When You Don't "Feel" the Christmas Spirit

Vivian Bricker

Many of us find it hard to “feel” the Christmas spirit. There are a variety of reasons that we don’t feel this holly, jolly burst of glee. A few of these reasons can include depression, anxiety, or stress. Each of these feelings can be so strong that it prevents us from feeling the Christmas spirit. If you don’t feel the Christmas spirit, don’t believe for a second that there is anything wrong with you or that you are a bad person. 

Not Feeling Christmas

If you are reading this article, most likely you’re in the same boat as I am—you’re not feeling the Christmas spirit. You may feel as though there is something wrong with you, but there isn’t. Maybe this is your first year where you don’t feel the Christmas spirit, and you think something inside you is broken. I want to stress the importance to you that it is perfectly okay and normal to not feel the Christmas spirit. Similar to you, I don’t feel the Christmas spirit, and honestly, I haven’t for nearly seven years.

Losses, grief, and pain cause us to change as human beings. When we see death and pain, it can change our perspective on life. When my mom passed away in 2016, when I was only a teenager, my whole life changed. I was once an outgoing, bubbly human being, yet after my mom died, I became more reclusive, depressed, and I wanted to be left alone. Maybe you have experienced loss, pain, or trauma that has caused you not to feel the Christmas spirit too. If this is true for yourself, there is no reason to feel ashamed or to feel as though there is something wrong with you. You have simply gone through difficult times, and it has impacted you in a deep way.

You Are Not Alone

My friend from college also has a difficult time getting into the Christmas spirit since her fiancé passed away the day after Christmas many years ago in a car accident. Ever since the year of her fiancé’s death, she has never seen Christmas in the same way because she associates it with the death of the one she loved. Maybe you can relate to my friend too, or maybe there is another pain that causes you to not feel the Christmas spirit. Many individuals will make us feel bad for not getting into the Christmas spirit, but there is absolutely nothing wrong with not feeling the Christmas spirit.

The Bible never tells us that we have to feel the Christmas spirit in order to celebrate the anniversary of our Lord’s birth. The Christmas account as recorded in the Bible tells us about the Savior of the Lord being born into the world to redeem us from our sins (Luke 2:1-20). Jesus humbled Himself to take on the form of a human to save us and repair our relationship with the Father (Philippians 2:1-11). Through Jesus’ birth into the world, He was able to grow up into a man, live a life free of sin, die on the cross for our sins, and be raised from the dead. From this truth, we know the Christmas holiday is about celebrating the anniversary of the long-awaited Messiah’s birth. 

God doesn’t think badly of us, nor does He think less of us when we don’t feel the “Christmas spirit.” If we don’t feel like putting up a tree, decorating, or doing Christmas activities, this is perfectly fine. Most of what has been tied together with Christmas are things related to the Christmas culture rather than finding their roots in the Bible. All that we need to celebrate Christmas is a heart and mind focused on the Lord. Jesus Christ is the true reason for the season—not all of the materialism and consumerism that has been pushed upon us. 

The events and things to do surrounding the Christmas season can make most of us overwhelmed, which in turn can cause us to lose any sort of joy surrounding the holiday. Maybe you didn’t have a tragic loss, pain, or trauma, but just the Christmas season alone is enough to cause you not to feel the Christmas spirit. It is normal to have holiday burnout, especially if you are the one in charge of all of the events and activities. Even if you’re not in charge of all the events and activities, you can feel overwhelmed simply having to go and attend all of these functions. This, in turn, can cause anyone to not feel the Christmas spirit. 

The True Meaning of Christmas—Despite Feelings

As previously mentioned, Christmas is about the birth of Jesus Christ in the world. It is not about materialism, consumerism, or the Christmas culture. Often, if we grow up in homes that don’t share the true story of Christmas, we grow up with false information surrounding the Christmas holiday. Personally, I was never taught the true Christmas story growing up. Instead, I was taught about Christmas culture with the belief in Santa Claus, the emphasis on gifts, and the strong need that everyone should feel the Christmas spirit. If you grow up in an atmosphere such as this, it is easy to feel guilty when you don’t feel the Christmas spirit. 

Growing up in this type of atmosphere and with this mentality can lead an individual to never fully know the true meaning of Christmas unless they come to know Christ in a different way. Christmas is actually a perfect chance to share the message of the gospel with family and friends. This important holiday is one of the best times to share the gospel and the true meaning of Christmas. Instead of feeling guilty for not feeling the Christmas spirit, accept it as being normal and know that there is nothing wrong with you. 

You are not a “grinch” or a “scrooge” for not feeling the Christmas spirit. The only thing that matters is that your heart and mind are focused on the Lord. If you are celebrating the true meaning of Christmas by praising God in your heart, then you are doing right. Even if others try to guilt trip you into feeling bad about not being in the Christmas spirit, don’t let it get you down. Instead, use it as a time to keep growing in your relationship with Christ. Through not feeling the Christmas spirit, you will be more attuned to focusing on the true meaning of Christmas—the birth of Jesus. Instead of being focused on the Christmas culture, materialism, and consumerism, you will be able to focus on the Lord. 

Use this time to focus on Jesus and to rest in His presence. When I first started losing the feeling of the Christmas spirit all those years ago, I was able to better reflect on the true meaning of Christmas and align my heart and mind with Christ. If you’re not feeling the Christmas spirit this year, don’t feel guilty about it, and don’t feel as though there is something wrong with you. At times, almost everyone has not felt the Christmas spirit at least once. For some people, the feeling may return the next year, but for others, it may never return, and that’s okay. Nobody should demonize the idea of not feeling the Christmas spirit. Even if we don’t feel the Christmas spirit associated with the Christmas culture, we always have the Holy Spirit inside of us, pointing us to Christ and the true meaning of Christmas. 

Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/globalmoments



Vivian Bricker loves Jesus, studying the Word of God, and helping others in their walk with Christ. She has earned a Bachelor of Arts and Master's degree in Christian Ministry with a deep academic emphasis in theology. Her favorite things to do are spending time with her family and friends, reading, and spending time outside. When she is not writing, she is embarking on other adventures.

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