Take the stress off you and your family by not allowing your happiness to be based on where you are or who you are around on Christmas Day, but rather focus your attention on celebrating the Savior who lives in your heart.
Christmas is a time when the family gets together to talk, eat, and laugh. For some families, it's the only time they see each other throughout the year. Holidays can be precious moments with the ones we love. However, that's not always the case for everyone. Long distances, illness, and financial struggles (among other issues) can make getting home for the holidays too difficult for some. This can feel discouraging if you know you cannot make it home for Christmas.
But Christmas is so much more than gifts or eating Christmas dinner. If you cannot be home for Christmas, there’s hope. By shifting your perspective on the real reason for the season, a Christmas away from home might actually be a good thing.
Here are six bits of encouragement for those who can't be home for Christmas:
1. It’s All Going to Be Okay
The most important thing to understand during the holidays is that it will be okay. Your holiday is not ruined because you can't be near loved ones. Christmas is about giving of yourself to people you love. It's about giving thoughtful gifts to make that special someone's life a bit better, as well as to show appreciation for their presence in your life. Just because you don't have Grandma’s special Christmas cookies to eat, your budget is tighter this year, or you won't be able to watch loved ones open gifts this year, that doesn't mean you can't have a great holiday. Shipping prices have skyrocketed due to inflation. If you can't ship gifts this year, make a donation in your family's name to their favorite charity or spend the day donating your time to others who don't have a home for Christmas, like a homeless shelter, food pantry, or clothes closet.
2. Even Jesus Didn’t Have a Home to Go To
If you are feeling particularly discouraged because you can't go home for Christmas, consider Jesus's story. He wasn't born in a nice, warm home surrounded by friends and family. On the contrary, he was born to a virgin who was ridiculed and mocked for being pregnant in a barn surrounded by dirty animals. Not exactly the ideal circumstances for a king, are they? Although it's ideal to be near family for the holidays, Jesus teaches us that our family members are those who do the will of his Father in heaven. If you are part of a local church body, ask some trusted church members to consider having you over for Christmas. Offer to make one of your family's traditional dishes and share it with your church family. You may discover an enriching experience that may be different than past years but proves a rewarding experience and perhaps may make new traditions to celebrate for years to come.
3. You Are Not Alone
No matter where you are for Christmas, you're not alone. Even if you have no one to share Christmas with and are eating a frozen dinner in front of the TV, Jesus is right there with you. If you are feeling particularly lonely, let the tears flow. Use it as an opportunity to cry out to God and tell him about every emotion you're experiencing. Jesus came to earth to be the Savior to all of us. This includes the moments when we feel lonely or forgotten. Jesus understands what this feels like as he was born alone and forgotten by society. Think of this as an opportunity to spend the day alone with Jesus. Spend time in his Word, pray and listen for his voice, and commune with him in a special way. The Holy Spirit lives within your heart. Live every day with that understanding, and you'll never feel alone.
4. Be There in Spirit
Just because you can't be physically present for Christmas doesn't mean you can't be there in spirit. Reflect on past Christmases you've shared with your family. What traditions do they hold dear? What type of activities do they like to do on Christmas Day? Christmas Eve? Can you re-create those where you are so that it's like you're there with them? Set up a zoom call where you can be present with them eating dinner at your place while they're eating dinner at theirs. Invite people over to where you are staying and watch the same programs, drink the same drinks and play the same board games.
5. You Are Missed
Your family may express great sadness at the fact you cannot be there for Christmas. While it may make you feel guilty for not being able to be there, understand that their sadness is underlying grief that they cannot be with you. As much as you miss them, understand they miss you just as much.
Having said this, Christmas is not the only time you spend with family members. We all could spend more time with the people we love rather than on our screens or our phones. Make a point to call your family once or twice a month that way, if you can't be home with them, you can at least catch up in a personal way and let them know that their presence in your life is a joy to you.
6. You Can Always Go Home Again
Even if you can't make it home on December 25th, there are always opportunities to come home. Do your best to see if you can reschedule for a time other than Christmas when you can come home and spend time with people. Christmas is often a stressful time when people have to split their time between families. You may not get as much quality time as you would like with your loved ones on Christmas Day as you would by going another day instead. You may get more quality time and attention with more members of your family on a date other than Christmas.
Try to schedule another time when you can come out on a day when most family members can gather. Do what you can to work around their schedule and be flexible and exercise grace. Or do the opposite and spend the day visiting individual family members. Having large crowds gather in one place can bring a new type of stress to the situation. By meeting with individual people, you can have great, intimate conversations that you won't experience in a larger crowd.
Although Christmas can be a special day filled with warm family memories, don't place all your focus on being with family or re-creating a magical day from your past. By exercising flexibility and creativity, you might be able to create many special days with your family members, even if one of those days doesn't land on December 25th. Take the stress off you and your family by not allowing your happiness to be based on where you are or who you are around on Christmas Day, but rather focus your attention on celebrating the Savior who lives in your heart.
Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/Kerkez
