I often tell others not to be too hard on themselves, but I struggle to take my own advice. Any perceived failure is added to a running list of things I planned to accomplish but didn’t. This includes New Year’s resolutions.
I’m discovering the hard way that resolutions aren’t for me. While goal-setting is awesome and to-do lists are helpful, making promises to achieve something by year’s end feels more burdensome than beneficial.
If this resonates with you, keep reading. I’m about to share some encouraging tips and resources to help make your year fun and productive—with or without resolutions.
My youngest son is a rewards-type guy. When he was still at home, we used incentives to encourage him to do his chores and finish his schoolwork. Even now, he seems to gravitate toward reward-based solutions.
Whether you’re motivated by incentives or not, turning larger resolutions into smaller rewards can make your goals much more attainable. Here are a few examples:
-Turn your weight loss goal of losing 20 pounds into manageable five-pound increments. Reward each milestone with a relaxing massage.
-Reframe your goal of saving $1,200 in a year to saving $25 each week. Reward yourself with a personal day off.
-Revise your plans of reorganizing the entire house to decluttering one small space per week. Reward yourself with a new wall hanging or decorative bin.
The key is to stop feeling overwhelmed by resolutions and start being motivated by them. Choose whatever reward system works best for you. At the very least, simplify your goals and set achievable milestones for greater success.
I’ve taken just about every personality test out there... twice! I love learning more about why I do what I do, and most of the results have been spot-on. Discovering my personality style has helped me determine resolutions aren’t for me. I’m not a stick-to-a-schedule type of person; I’m a daydreamer and creative thinker. Because of this, I hold my goals loosely and give myself permission to pivot at any moment.
What about you? Do you know your personality style? Here are a few common ones that have been around for decades:
-Choleric: Driven and motivated, this personality type is fueled by goals and objectives. However, they sometimes push beyond their limits, leading to burnout.
-Melancholic: Sensitive and prone to overthinking, this personality type is cautious about goal setting but also leans toward perfectionism.
-Sanguine: Optimistic and enthusiastic, this personality type is the first to jump into something. But they can also be impulsive, leading to rash decisions and overcommitment.
Phlegmatic: Easygoing and dependable, this personality type is reliable but also struggles with peacekeeping—sometimes to a fault.
The Psalmist speaks about our God-given individuality in Psalm 139:14, saying, “I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.” And speaking of the Body of Christ, 1 Corinthians 12:17-20 says, “If the whole body were an eye, where would be the sense of hearing? If the whole body were an ear, where would be the sense of smell? But as it is, God arranged the members in the body, each one of them, as he chose. If all were a single member, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts, yet one body.”
The Lord knew what He was doing when He created us with unique personality styles, and knowing more about our strengths and weaknesses is highly beneficial when it comes to New Year’s resolutions. Here are some examples:
-For the driven and motivated, you love resolutions and usually complete them before year’s end.
-For the sensitive overthinker, your resolutions need to remain flexible and done at your own pace.
-For the optimistic and enthusiastic, your resolutions must bring a sense of joy—even if you don’t complete them.
-For the easygoing and dependable, your resolutions might need more time, but you’re at peace no matter what.
If you’re like me and prefer not to make resolutions at all, accept this as one of your unique personality traits. Instead, focus on mini goals achieved at your own pace, and allow yourself plenty of creativity to reframe them if needed.
Jesus spent a fair amount of time telling His followers not to worry. He mentioned their daily needs such as clothing and food, and at the end of His teaching He said, “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own” (Matthew 6:34).
When taking this passage to heart, we’re reminded that today is all we have; tomorrow is not guaranteed. It’s okay to live in the present, being fully engaged with the people, places, and things right in front of you.
Here are a few Scripture passages that encourage intentional living:
“The Lord has done it this very day; let us rejoice today and be glad.” Psalm 118:24
“Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life.” Psalm 143:8
“Now listen, you who say, ‘Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.’ Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, ‘If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.’” James 4:13-15
“Take care, brothers and sisters, that there will not be in any one of you an evil, unbelieving heart that falls away from the living God. But encourage one another every day, as long as it is still called ‘today,’ so that none of you will be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin. For we have become partakers of Christ if we keep the beginning of our commitment firm until the end.” Hebrews 3:12-14 (NASB)
Making New Year’s resolutions can be motivating, and for some, they provide just the challenge needed to make necessary changes. For others, however, a simpler approach is needed. One that creates margin, flexibility, and creativity. If this describes you, it’s okay to admit, “Resolutions aren’t for me!”
Heavenly Father, I come before You today seeking Your grace and mercy. I acknowledge my imperfections and the moments when I fall short of my goals and resolutions. Please remind me of Your continual love and grace, not dependent on my achievements, but fully dependent on the finished work of Your Son. Remind me that resolutions are not vows, but personal goals that can be changed at any time. Relieve the pressure to perform and help me live with intentionality day by day. In Jesus’ holy name, amen.
More Resources for Your Journey:
6 Reasons to Give Up on Your New Year's Resolutions
A Better Way to Make Bible-Reading Resolutions
10 Better Ways to Change Your Life Than Resolutions
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