Dear Grieving Heart,
This Valentine’s Day looks a lot different than past years, doesn’t it? You wish you could go back in time and experience those precious moments once again, moments of carefree love and joy. Please know, I want this for you too.
Although I cannot remove the grief from your heart, I can offer you the most trusted Source of comfort you’ll ever receive. As 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 says, “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.”
Please let this passage cover your fragile heart today. Receive the Father’s compassion and feel His comfort like never before.
Here are a few things to keep in mind, not only for Valentine’s Day but in the months and years to come:
Well-meaning people don’t understand your ongoing grief. In their minds, you ought to be “over it” by now. Dear girl, please don’t take it personally; they simply don’t know. They don’t understand that grief doesn’t have a set timeline. The waves of sorrow rise and fall differently for everyone, so allow yourself all the time you need.
As fresh tides of sadness come in, hold on tightly to your life raft - Jesus. Just as a lifeguard extends a rescue device to someone who is in danger of drowning, Jesus extends His loving hand of support, keeping your head above the waves. Cling to Jesus; He is with you and loves you.
One day, when the ocean waters are calm and peaceful, and they will be, allow yourself to sit in the warm rays of the sun, basking in the peace of God’s presence. Remember that only He can provide the indescribable joy you long for most, and by His Spirit, He will fill your heart to the brim.
Dear Grieving Heart, please don’t worry about someone else’s timeline. Let grief take its course as you depend fully on God. Especially on Valentine’s Day, let yourself feel all the “feels” while holding fast to Jesus. He’s got this. He’s got you.
As I mentioned before, people don’t always understand how grief works. After a time, they might even forget that you’re still recovering from a precious loss. Instead of letting this cause anger or resentment, why don’t you reach out and let them know how you feel?
I realize this is a vulnerable thing to do, but it’s okay to reach out to trusted friends and family members, letting them know you’re still hurting. Ask if they would like to look through old photos with you or watch a home movie. Bring out a box of memorabilia as you share the memories attached to the keepsakes.
It’s okay to reach out again when needed. Please don’t feel shy about letting others know you need their support. Even a quiet, listening ear can be just what you need for this time. Do you have someone to listen? I am praying for that person to give you their undivided attention and listen with genuine, loving empathy. And remember, God wants to hear from you as well. Even though He knows every detail of your grief, He is patient and kind and willing to listen. After all, He is not only your good, good Father, He is your faithful friend.
In Psalm 66:19-20, the Psalmist said, “God has surely listened and has heard my prayer. Praise be to God, who has not rejected my prayer or withheld his love from me!” Surely, God listens when you pray. He will never reject you or tell you to get over it. His love surrounds you like a warm blanket of peace and comfort. So go to Him this Valentine’s Day and tell Him all about your sorrow. He loves you; He hears you.
The sad thing about grief is it has a way of making you feel hopeless, as if nothing will ever be good again. If this describes you, please know there is always, always hope. Remember the familiar words God told the prophet Jeremiah when he was faced with unimaginable loss: “For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” If God spoke these words of blessing over a young prophet amid turmoil, can He not speak words of powerful blessing to you as well?
Dear Grieving Heart, please pay attention to what God is speaking over your life. He doesn’t want you to feel hopeless in your grief. Instead, He wants you to abound with hope as you believe that He can take what you’ve committed to Him. Have you committed your grief to Him?
Make this Valentine’s Day a day of surrender. Open your hands as a symbol of releasing all of your sorrow to Him. Feel the Lord carrying your burdens as you come under His yoke of ease and light. You are not on this journey alone. Jesus has promised to be with you, and He knows better than anyone the road of sorrow and grief. Isaiah 53:3 describes Him this way: “He is despised and rejected by men, a Man of sorrows and acquainted with grief.”
Walk with Jesus, hand in hand, under the yoke of His help and hope. Let Him carry the heaviest parts of grief for you as you simply abide in Him. He knows all about it and sympathizes with you now.
Sometimes, grief can cause feelings of mistrust. In the depths of your pain, you might wonder…
Will God come through for me?
Will He let me down?
Has He forgotten me?
When your mind fills with cycling thoughts of doubt, try to recognize those thoughts as arrows from the enemy. The adversary knows when you’re down, and that’s when he takes his aim. Hold up your shield of faith - even faith as small as a mustard seed - and watch those arrows bounce right off.
My friend, you can trust the God of all comfort. He will always come through for you; He will never let you down according to His good, pleasing, and perfect will. Dare to let your heart trust Him this Valentine’s Day. Ask Jesus to open wide your heart to receive the healing balm of peace and comfort that only He can give.
As your heart begins to heal, let 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 become a life passage for you. Here it is again: “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.”
Consider writing these verses on index cards and placing them in prominent places around your house and workplace. Read the words often and pray them aloud. Feel that renewed glimmer of hope you get when you finally trust God to comfort you in all of your troubles.
If it’s helpful, write a simple acrostic for the word C-O-M-F-O-R-T. For each letter of the word, write a powerful reminder of God’s loving care. For example:
C = continual comfort and peace
O = overwhelming joy and gratitude
M = more help when needed
F = faithful Father and friend
O = only by His grace
R = redeemed by His love
T = trusting Him in all things
Truly, I pray for God’s comfort to be felt tangibly this Valentine’s Day. Like a daddy who puts his arm around his daughter’s shoulder and walks with her through the valley, I pray this will be your experience of our loving Abba Father.
Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/Maryviolet