Thanksgiving is a holiday that often gets less attention than most. Packed between the extravagant decorating for Halloween and the hustle and bustle of the Christmas season, it’s a holiday that doesn’t seem to get the time and relaxation it fully deserves. I’ve even thought moving Thanksgiving to a more restful and less busy time of year could be a good move, but since I don’t have that control, we must decide for ourselves how we celebrate and equally make the time that each holiday can require of us.
So what does Thanksgiving, how we celebrate it, and the pace it encompasses in our lives have to do with patience? Let’s go through three ways that Thanksgiving, with the varying degrees of attention it may get in this fast-paced culture, can help us to better practice patience:
I have the blessing of being a part of a large family, and with that, scheduling and coordinating is very important. I am not married with children, but I do understand that it takes compromise and coordination to spend Thanksgiving with your family and, if married, to share with your spouse’s family as well. These qualities, compromise and coordination, have one thing in common: the need to have patience to utilize them successfully. Practicing patience with loved ones and friends is imperative to the life of a Christian. I always joke about not praying for patience as God will give you something to be patient over. But in all seriousness, we can pray for guidance and self-control as we navigate opportunities to put others before ourselves.
Do you change the time of day you eat based on when family and friends can come over? Maybe, like my family, you meet on another day of the week and then everyone has time to travel and see more loved ones over the break. Being single, the demands for my time are not as high as my siblings', but this has helped me become a more flexible person with more patience by coordinating with others. Maybe you stay with family members over the holiday if you live out of town. This is also a great opportunity to stretch your patience muscles in new places and routines. We need to remember this verse as we walk into new routines for a time of thanksgiving and celebration: “Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too” (Philippians 2:3-4).
My mother is the best cook, in my opinion. I am so grateful for her skills in the kitchen and her patience with the process of cooking for a blessed and ever-growing number of people in the family. There are so many unseen steps that must take place before the food is set on the table. As I’ve aged, I’ve loved watching and learning from my Ma in the kitchen, and I am so grateful to have this knowledge and her recipes! Patience in the kitchen is imperative and is a skill that, I believe, is not praised enough. As the Bible says, “Good planning and hard work lead to prosperity...” (Proverbs 21:5), and it can be easily seen on Thanksgiving that the hands that prepared our meals are patient and good at planning.
Maybe you are the cook for the Thanksgiving feast and love every minute of it, or you can just as easily feel overwhelmed and stressed by it too. Has the guest list ever suddenly changed overnight and the 20-person meal you cooked and planned for went down to 10 due to sickness or travel issues? Patience is definitely needed when there are unexpected plan changes.
I pray that your family and friends show appreciation and maybe even offer to contribute food and/ or help in the setup and clean-up process, especially when you are feeling overwhelmed. Patience with people who may be more takers than givers over Thanksgiving can be a hard journey and praying for patience with each other, as well as the oven timer, is crucial.
Thanksgiving is a special time when family and friends get a chance to spend time together, and it can be especially important for those who live far away or aren't able to see each other as regularly. It is an interesting thing to note that political decisions, like presidential elections, are also held in the same month as this community-based holiday. In one scenario, your extended family may see all political ideas similarly, and if so, that can make it easier to have conversations with each other over the dinner table without as much mindfulness necessary. On the other side of the coin, you may have an extended family that is comprised of people holding different political ideas, and this may mean you need to be a bit more cautious and mindful in your conversations with love and grace.
In James 1:19-20, we are reminded to “... be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires.” Patience in your interactions is crucial to continue that bond of love and light in your family and relationships. It doesn’t matter which side of the political aisle you are on; both sides are held accountable for the same call to grace and love with everyone. Think of how patient Jesus is with us and how He is always patient with us when we sin and need His forgiveness. We are all imperfect humans trying our best, and the joy of being with loved ones and friends should be held higher than the need to bring up a topic that could cause hurt feelings or division at the dinner table.
So, as we can see, as Christians, we are held to a standard of patience with the world around us and each other. We might see fighting and name-calling on the television or the internet, but that is not how we are called to live. Division is what Satan would love to see among families and believers, and we have to fight against that temptation so we can have a peaceful life that loves and looks after others. God will give us discernment if we ask Him for it, and the ability to “read the room” is a skill that we should all be striving to grow in from day to day. (And don’t forget that you have a God who loves everyone in your family and friend group and a Savior who died for each one of you.) Let us remember and give thanks for the freedom we have to meet together this Thanksgiving.
I pray you let this final verse be a reminder as you patiently join together with those you love:
“Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful.” Colossians 3:12-15
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