You have spent so much time comparing your gifts, accomplishments, and skills to others that you are not fully celebrating how God currently uses you for His glory.
Accepted. Chosen. Loved. Valued.
These four words come to mind when I think about how I want to feel on Valentine’s Day. As I have gotten older and celebrated several Valentine’s Days, I am grateful my compulsive desire to be chosen and seen has significantly waned. Age and experience have a way of bringing a fresh perspective and shifting priorities. I am now confident that God’s love, acceptance, and value of me are sufficient. Trust me. It is a continual work in progress, but I am grateful that I am not where I used to be. Nevertheless, just to be clear, Valentine’s Day is still a big deal. If I were to write a letter to my younger self, it would read something like this:
Dear Kirstyn,
Valentine’s Day is quickly approaching, and stores are filled with cards, flowers, candy, and teddy bears. It is a holiday designated to show appreciation and love to those who matter most. For the longest time, I wanted a man to see me and spoil me on this special day. While it is wonderful to be spoiled and appreciated by a spouse, significant other, or family member, do not forget to celebrate, appreciate, and love yourself. Celebrate the unique ways God has created you and His purpose for you. Celebrate the gifts you have and speak life to your spirit. Do not wait for someone to buy you flowers or say, “I love you” to feel complete or whole. God unconditionally loves you, and it is essential to receive His love daily. Know that you are fearfully and wonderfully made in God’s image (Psalm 139:14).
When I reflect on Valentine’s Day over the years, I see that its meaning has evolved through the various seasons of my life. Despite the numerous ways Valentine’s Day has been expressed over the years, the constant theme is that I long to be seen, valued, chosen, and accepted.
In elementary school, I waited anxiously to give and receive heart-shaped Valentine’s Day cards and candy from my peers.
In adolescence, I longed for my favorite crush to notice me or write me an "I like you" note.
In college, I longed to have a God-fearing boyfriend and not be the girl placed in the never-ending friend zone.
Now that I have been happily married to my husband for fifteen years, and we have two active children, Valentine’s Day is still exciting, but my expectations have shifted.
I enjoy being pampered and celebrated by those who love me, but I am not waiting for that outward sign to validate my identity. I want to encourage you and remind you to:
Celebrate Who God Created You to Be
When I take a picture of myself, I must “approve” it before it is posted on social media. It is an understanding from my family members to check with me before posting. The picture must be approved by the standards I have set. The picture must have the right angle, lighting, or minimal facial issues like pimples. LOL. Celebrate how God created you with flaws and all. Perfection is not possible so enjoy how God uniquely created you to be. Celebrate and give thanks for the uniqueness of your body, mind, and spirit. Instead of trying to create the “perfect” image or persona to be liked and accepted, begin to love and accept your God-created image, just as you are. God loves and accepts you just as you are, and it is time for you to love yourself and see yourself as God sees you.
Practice speaking daily, positive affirmations and life-giving Scriptures that reinforce and remind you of God’s unconditional love for you. No amount of filtering or adjusting a photo will replace how God feels about you and how you should view and celebrate yourself. Spend more time celebrating and telling yourself how beautiful you are, and that God created a unique original when He made you. Instead of waiting for someone to say, see, and appreciate you, look in the mirror and tell yourself you are loved.
Celebrate Your Gifts
You have spent so much time comparing your gifts, accomplishments, and skills to others that you are not fully celebrating how God currently uses you for His glory. Do not be so hard on yourself and become your harshest critic and forget to pause and celebrate how far you have come, your progress, and the many ways you are already using your gifts for His glory and to advance God’s kingdom. Your gifts are diverse and necessary, and God does not want you to shrink back when using them. Use your gifts with boldness and love the many skills and talents God has blessed you with.
Celebrate What Brings You Joy
While you are pouring out and sharing your love and appreciation with everyone else, do not forget to do something that brings you joy or uplifts your spirit. I enjoy selecting cards for others. I am the person who will take several minutes in the card aisle browsing cards until I find the “perfect” words that reflect how I feel or what I want to express to the recipient. I am an encourager, and I take immense pride in being able to uplift someone else. However, I do not always give myself that same energy, time, and attention.
You deserve that same level of enthusiasm to be given to yourself. So, permit yourself to:
-Buy yourself a card
-Buy your favorite flowers
-Indulge in your favorite sweet treat or meal (without guilt)
-Have a personal spa day
-Read
-Sit in silence
-Journal
-Take a walk
Why is celebrating what brings you joy important?
You matter. You are enough. You are precious in God’s sight. Your cup deserves to be full. Your physical, emotional, and mental health and well-being matter. Your joy matters, and above all, you are fearfully and wonderfully made in God’s image.
Smile More
While I know God has wired you to be a driven, vision-oriented person with great responsibilities, do not forget to smile. Do not become so consumed with your never-ending to-do list and desire to want to know the outcome of every life situation that you do not laugh and smile. Smile at your quirks and the mistakes you have made along the way. Smile at your favorite movie that you have seen for the fifth time in a row. Smile at the rom-com movies you have watched, dreaming for your future mate. Smile at the NOs that hurt at the moment but were divinely given by God to protect you and were the precursor for His absolute best for you. Smile at the extra skin, extra weight, small pimples, and gray sprinkles in your hair. All those things are sweet reminders that you are still here and of God’s faithfulness through different seasons. Smile at the relationships that did not work, which prepared you for the ones that did. Smile for how God continues to work things out repeatedly, even when you did not think He could.
As you browse the Valentine’s Day card section this year and look for the perfect gift for your family member or significant other, do not forget to celebrate and love yourself. You are worthy of all the love, joy, and appreciation you can stand. God loves you with everlasting love (Jeremiah 31:3), and you deserve to celebrate who God called you to be. Celebrate your flaws, do what brings you joy, and smile more. I know my Heavenly Father loves, accepts, chooses, and values me just as I am.
Love,
Kirstyn
Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/CarlosDavid.org
