I am a mom of three daughters who play sports—softball, to be exact. We’ve been at this gig for quite some time... since my oldest two (who are now in high school) were six and eight, to be exact. And, it’s been a long and bumpy road ever since.
In all transparency, I was never good at sports, at any sport for that matter. I was always picked last in those silly elementary school games, which usually came along with loud disapproving groans and snickering jabs that made matters worse. I wasn’t particularly fond of gym class; junior high is so awkward anyway, right? Then in college, I unwillingly took softball as an elective and learned real quick after a ball gave me a rather large black and blue bruise on my shin that I was not a sporty girl. Truthfully, I was okay with that.
Obviously, my daughters did not get any of their softball abilities from me. However, my hubby, on the other hand, lived and breathed every sport, baseball being his absolute favorite. From the stories told by family and friends, he was pretty good.
So, after a few years of dance, which proved unsuccessful for our daughters, my sweet hubby jumped at the chance to whisk them away to a sporting goods store to try on a softball glove and helmet and test out a few bats. This was his wheelhouse and oh, my, did he ever run with it!
As my hubby’s sidekick, but one who isn’t too sporty, I often just sit in the bleachers and watch. I watch them win, lose, sit, or sulk. I watch them rev up their team or sit alone. I watch them fall into comparison and question their gift. I watch them get hurt, rub some dirt on it, and keep playing. I watch it all—the good, the bad, and the ugly.
But here's the thing about being a sports mom. It isn’t for the faint of heart. It’s heartwarming and heartbreaking all at the same time. We will celebrate with the team over victories only to wade through endless tears in the car over bad plays on the way home. We’ll go to tournaments miles away only to sit in the rain or wait for umpires to disagree relentlessly over a call. We look like we have a softball warehouse in our garage, and most of the arguments in our home typically revolve around softball cleats or if a uniform is clean.
Truthfully, I am tired many days, but I’m also nearing the homestretch, which brings on a wide range of emotions. I have learned so much on this journey and thought I would share it with you. So, from one mom to another, here are my takeaways and honest confessions of what it has been like to be a sports mom:
Oh, my goodness. This is the first point for a reason! When my two oldest daughters first started playing softball, I was on my own trying to get them to and from practice as my husband was working late. Now, mind you, I was also pregnant with our third daughter and so I was already super exhausted. The worst was when practice times intermingled and I had to take them (and pick them up) at the same time in two different locations. Grr.
Keep in mind that practice times vary, but they are at least two days a week, possibly at various locations, for one to three hours. That doesn’t even count game days that usually consume the entire weekend. Yes, it may only be an hour-long game, but I’ve learned to be prepared to stay after and watch other games or head out to lunch with the team afterward.
Sports momma tip: Get to know the other moms so you can lean on one another for support. Also, get crafty with dinner, as you may have to take it on the go.
The laundry room smells like the stench of rotten eggs. Seriously! Those clothes not only reek but the shoes—phew! Also, be aware that they will track that mucky field dirt and mud all through your house if you don’t set the precedent now!
Not only that, but their sports/gear bags sometimes have leftover snacks or drinks that don’t always get cleaned out. One time we found maggots in the bottom of our daughter's bag due to smashed-up food with cheese at the bottom. Let’s just say I didn’t eat concession stand nachos for a long time after that!
Sports momma tip: Keep everything in the garage and have them remove their shoes outside before they come in to keep most of the dirt (and maggots) outside of your home. It will help a little with all the smells that come with playing sports, too. Also, wash out their bags at the end of each season with a hose and let them dry in the sun. (You’re welcome!)
While I don’t completely understand all the rules and regulations of the games because they change between divisions and leagues, what I can say is that there are parents who do know. They know very well actually, and they like to make their voices known. Just know that many parents are living their best lives through their kiddos. My husband included.
That said, sometimes parents can get a little over the top and become a tad bit unruly. It happens! You will see it and hear it! They may scream obscenities or declare for a call to be overturned. They seek righteousness, mostly for their kid, but for their kid’s team as well. After all, they are passionate parents. Just sometimes a little too passionate.
Sports momma tip: Be cautious not to get sucked into the “drama” that comes with youth sports. Every parent wants their kid to have fun, to get play time, to experience the “good,” and for the games to be fair. But when it isn’t, we must remain humble and show our kids how to do the same.
As one mom put it—youth sports are all feast or famine. I didn’t really understand what she meant by that, at least not at first. Yet, after being a sports mom for over ten years, I get how, sadly, politics has ruined youth sporting events over time.
Before we sign our kids up for a sport, we don’t think, “What could go wrong here?” We simply think it will be fun! And that is what it should be. However, you will more than likely, on top of the passionate parents mentioned earlier, encounter bad coaches, see favoritism, and face controversial policies, such as transgender laws that can make games unfair and even unsafe.
Sports momma tip: Try to keep tabs on the demeanor of your kid and talk about things that may upset them. While kids are pretty resilient, it’s also okay to back away, take a break from a sport, or try something new.
This is such a hard lesson for our children (and us) to learn. Is there really anything more heartbreaking than watching your kid sit on the bench, game after game, after game? I get that playing time is important, especially if you paid a fee to “play” a sport.
But, can I share an honest and harsh truth? Your child will learn a valuable lesson from those sidelines. I assure you of that. It may be brutal to watch. But, the bottom line is that sometimes this life isn’t fair. Sometimes we don’t get picked. Sometimes our best friend who didn’t work as hard gets the MVP. Sometimes we need to try something new. Sometimes we need a harsh reality check and to realize playing a sport isn’t just about us. Playing a sport is about working together as a team. And that is a valuable lesson in and of itself.
Sports momma tip: Sports has so many great life lessons tucked within it, so use this time to cover your little athlete in prayer and ask God to do a work in their heart. And always remember, you are their greatest fan!
Photo Credit: ©Rachel Barkdoll/Unsplash