Good goals are flexible and adjustable. They can adapt at any time, and, most importantly, display grace.
I know what you’re thinking—another post about New Year’s resolutions and how you've failed for not being able to keep or maintain any of them. But you’re right and wrong. While this is a post about goals and plans for the new year, it isn’t one that will cause guilt, shame, and anxiety.
If most of us are willing to confess it, New Year’s goals seem enticing and attractive. They are exciting, ambitious, and achieved by the most strong-willed individuals. While that’s true to some extent, they also cause a lot of undue pain, pressure, and anxiety.
Here are three ways to reduce anxiety when these goals and ambitions seem overwhelming:
1. Don’t Let New Year’s Resolutions Be An Anxiety Trigger
While setting goals is important, don’t let them weigh you down with unrealistic expectations. Resolutions are meant to inspire and encourage us, not punish us for our inability to maintain rigid boundaries and goals.
Instead of allowing these longed-for ideals to cause you anxiety, think about small, measurable action steps you can take to achieve them. I’ve always heard it said that less is better, and the older I get, the more I believe that to be true. Setting SMART Goals this new year can not only set you up for success, but help reduce the anxiety of diets, fads, and exercise plans that simply aren't realistic.
SMART goals aren’t just specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound, but they are unique and designed for you. When setting goals this year, I encourage you to talk to God about what He has in mind for you. Focus less on how much you do, and zoom in on the few things that matter most.
Here are a couple of ideas to get you started:
- Instead of making a list of 50 new goals for 2025, choose 5 simple practices you can easily incorporate into your current schedule. This reduces the pressure to do it all but provides carefree ways you can build new and important habits.
- Lean into your strengths and acknowledge your weaknesses. If you know keeping a brand new diet just isn’t sustainable, don’t put that on your to-do list. Instead, break that overarching goal into something more sustainable for you. Maybe you could incorporate more vegetables into every meal or drink more water throughout the day. You can still achieve goals that are important to you; they just look more achievable.
2. Focus on What’s Working (Not What Isn’t)
As you pursue goals, things are going to come up. Your running plan might get thrown off, you fall ill, or fall way behind on the Bible reading plan you swore you’d finally complete. But here’s the good news: You are human and making mistakes is part of the journey.
When resolutions get thrown off course, many people are tempted to throw in the towel completely. But don’t give up. These setbacks are opportunities to focus on what is working, not what isn’t. Good goals are flexible and adjustable. They can adapt at any time, and, most importantly, display grace.
Here are a couple of ways to focus on what matters most:
-Instead of complaining and sitting in self-pity, acknowledge that you are human and can't do it all. Ask God to help you pick these goals back up and adjust them in realistic ways. For example, if you're behind on your Bible reading plan, start where you are. It's okay to take things one step at a time, and what matters is that you're digging into the Word. If you're absolutely set on "catching back up," schedule time for readings 2-3 times a day at small and manageable intervals that work for you.
- Make a list of habits and practices that you feel you are doing well. Then, make a list of the habits and practices you want to improve upon. Focus on gratitude, and use these lists as a prayer to communicate with the Lord. You can also ask a spouse or close friend to help if you're having trouble coming up with either list.
3. Don't Compare Yourself to Others
I know it's tempting, but reduce the urge to scroll, snap, and post this season. Everywhere you look, people are posting their best moments for the entire world to see. She just beat her 5K time by 10 minutes. He's been on a 175-day streak of clean eating. She just lost 12 pounds. He hasn't missed a day of Bible reading yet. The list goes on and on.
The problem is that those are only the highlights. They don't mention the mistakes, setbacks, and failures these individuals have had along the way. And they certainly don't leave us feeling encouraged or motivated. Instead, they leave us feeling broken, less than, and a little less than accomplished when it comes to our new goals and accomplishments.
Comparison, like any bad habit, is a thief of joy. It robs us of the talents and gifts that God's given us and shines them in a negative light, darkly contrasting the reality that we'll never be enough. One of the best ways to combat New Year's resolution anxiety is to focus on who Christ says you are and what He's called you to do. Let me give you an example:
As an author, there are many writers before and behind me. I struggle to see the purpose in the journey when I'm over here and they're over there. The grass always seems a bit greener on the other side, doesn't it? But someone else's highlights, best bits, and victories don't mean I'm doing something wrong. It also doesn't mean that my story doesn't matter, because it most definitely does.
God has a plan for you and your life. Your goals, ambitions, dreams, and deepest desires are unique to you—not someone else. I've spent far too much of my life chasing other people's dreams and ideas instead of my own. Why? Because I feared that my dreams and deepest desires weren't enough. God doesn't hand out empty promises or pointless desires. He sets His desires within us to fulfill His plan and purpose for our lives. Don't spend your life living for someone else's dreams when you were meant to achieve God's design for you.
Here are a couple of ways to reduce comparison in your life:
- Reduce the amount of time you spend on social media. Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok can be great entertainment, but they're an awful source of worth and motivation. Remember, socials only show the best side of everyone; they're not an accurate depiction of real life.
- Ask God to help you see who you are in Him. Take time to journal a prayer to God. Ask Him to realign your identity as a child of the King and help you set goals that are made for you (and not someone else)!
- Rejoice when others succeed. It sounds counterintuitive, and might hurt your pride a bit, but learning to rejoice in others' victories is a great practice of gratitude and Thanksgiving. Just because he or she is having great success doesn't mean this is your downfall. Again, someone else's achievements shouldn't be seen as a comparison or negative reflection of our capabilities. Her success isn't your failure.
No matter what goals you're aiming to achieve this New Year, it's my prayer that you can face them with a little less anxiety and a whole lot more grace. We as human beings aren't perfect, and while setting goals can be good and important, I don't believe God ever wants them to cause undue anxiety.
Which of these tips and tricks are you going to try this season? Let me know what works for you!
Agape, Amber
Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/svetikd
