Imagine with me that we are stepping outside into the crisp Autumn air after filling up on some turkey, dressing, and sweet potato casserole for a much-needed afternoon walk, and let’s talk through some ways to remain thankful through our disappointments this season.
When I think of Thanksgiving, the first thing that pops up in my mind is the delicious food that Ma cooks for our family. I think of sweet childhood memories I have including watching parades on television, making turkeys out of milk jugs, playing with my siblings in the yard, and watching the lighting of the big Christmas tree in Atlanta that night. I also remember accidentally breaking my finger trying to catch a football in my 20s right before we all sat down to eat the meal...and yes, I still ate with everyone while wearing a splint on my finger.
I love Thanksgiving and how it brings friends and family together to share a meal and reminisce on sweet memories from the past. The popular online topic in November tends to be “thankfulness.” Some people post pictures or keep a journal of people, things, and blessings they are thankful for. While I love the idea of focusing on what we are thankful for over the holidays, I feel like it can only put a band-aid over the aches and disappointments that many of us are feeling this time of year. We place our struggles on the side until the holiday season subsides and January becomes a cold and stark reminder of the unanswered longings we still hold when the lights go out.
If I could be so bold, I’d say that many of us could fill a notebook with the sadness and disappointments we feel faster than we could fill a thankfulness journal these days. My brain wants to be positive and hopeful but it also has to be realistic, and that’s okay. Imagine with me that we are stepping outside into the crisp Autumn air after filling up on some turkey, dressing, and sweet potato casserole for a much-needed afternoon walk, and let’s talk through some ways to remain thankful through our disappointments this season.
Recognize Your Disappointment
It can be really tempting to stuff down our disappointments. On one hand, you are grateful for what you do have when you look around and see others hurting and living in situations that seem unbearable. On the other hand, ignoring your own disappointments and pains will only bury them deeper until one day you can’t hold them in anymore. Being in a people-pleaser mindset can also add to the inclination to look to others more than yourself, even if that means letting your needs go to the sideline. We are called to love our neighbors, but we also need to love ourselves and take care of our hearts so that we can continue to show God’s love to others.
You may know what it feels like to not let yourself think about “it” for too long while moving through the holidays with a smile on your face, whatever your “it” may be. My singleness as a 41-year-old woman is an “it” for me. I don’t like to dwell on my relationship status as I know I am much more than that one part of my life, but to deny my disappointment in not having a husband and children at this age would be a disservice to my heart. I won’t deny my heartache and quote Bible verses without recognizing my pain and letting Jesus hold my hand through it. When I recently bought a piece of exercise equipment, did I read the manual and absentmindedly move the parts around hoping they’d fit themselves together? No, I read the manual, picked up the tools and the pieces in the box, and got to work. Jesus recognizes that we will have pain in this world but also reminds us that we can find comfort through Him. John 16:33 says, “‘In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.’” We have to work through fears, sadness, and difficulties with the Owner of our hearts and souls.
Find the Blessings
So we recognize the disappointment but what then? Do we wallow in it? By no means. We figure out, with God’s guidance, what the next best steps are that we can take to move forward while noticing the blessings that surround us. This can include finding a community with others in the same season of life or grief stage, finding a counselor to offer tools to make it through day by day, or simply calling a close friend. As it says in Proverbs 3:13, “Blessed are those who find wisdom, those who gain understanding...” I pray daily for contentment in where God has me, wisdom to take the best next step in His plan for my life, and the strength to be okay with what He chooses for me.
Finding the blessings in your day can be a way to stay thankful throughout seasons of disappointment. Do blessings have to be big life changes, or can they be simple, positive changes in your day? I say they are both. A simple blessing I had recently at a coffee shop was being asked if I wanted to use my reward points I didn’t know I had on a sweet treat making it free! Getting a phone call from an old friend is a blessing, especially if you are sitting in a lot of loneliness or miss them greatly. Having a job offered to you without even looking for it, which happened to me in 2020, is an example of a big life-changing blessing that can give you more confidence that God is in the details. So let me encourage you to keep your eyes open to see the good, your ears open to listen to His instructions, and your hands open to hold onto those God puts around you as you make it day by day.
Share with Others
Being thankful for where God has you in life has a lot to do with how you use the season of life and the circumstances you’re in rather than how they make you feel. For example, my singleness doesn't always make me feel wanted, special, or valuable but writing about it and using it to encourage my fellow single friends does. When you look around and see other people making it through life in your situation, or worse, it can encourage you to be thankful for your life and what little you may think you have to offer. As it says in Luke 6:38, “Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”
These days we are living in, on top of our ability to read and post about almost anything through social media, can make it very easy to find the wrong in the world and within ourselves as humans. That is why sharing your pains and blessings with those God has placed around you in your inner circle can do wonders for your heart and theirs too. Who knows what blessing can come from sharing how God has been comforting you through a certain heartache that another friend may also be going through? We oftentimes have no idea of the impact we have on each other, whether good or bad. Let’s be more mindful this Thanksgiving and pray for God to place us in the right conversations with the right people at just the right time.
So, as we’ve seen, giving our time, space, talents, and kind words to one another is a huge part of celebrating Thanksgiving. If there is something God has been teaching you over the past year, share that with others you think could appreciate it! When shared with others, our burdens and struggles can bring us closer to each other while helping us become more relatable to those who may not know God as uniquely as we do. Recognizing our pains, finding our blessings, and sharing those with others this season can keep us more humble and protect our hearts from being calloused and hardened. Let’s stay true in this season and be open to what God may have for us just around the corner.
Photo Credit: ©iStock/Getty Images Plus/fizkes
