Let’s be honest, communication is a hard skill to master.
Add conflict into the mix and communication becomes all the more difficult. Still, as Christians we are called to express love for one another. In the face of conflict, we should have two goals in mind: reconciliation and forgiveness. Only then can we resolve conflict. And only then will we be showing love to others as the Son of God does for us.
“For if you forgive others their offenses, your heavenly Father will forgive you as well. But if you don’t forgive others, your Father will not forgive your offenses.” (Matthew 6:14-15)
Parents are most comfortable disciplining their children when their kids are still young, impressionable, and growing up in an unfamiliar world. As children get older, a shift starts to occur and relationship dynamics change. As kids mature into adults they desire more independence. They rely on their parents for less and less.
This means that when conflict occurs, adult children are not as quick to change their behavior to what the parent wants. Despite the dynamic change, conflict resolution is always possible.
If you are seeking guidance in your parent-child relationship, here is a prayer for resolving conflict with your adult children.
Photo Credit: © Getty Images/fizkes
“Be angry and do not sin; reflect in your heart while on your bed and be silent.” (Psalm 4:4)
Dear Heavenly Father,
First, I want to say thank you for my children. Thank you for being present in their lives while they were still in the womb. From there you brought them into the world and have blessed them with a life that has brought them into adulthood.
Lord, my relationship with my children is different now that they are adults.
When they were young, I could guide them to change their behavior and attitude, or face certain consequences. I can’t discipline my adult children in the same way, and I know that I shouldn’t.
Please remind me that, as adults, we all have different ideas of how things should be.
I also pray that despite these differences between us, my children would strive to love and overcome conflict whenever possible. And I know you make that possible.
I pray, God, that my children continue to honor me as their parent, and that I can honor them as my adult child.
Thank you for hearing my prayer. Thank you that you have provided us with the perfect model of love, your son Jesus Christ.
May my children and I aspire to be more like Jesus in our interactions with each other.
Amen.
“Pleasant words are a honeycomb: sweet to the taste and health to the body.” (Proverbs 16:24)
God,
Please hear the cry of my prayer. I am struggling in my relationship with my children. Our relationship at times has become so fractured that we do not talk to each other, not because we cannot, but because we choose not to.
God, we are not practicing healthy communication, nor are we showing each other love.
I don’t know what to do. Sometimes I am so consumed with anger and hurt, that I don’t see the point in reconciliation.
From my perspective, God, I’m the parent, they are the child, therefore I am right. This isn’t true, and I know that, but what I know sometimes contradicts with how I feel.
Lord, I need you. Please don’t pass me by. Can you show me how to properly treat my children with love, care, and respect? Can you show me how to be a better role-model for them?
Likewise, God, I ask that where I fail to be the ideal role-model, please strengthen them to role-model better behaviors for me too. Please show them how to better communicate and not be consumed with their own emotions.
Through you, healing is possible. Though some damage has been done, though scars have been inflicted, I know that you can heal us. Going forward we can forge a better relationship than we had in the past.
Thank you for your love, God. And thank you for the love present in this family.
Amen.
“The second is, Love your neighbor as yourself. There is no other command greater than these.” (Mark 12:31)
The Word helps us to understand God’s expectations of how we should treat one another. When we think about the idea of loving others as we love ourselves, in order to fully understand the commandment, we first have to be aware of how we practice self-love.
When was the last time you really considered the things you enjoy and the things you don’t? What do you wish people would tell you and what do you wish you never heard at all?
Knowing ourselves should also include awareness of how we want people to treat us when conflict occurs. And with people being sinners, conflict will always occur.
With this in mind, we have to be mindful of how we respond to conflict. No matter how angry we become, Scripture encourages us not to sin just because of how we feel.
The emotions are legitimate, but so is our biblical response to those who offend us, especially our children and parents.
Imagine a reality where we sinned against God and he said that no matter what, he would never forgive us. Such a feeling would be crushing to the spirit.
Why bother to make amends knowing that he will never forgive us no matter what we do? Imagine raising a kid who thought that no matter what they did, their parents would never love them.
At some point the child will stop trying. And the parent-child relationship will never reach a loving place.
Thankfully God is not like this with us, and neither should we be with others. Let’s follow the role-model he set before us through his son, Jesus Christ.
Remember, the goal is to reconcile and forgive. If we can achieve that, then we are sharing God-given love with someone else.
Photo Credit: © Getty Images
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