With difficult family members, we may need God's help along the way. Here are six prayers to pray when family causes anxiety during the holidays.
During the holidays, it is common for relatives to come in to visit family. But this could be especially difficult if there are family members you simply don't get along with. The holidays can be a stressful time because of this. It can also bring up emotional baggage, especially if the last interaction you had was a disagreement, resulting in an unresolved conflict. However, the holidays don’t have to be stressful. The holidays can be a great time not only to celebrate these special moments in our lives but also to get to know our family in new and exciting ways. Whatever the situation, we are called to reflect Christlike character. But with difficult family members, we may need God's help along the way. Here are six prayers to pray when family causes anxiety during the holidays:
1. Lord, help me reflect you.
All of us can treat family members poorly during the holiday season. Undue stress, financial burdens, and anxiety from seeing people we have not seen in a long time can all cause stress. It can also cause us to say and do things that would be not like Christ. Yet, as Christians, we are called to reflect Christ in everything we say and do. Pray and ask God to help us reflect him in every situation. Above all, let us love others the way we would want to be loved. The golden rule is true for anyone, especially family members: “So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets” (Matthew 7:12). If we treat others with love and respect, it increases the chances of other family members treating us the same way.
2. Lord, help me to be kind.
Galatians 5:22-23 outlines the qualities of someone who has the Holy Spirit: “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things, there is no law.” Although we are a work in progress, it is important we work on displaying the fruits of the spirit with everyone, including difficult family members. In a situation where a family member is gossiping or slandering another family member, what should we do? Join in on the gossip, or rather display kindness and walk away or gentleness by changing the subject of the conversation. We can show the fruits of the spirit not only with words but also with our actions. Can we give up our seat to a family member who’s having difficulty with pain? Can we start a conversation with someone who we know doesn't like us? Although these things are difficult to do in the moment, with God's help and prayer, we can do all things with Christ’s help. In the end, we may reap the benefits of a nice conversation, but best of all, do it for the glory of God.
3. Lord, help me to love them.
While Christ spent time and ministry on earth, he performed many miracles. But he also had many difficult conversations with the Pharisees. His conversations became so difficult they plotted to kill him! Yet, whether it was speaking the truth in love or displaying God's power to people who needed it the most, Christ displayed unconditional love to everyone, even to the people he found most difficult. If he can love people who he knew would kill him, we can do the same. We can bear our cross and have conversations with people who are otherwise difficult to get along with. Although some conversations may need a gentle rebuke, we can simply nod and smile and positively interact with people, knowing the holiday season is a short one.
4. Lord, let me get to know them.
In some situations, people are difficult because they feel unseen, unheard, or unappreciated. Sometimes, the best thing we can do is to intentionally get to know someone better. Seek to hear another family member’s story. 2 Corinthians 3:18 demonstrates our need to be fully known by God: “And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.” Ask questions and be curious about their lives. Don't worry about telling them parts of your life, but rather seek to get to know them. Sometimes, their story explains why they can be difficult. When we get to know someone more intimately, sometimes their demeanor changes. Jesus took the time to meet people's deepest needs. Everyone has a deep longing to be known and know others. When we seek beyond our own needs to be known and rather get to know someone else, we meet their needs in a similar way that Jesus met others’ needs while he was here on earth.
5. Lord, be with me.
Sometimes, the best prayers are simply ones where we know Christ is with us. When we ask Him to join us around the dinner table for an interaction, it is a tool for accountability like no other. When we believe Jesus is sitting next to us, listening to our conversations, we choose our words carefully. Christ promises to be with us in every situation: “When two or three are gathered, there I am with them…” Pretend Jesus is sitting next to you at the dinner table. Who do you think he would speak to the most? Who do you think he would display the Holy Spirit to who needs it? Ask for his guidance. Jesus knows the big picture of every person. Ministering to people at a dinner table may not seem like ministry, yet it can be. Jesus loves it when we display the fruits of the spirit to others. Sometimes, we need a push from the spirit to simply do the work of displaying Christlike quality and character to others.
6. Lord, let them know the gospel.
Although this is not the ultimate goal, it is important for family members, especially those who are unsaved, to know Jesus. We don't want to get to know people simply to convert them to our way of thinking but rather to know the risen Savior. If conversations don't go as we would like, go to a quiet place and simply pray that the family members who don't know Jesus will come to know him. Pray for renewed minds, transformed hearts, and a life that reflects him. Find ways to testify to God's goodness in your life. Although some may be turned off by our words, others may suddenly become more intrigued. We may be surprised to find ourselves engrossed in a spiritual conversation simply because of our testimony.
The holidays are a great time to get together with family members near and far. But for some, the holidays may bring with it sadness, angst, and anxiety. As with anything in life, give your concerns over to God. Pray for each family member who attends your holiday dinner. Pray for salvation, for special conversations, and a chance to reflect your character to them. Pray that not only will you be changed, but they will be changed, too, as a result.
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