Perfectionism is something I used to struggle with to a great extent in my teens. Anything less than perfect was deemed as “not good enough.” As a Christian and an adult now, I have been able to understand that perfection is not attainable. None of us are perfect because only God is perfect. To say otherwise would be to call God a liar.
Since none of us are perfect, trying to achieve perfection is out of the question. There is absolutely no way for us to achieve perfection because we are all fallen. All of us sin, and we all fall short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23). The Bible tells us directly, “As it is written: ‘There is no one righteous, not even one’” (Romans 3:10). As the Bible tells us, we all fall short and not one of us is righteous. We need to keep this in mind when we are striving for perfection.
Perfectionism and Its Problems
While many people think perfectionism is a good thing, it actually isn’t. Perfectionism has the capacity to destroy your entire life. It will cause you to have immense anxiety and cause you to spiral downward if things don’t go exactly as you want them to go. As I mentioned earlier, I struggled with perfectionism for many years. Even into my early twenties, I still struggled with this way of thinking because I so badly felt that I needed to prove myself to others.
If I didn’t get an A on all my coursework in college, I felt like a failure. Even a B was enough to make me cry because I felt I was not “good enough.” As a college friend told me many years ago, none of us are good enough, which is why we need Jesus. In Jesus, we are good enough because He is more than enough. At the time, this was a new way of thinking to me because I felt we had to always strive to do everything perfectly. The truth of the matter is that none of us can do everything perfectly. We can try our best, and at the end of the day, that is what really matters.
Turning Away from Perfectionism This New Year
When you step into this new year, choose to toss out perfectionism. It is not attainable, therefore, there is no reason to endlessly wear yourself out every day trying to achieve it. At the start of a new year, many people choose to make New Year's resolutions. Maybe tossing out perfectionism could be one for you to try this year. Many people choose to lose weight or drink more water each day. While these things are common New Year's resolutions, try to toss out perfectionism as it will help you in more ways than some of your other resolutions have in the past. It will help you not only for the present year but also in years to come.
I understand tossing out perfectionism is no easy task. After all, it could be that you have been struggling with perfectionism for a long time. For myself, what helped best was to stop cold turkey. Each time perfectionistic thoughts came into my mind, I would talk back to them and say that I didn’t need to do those things anymore. As an example, there was a time within the past few years when I didn’t complete a task in the exact “right way” that I had planned. I was planning a birthday party and I wanted everything to be just right.
Even though I had taken great strides in going against the perfectionism in my head, I still noticed the feelings of inadequacy crept into my heart when I didn’t plan the birthday party “perfectly.” The streamers were the wrong colors, I had ordered the wrong cake, and some of the gifts I had ordered had yet to arrive. I was in a panic because I felt that somehow all of the things that went wrong were my fault and showed a lack of my character. This is, of course, not true; however, when you are dealing with perfectionism, simple tasks can feel overwhelming because if they are not done “perfectly,” you feel you have failed.
This is one of many reasons why perfectionism needs to be tossed this year. There is no room for perfectionism in your life because it will only cause you unwanted anxiety, stress, and overthinking. For this New Year, I want you to imagine how much better your year will be without perfectionism. Imagine yourself not struggling with perfectionism, and when you mess up on something, it’s not a big deal. More than that, your day will not spiral downward if you make a mistake.
Being Human and Resting in Christ
The truth is that we all make mistakes and we all mess up. It’s part of being human. Nobody is inferior or “less than” because they make more mistakes. As someone who makes mistakes all the time, I understand that my worth is not tied to how well I do a task, how productive I am, or how successful I am in life. Instead, I know my worth is found in Christ. I encourage you with this same truth. Your worth is found in Christ—not in what you do, your appearance, or how successful you are. Perfectionism tries to cause us to strive after all these things, but at the end of our lives, we will see that perfectionism never really helped us in any way.
Therefore, choose to toss out perfectionism this New Year. Your New Year will be filled with much more magical memories, smiles, and lasting joy when you choose to step away from perfectionism. You might think perfectionism helps you or causes you to be motivated to do more things, but it actually hinders your life. Not to mention the truth that perfection is not reasonable. None of us can achieve perfection because we are all fallen.
Through Jesus, we are given forgiveness, redemption, and a new life. He doesn’t call us to be perfect. Instead, He calls us to follow Him faithfully and help others to know Him. If we are doing this, we know we are doing the right thing. Never does God tell us we have to be perfect in order to follow Him. He knows that we have a sin nature and we cannot be perfect in everything we do.
Oftentimes, we think we have to be perfect in order to be worthy of love. However, God loves us just as we are. The Bible tells us, “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8). As Paul tells us in this passage of Romans, God loved us even before we came to know His Son. While we were still actively living in sin, God loved us. Take this to heart and remember it when you are feeling weary.
From all of this, we can see that God loves us as we are. We don’t have to strive after His love. He loves us unconditionally. With this in mind, I challenge you to toss out perfectionism this year. Try it and see if it brings your life more freedom, happiness, and joy. You have spent enough time of your life worrying and stressing over doing things just right. In Christ, your best is more than enough for this New Year, as well as for all the years to come.
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