My mother used to make pancakes in the shape of letters, spelling out our names, on Saturday mornings. She made us wear matching dresses (that she actually sewed) for nearly every holiday until we were at least ten years old. If there was a celebration, she was the one to host because she had all the fun ideas and games. My mom had a special way of making my sister and I (along with others) feel cherished, adored, and valued.
I must say that we hit the jackpot when it comes to mothers. She was the best. She made motherhood look easy and effortless, so much so, that when I become a mom, I quickly realized how much I needed her love, support, and encouragement to guide me. She graciously and humbly offered her wisdom time and time again. The last bit of wisdom she offered me was after venting about how hard it was to raise three daughters of vastly different ages. She took my hand and told me that while it was a rough season, it would pass.
Unfortunately, I’ve entered a new season. A season without her. And it will never pass, as I will remain motherless for the rest of this life.
Sweet friend, if you find yourself in the same season, I am so, so sorry. My heart aches with yours. I wish I had the right words to make it all better. I wish I could take your hand and hear your story. Her story. I wish we could cry without restraint, offer healing hugs, and maybe even scream a little until the numbness subsided.
But, while I can’t make it better, I believe with my whole heart that our God can. Psalm 34:18 tells us that the Lord is near to the brokenhearted and crushed in spirit. It may feel as if you are crushed in spirit right now. I deeply understand that. But the silver lining is that this isn’t our forever home. And as believers, we have hope. Hope's name is Jesus.
As you navigate this new season (I won’t call it a “new normal” because it feels anything but normal) I invite you to step away from the distractions. Get quiet. Fall into His arms and lean in.
Here is my prayer for you sweet daughter.
Precious Father,
Thank you for being our source of comfort. You are such a good, good Father. We are grateful for your compassion on us and welcome your peace.
As I lift up the mother that is now navigating this journey without her own mother, I ask that you bring forth that sense of peace. I invite you to dwell in her heart and let her feel Your precious presence. Help her regain strength to get up each day to face a world that has seemed to be turned upside down.
Lord, while she now enters this season without her mother, I ask that you lead and guide her. That You restore that piece of her heart that is missing with Your infinite love. On the hard days, bestow grace and have mercy on her.
Give this precious daughter that may be holding on to regret or guilt the ability to hand it all over to You. Allow her to let go of any shame and forgive herself or others, while giving her permission to stop the constant replay of events that consume her mind and tug at her heart. Help her see the joy her mother brought in her life and hold on tightly to those memories. If, for whatever reason, she just can’t recall a specific memory or the exact sound of her sweet momma’s voice, bless her by leaning in a little closer, Lord.
When the bitter root of anger wants to bubble up and fester like a wound that will not heal, I pray she seeks You, oh God. Lead her back to Your promises, and etch them in her heart. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 tells us to praise You as You are the Father of compassion and comfort. When this precious daughter wants to cry out in anger, help her eventually find a way to fall to her knees. As we know Jesus commands us to cast all our burdens onto Him as His yoke is easy and His burden is light (Matthew 11:28-30). In this, we know Jesus will carry her through this time of grief and allow her rest. Father, please offer this sweet daughter spiritual rest that will refuel her heart.
Lord, I also ask that You bring forth a community of loving “sisters.” When she needs a warm hug, a gentle word of encouragement, or someone to just listen, I ask that You provide a friend or group of women to lift her up. May they offer her the physical comfort and support that allows her to keep putting one foot in front of the other. We know nothing will replace the love of her own mother, but we ask that You open up this sweet momma’s heart to be receptive to those that want to love on her.
As holidays and events come and go with an empty seat at the table and the loss of the presence of her beloved mother, it is inevitable that she will be met with deep sorrow. I pray You put a boundary around her heart that will allow her to feel the grief but also welcome Your presence. Bring forth a penetrating warmth that washes over her soul, giving her an unexplained peace and comfort. We ask that she is consumed by the weight of Your love that will carry her through those difficult moments.
When the “what if’s” and “could of’s” begin to swirl around in her mind, please bless her, Lord, with calm reassurance. Help her see that while time is never enough for us on this side of heaven, Your timing is still indeed perfect. We are not meant to understand Your will or Your way but merely trust. So, give this sweet daughter of Yours the ability to trust You wholeheartedly.
God, please put others in this sweet daughter’s path so she can share her heart and her mother’s story with others. Allow her to share her mother’s legacy in a way that brings You the glory and honor, and let it bring comfort and offer healing to both her and the recipient.
On the days that motherhood is extremely difficult, and she desperately needs to be comforted by her own mother, we ask You to step in and give her patience with her family and herself. Give her moments to pull away from the demands and find refreshment for her heart, mind, and soul by spending time alone with You, Father.
God, there will be days she is taken aback by grief, blindsided by it, or even overcome with emotions she won’t necessarily understand. On those days, will You walk before her, beside her, and equip her to fight the lies that may try to target her weary heart. Replace it with wisdom to combat the deceiver and help her stand firm in her faith. Reminder her that with You she is never alone.
Psalm 56:8 tells us that You keep track of all our sorrows. You have collected our tears in a bottle and recorded each one in your book.
So, we delight in Your love for us. We thank you for being such a compassionate and gentle Father. We are honored that you choose us to be Your daughter and You care for us so deeply. We ask that You forever hold us, Your precious daughters, in Your mighty, strong, and gentle arms.
It’s in Your holy and precious name I pray,
Amen.
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