During the Christmas season, it is not hard to feel alone. We often think the Christmas season is filled with love and comfort; however, for many people, it is a time of year that makes them feel alone. Even if you are around a large family, you still can feel alone at times. For many people who don’t have any family, it can make them feel even more alone on Christmas. When we either feel alone or are alone during the Christmas holiday, it can feel awful. It is at these times that we need help in remembering how to enjoy the Christmas season when we are alone.
Without sounding too much like a Debbie Downer, it is important to learn how to enjoy your own company when you are feeling alone. This applies not only to the Christmas season but in all the seasons of life. Enjoying your own company can look like practicing self-care, taking time to do things you enjoy, and fighting back against negative thoughts. Just because you are feeling alone or are physically alone during Christmas doesn’t mean it will be a bad year. God is with you all the time, even when nobody else is around. He promises to never leave you (Hebrews 13:5).
Remember this truth when you are feeling alone. God loves you, and even though you cannot see Him, He is there. Allow Him to surround you with His love. Whenever I’m feeling particularly alone, I talk to God, and I don’t feel as alone anymore. Maybe this can be something you do when you are feeling alone. As soon as you talk with God, you will feel much better and be able to get a lot of things off your chest.
We often tell God more things than we tell others because we know He will listen without judgment. God wants to hear about your day, your worries, your concerns, and your fears. There is nothing that is off-limits for God. Even if you don’t feel comfortable sharing your feelings with others, know that you can always talk with God in prayer. You can be completely raw and honest in your prayers. Nothing is “too big” for God.
We often talk a lot about feeling alone even when we are around people and what we can do to feel better; however, not many talk about what to do when you are physically alone during the Christmas season. As an example, my dad had a friend, who was an honorary uncle to my sisters and me. He passed away a few years ago; however, throughout all the years of my life and even before I was born, my mom and dad would purchase Christmas presents for my uncle as well and my mom would make him a plate of food for him to have for Christmas dinner.
My dad would also spend a few hours with him on Christmas to help him not feel as alone. In all these things, my parents wanted to help my uncle not feel alone on Christmas because nobody wants to be alone on the holidays. The sad reality is that there are more people like my uncle than not. Numerous people are spending Christmas alone this year because they don’t have any family or friends who want to spend time with them. If you know someone like my uncle, maybe you could invite them to have Christmas dinner with you or maybe you could get them a few Christmas presents.
On the other hand, if you are the person who is spending Christmas alone this year, I understand how hard that is. Maybe your family has all passed away or you have family issues. Know that it is okay to grieve on Christmas and it is okay to feel your feelings. When you start trying to suppress your feelings, you are going to run into more problems. Allow yourself to grieve and feel whatever feelings you are feeling. There is nothing wrong or “sinful” about feeling your emotions and allowing yourself to grieve.
It is also important to know that if you are physically alone, you can still have a good Christmas if you feel up to it. In addition to enjoying your own company and talking with God throughout your day, you can have your own celebration of the Lord’s birth. Decorate your Christmas tree and play some Christmas music or worship music. Make the inside of your home feel like a winter wonderland. String lights, Christmas decor, and candy canes can really make a world of difference. Just a small change such as this can help you feel much better and happier.
For your Christmas dinner, you can make whatever you want to eat. Most of the time, families have traditional Christmas-themed meals; however, you can choose whatever you want. Even if you just want a simple meal of grilled cheese and soup, that’s alright. Or maybe you want to be more elaborate and daring. If so, try to make something that you really want to try or something that is more unique compared to what you normally eat on Christmas.
Granted, eating alone is depressing; however, sometimes you have to eat alone. Play music while you are eating your Christmas dinner. You could even listen to a podcast or watch your favorite Christmas movie. Ultimately, it is up to you and what you decide to do. Furthermore, know that it is okay to sit out Christmas social functions this year if you don’t feel up to it. This goes for if you are alone this Christmas or if you are dreading a huge family get-together. The decision is yours and nobody else’s.
Being alone on Christmas can feel terrible, but there are many things you can do to help you not feel as alone this holiday season. Aim to try to do something you enjoy on Christmas or something that brings up nostalgic memories. If all of your loved ones have passed away, maybe you could visit their graves and leave flowers on Christmas. My family and I leave flowers for my mom every year around Christmas as a way to remember her. It can help you feel as though your deceased loved ones are still loved, known, and not forgotten.
If this is your first Christ alone because you went through a breakup or a divorce, allow yourself time to grieve. It is okay not to feel in the Christmas spirit after going through heartbreak. If you feel up to it, you can try to do some holiday events or activities but don’t put yourself under any pressure to have to be involved in these activities if you don’t feel up to it. Your heart and emotional state will be very fragile after going through a breakup or divorce; therefore, it is important to know your own boundaries and not go beyond them in order to preserve your own well-being.
No matter the reason you are alone this year, know that you are never really alone. God is always with you, and He will never walk away. Other people might leave, but God won’t ever leave us. He is with us through all of our days, even on our darkest days. Christmas is a day to celebrate the anniversary of the Lord’s birth into the world, and even if you are alone or grieving, know that your heart can still worship the Lord.
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