Living with depression is difficult any time of year; however, it can be particularly hard to navigate during the holidays. During the holiday season, friends and family expect us to be happy, excited, and bubbly, which can often be impossible for those of us who struggle with depression. Personally, ever since I started struggling with depression, the holidays have felt like more of a hurdle to jump than a joyous occasion. Maybe you have also felt the same way and you are trying to figure out how to navigate these feelings during the holidays. If so, read on.
Depression is a mood disorder that many people will experience throughout their lives. Some people have situational depression; whereas, others can struggle with long-term, chronic depression. I struggle with the latter and every day can feel like a challenge. A simple task such as doing laundry can feel like climbing Mount Everest. If you are finding yourself in a similar situation this holiday season, know that you are not alone. You might feel alone as you see everyone smiling around you at all the festivities but know that you are never alone in your struggles.
As you begin the task of navigating depression during the holidays, it is important to remember that God is always with you. He is our Good Shepherd and He will faithfully walk beside us (Psalm 23). It can feel at times that we are alone or nobody understands our struggles, yet God understands each feeling we have. Every depressive thought, every pain, and every tear does not go unnoticed by God. He sees your pain and He is walking with you through it. God never promises to take us out of hard situations, but He promises to stay by our side through all of it.
It is comforting to know that we are never truly alone because God is always with us. Depression causes us to feel hopeless or to feel as though nothing good will ever happen again. These are negative thoughts and they are not true. There is hope in your future and good things will happen again. Even if these things might not happen in our earthly lives, we know that we are looking forward to our forever home with God in His Heavenly Kingdom (Hebrews 11:16). In our forever home with God, we know that there will no longer be any feelings of sadness, hopelessness, or despair (Revelation 21:4).
Looking forward to our eternal home, we know that there will be happiness, peace, and love. Depression steals your joy and can take away the happiness you once had for certain events, activities, and hobbies. As an example, I used to love drawing and coloring; however, since struggling with depression, I no longer see the point in doing these things. Although these things were once a huge interest of mine, I no longer have the same excitement I once had surrounding drawing and coloring.
Maybe you can identify something in your life that depression has taken away from you. It could be your love for music, your love for the outdoors, or your love for getting together with loved ones. Possibly, it could be your love for the holidays. As mentioned earlier, for many of us depression steals the joy we once had for the holidays. Instead of a day of joy and celebration, depression causes us to see the holidays as a source of sadness, sorrow, or hopelessness. If this is true for you, know that depression is a mood disorder; therefore, there is not an easy fix to it. Know also that you did nothing wrong to suffer from depression. It is not a sin to struggle with depression.
Furthermore, no amount of praying will permanently heal you of your depression if it's not God's will for you on earth. While it is true that God has the power to do this, He doesn’t always choose to work in the world in this way today. Rather, He walks with us through our depression and He will always refresh our weary souls. If you choose to sit out the holidays this year, know that is okay and completely valid. However, if you choose to participate, know that it is okay to not have the same joyful spirit as you did in previous years. Your loved ones shouldn’t push you to be happy or joyful when you are struggling with depression.
This leads us to the importance of knowing how to help loved ones during the holiday season. If your loved one struggles with depression, don’t push them or pressure them to come to events if they don’t want to. Always invite them, but don’t make them feel bad if they decide not to come. Often those of us who struggle with depression don’t feel up to coming to events, and it is common for us to distance ourselves from others.
It isn’t anything personal against you. Rather, it is just a byproduct of the depression itself. However, it is good to invite your loved ones with depression to holiday events because if you just assume they don’t want to come, it could hurt their feelings and make them feel more depressed. When you are sending out invites, send one to your loved ones who struggle with depression, but don’t take it the wrong way if they don’t come. Choose to continue to show them love and support no matter what they decide.
Navigating the holidays is a challenge in itself, yet it is much more difficult when you are struggling with depression. This is crucial to remember when you are trying to help your loved one this holiday season. If they decide to come to the holiday events, show extra care, love, and compassion to them. Make sure they know you are happy to see them. Even if they don’t talk much or engage much, still make them feel valued and cared about. Personally, just being around people can help me feel better during a depressive episode even if I’m not up to talking or participating in activities.
The holiday season can bring up many mixed emotions for individuals and it is best to keep things lighthearted. Don’t try to go deep into their trauma or what caused them to develop depression. Your loved one is most likely talking with a therapist or a doctor about their struggles, and they would prefer you not to bring up these heavy topics. Keep things fun and lighthearted while you are having your holiday celebrations. This can help your loved one struggling with depression feel much better about their surroundings.
Avoid starting arguments or family drama too because this can also worsen someone’s depression. Those of us who struggle with depression often have low self-esteem and can feel as though when something bad happens, it is our fault. Therefore, it is best to avoid starting heated debates or arguments because it will make everyone feel uncomfortable, especially your loved one who is struggling with depression. Try to keep things fun, festive, and celebrating the Lord. All of these things can help your loved one who is struggling with depression.
Whether you are struggling with depression this year or your loved one is, know that there is hope for the future. The days won’t always feel this long and dark. It might take some time, but know that God is always there with you. He is with you on the holidays as well as on every single day of the year. Turn to Him and know that He is always listening to your prayers.
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