Between dozens of family gatherings, work parties, and festive traditions, a season meant for peace and joy quickly brings anxiety, overwhelm, and despair. Before we know it, we're waiting for the season to end rather than savoring its precious moments.
If you're anything like me, anxiety during a time like Christmas comes naturally. You don't ask for it to appear, it just does. Unfortunately, anxiety is a thief of many things, including our presence. This season, here are three tips I'm taking to beat (or reduce) holiday anxiety one step at a time:
1. Focus on your Present
In Luke 10, we read a fairly common and well-known interaction between Mary, Martha, and Jesus. While Mary decides to sit at Jesus' feet when He arrives, listening intently, Martha is too busy clearing, cooking, and preparing for His arrival. Mary chooses to focus on the present, but Martha is preoccupied with many other things.
"While Jesus and his followers were traveling, he went into a town, and a woman named Martha let him stay at her house. She had a sister named Mary. Mary was sitting at Jesus’ feet and listening to him teach. But her sister Martha was busy doing all the work that had to be done. Martha went in and said, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do all the work by myself? Tell her to help me!” But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are getting worried and upset about too many things. Only one thing is important. Mary has made the right choice, and it will never be taken away from her" (Luke 10:38-42, ERV).
If we want to reduce anxiety during a hustling and bustling season, we must begin by focusing on our present. Instead of looking forward or behind, try focusing on the most essential tasks for this moment, right now. As Jesus said to Martha, many things will fight for our attention, but only one thing is important.
Focusing on your present looks like:
-Being mindful of the moment: being aware of sights, sounds, and smells. Try putting away your phone when you're out and about and look around you.
-Taking time to breathe and re-center: This is especially important when feeling overwhelmed. Take a few moments to breathe, unclench your jaw, and shake out your shoulders.
-Meditating on God's Word: Choose one or two simple Scriptures this season that you can easily memorize. When anxiety feels great within you, bring these verses to mind in a prayer to God.
2. Focus on your Presence
As we learn to focus on our present, we must also learn to focus on our presence. As Christians, the way we live has a direct impact on those around us. People are always watching, and they are looking to see how we react when life doesn't go as planned. Holidays are one of the greatest times when things don't go as planned. But it's how we respond—our presence—that matters.
While being present is important, it's equally important to bring your presence into any moment. Focusing on your presence means identifying things you can and can't change. When it comes to reducing anxiety during the holidays, this is beneficial because it helps us address the problem logically and realistically.
As someone who suffers from Generalized Anxiety Disorder, I can factually tell you that a lot of things I worry about may never happen. But making that realization when I'm anxious requires the rational part of my brain. And honestly, sometimes anxiety can't be reasoned with as much as you try. Learning to focus on what you bring to a situation and what you can and can't change can help reduce anxiety because it requires us to bring our whole selves to the table.
Psalms 51:16-17 illustrates bringing our whole selves to Jesus in this way: "You do not desire a sacrifice, or I would offer one. You do not want a burnt offering. The sacrifice you desire is a broken spirit. You will not reject a broken and repentant heart, O God" (NLT). If we want to bring our presence, we must learn to tell God how we're really doing.
Focusing on your presence looks like:
-Talking to God about what you can and can't control: Try making a list of what's making you anxious. Then, divide the list into what you can and can't control. Ask God to help you let go of the things beyond your grasp and for grace in dealing with the things within your control.
-If you're in a social gathering and feeling anxious, ground yourself using the 5-4-3-2-1 technique. Firmly plant your feet on the ground, take a couple of deep breaths, and then identify these things: 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste.
3. Focus on the Present
Learning to be present by presenting our honest and authentic presence this season will all be in vain if we don't remember to focus on the Present Himself. Unlike any other gift we might receive this season, the greatest gift of life was given to us as a baby born in a manger. He didn't come in a perfectly wrapped box with a bow on top, but He came in the exact way God saw fit.
When anxiety swirls in our minds, it can be difficult to focus on anything else. Especially for those of us with clinical disorders like OCD, GAD, or PTSD, focusing on this Present, that is, Jesus Christ, seems almost impossible. But here's the good news: Jesus doesn't ask for our perfection; He asks us to come as we are, and that's enough.
With my worries piled high and my sorrows weighing me down, I approach this lowly stable with open arms and bent knees. Like the wise men in Matthew 2:11, I fall in surrender as I worship my King. Not because my anxiety is instantly taken away but because I know that this baby was born for people like me—broken, sinful, messy, complicated, depressed, and, yes, even anxious people. Making that realization helps me focus on who He is, the Gift who would die for me, despite where I am.
Focusing on the Present looks like:
-Accepting who God says we are despite our anxiety. Remember, there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1), and He isn't ashamed of our struggles.
-Asking God to help you look to Him during this overwhelming season. Write a prayer to Him asking Him to help you focus on what matters most.
No matter what has you feeling anxious this holiday season, it's my prayer that these three tips help you be a little more present. As we learn to focus on our present, and the presence we bring, His presence, the greatest present, will become clearer. May God bless you now and forevermore as you relish in who He is in this season and all year long.
Agape, Amber
Photo Credit: ©Unsplash/Ben White
