Motherhood isn’t about “surviving” and seeking approval and praise that may or may not come from the ones you love, but rather, is found by seeking what God has to say about you, His beloved daughter.
Last night, after I had cooked dinner and cleaned the kitchen, I found myself loudly stomping out to the side of the garage to snatch up the garbage cans and haul them out to the street. This was my teen’s job, yet she had one excuse or another, so it finally led me to grab my slip-on shoes and head outside. Not only did I already feel completely underappreciated, but I was exhausted from working all day and just wanted to rest for a bit and decompress. But that wasn’t happening, at least not in the short term. I still had so much to do, and I knew it.
As I grumbled a few choice words under my breath and lugged those cans to the edge of our driveway, my bad attitude caused me to slip on the wet grass and fall (very ungracefully, might I add) into the water meter! Which, if you are unfamiliar, down here in the south, they are the black boxes that generally produce very foul odors and hold humungous bugs! To make matters even worse, this nice car drives up close and then stops! Talk about humiliating. Yet, this gentle voice extended an offer to help me and see if I was alright! I politely and jokingly insinuate that this was my kid’s job and dismiss her kind gesture as I brush myself off and swallow my pride. At that point, I figured this woman would just drive off, probably rolling her eyes at my conundrum, but instead, she simply added, “You’re doing a good job, momma!” Then she smiled with understanding sincerity and slowly drove away.
I had no idea how much I needed to hear that, even from a complete stranger. And, I must admit, those simple, kind remarks gave me just enough energy to finish up my evening of putting my little one to bed and squeezing in a bit of much-needed down time.
Maybe you need that reminder too? Despite feeling completely invisible, questioning if what you do even matters, to all the work that goes into behind-the-scenes moments that often go unrecognized, maybe you just need someone to say, “You are doing a good job!” So, with a nod of understanding and a smile of sincerity, let me just say, “You, sweet momma, are doing a good job!”
We All Desire Recognition
Sometimes we just need to hear those words, you know? To know that someone (anyone) sees all the effort we put in and the massive amount of heart we pour out. This mom-life isn’t easy. We give and give (and give some more) only to feel as if it isn’t enough and rarely receive so much as a simple, “Thank you.”
Unfortunately, the reality is that the absence of any form of appreciation (no matter what role we are in) can lead us to believe some pretty destructive lies. However, as moms, these lies reach our hearts in unfathomable ways. This is where we begin to believe we are not enough, that we are failing, or even the worst lie of all, that our children would be better off with… you can fill in the blank here, but you see where I am going with this. The enemy sure knows where to attack us as moms, and I must say, it’s time we stand up to his malicious schemes!
The truth is, we all want to feel that our work matters, especially when it comes to our ministry as mommas! God created us this way (Colossians 3:23-24). So, sweet momma friend, whether you need a hug, an understanding smile, or a simple, sincere sentiment that lets you know you are seen, let’s fill your cup back up with absolute truth and the hope you really need. Motherhood isn’t about “surviving” and seeking approval and praise that may or may not come from the ones you love, but rather, is found by seeking what God has to say about you, His beloved daughter. The precious daughter He so graciously allowed to become a mother to those sweet little blessings (Psalm 127:3)! He sees that you are tired, overstretched, and weary. He knows what it is like to be a parent! But He is inviting you to come to Him for rest and, yes, even the recognition you deeply desire.
What God Wants from You as a Mom
We all want to be good moms, especially when it comes to raising our little people up to love and fear the Lord. But have you noticed how we usually tend to overcomplicate this role? Maybe it is because we hold this unrealistic vision that captures a bit of the flawless Proverbs 31 woman and a dreamy image that encompasses flowy dresses, spotless houses, well-behaved children, a blissful marriage, and endless time where we dig into God’s Word as a family in peaceful harmony. Sigh. Sounds lovely, doesn’t it?
Well, let me be blunt for just a moment. Thanks to social media, and this “essence of perfection,” even as faithful mommas, we are slowly beginning to lose sight of the realities of this role, and what God truly wants from us. Sure, we all want to bond with our babies, create precious moments with our kids, and have unbreakable connections with our teens. But the reality is that sweatpants exist for a reason, muddy floors are very likely (especially if you have boys), children bicker, marriage can hurt, and those good intentions to read the Bible as a family sometimes come with discord and anything but harmony. Life is messy!
So, that said, when we gravitate to these unrealistic visions we conjure up in our minds (or see on socials), and it all falls flat, we grow frustrated and eventually feel underappreciated for “trying” so hard. Then in time, we may even feel like giving up because the lies (a.k.a. - the liar) tell us we aren’t enough and that we have failed. However, the twisted truth is we are essentially making motherhood more complicated than it has to be as we clumsily reach for nothing more than an illusion!
Sweet momma friend, God isn’t expecting you to be perfect! And He isn’t expecting you to raise perfect children either. However, He does want you to come to Him not only in messy, brutal, and hard times, which should essentially bring you to your knees, but also in powerful times, when He moves in unforeseen ways, prompting you to give Him thanks and praise as you lift your hands!
The truth is God needs our humble adoration and humility as moms. He wants our gratitude and hearts through each and every season. When we come before Him with our beautiful mess of a life, we discover that He has always been with us (Isaiah 41:10). That He has equipped us for this role as moms and gives each of us just what we need to succeed (2 Peter 1:3). We learn that His grace is unending, and He is enough (2 Corinthians 12:9).
As moms, our greatest comforter (Matthew 5:4), provider (Philippians 4:19), refuge in times of trouble (Psalm 46:1), and love, mercy, and grace overflow from a God who covers us when we feel inadequate, strive for an unrealistic version of ourselves, and desire to be seen, valued, and appreciated.
Sister, when you find that you need a little recognition, reach for the encouragement your soul desperately needs by digging into the love letters your Father offers you in His Word! Then praise Him for all that He has done and continues to do so you can see motherhood in a whole new light! When we embrace these precious truths, the best part is we are showing our children that we aren’t enough, we will fail, and even our motherly love will never fully be sufficient. We may be doing our best, but we are imperfectly leading our children to a perfect God who is always enough, will never fail them, and is always there for them! That is worth rejoicing in and recognizing, that we serve an amazing God who loves us and our children more than we can even imagine!
A Prayer for Your Momma Heart
God, I am so thankful that You are a God who is omnipresent and omniscient. You see all things, know all things, and are a powerful force I want to freely move in my life. Your will and Your way, God. I want that more than anything, but rather than seeking Your truth that proclaims my identity and value as a mom, I often seek recognition from my family and friends. Deep down, I want nothing more than to be a good mom and for my kids to know I am trying. So, I ask that You step in when my heart craves that need for appreciation or a little recognition and flood my heart with the comfort of Your unfailing love. A love that sees me, knows me, and amid my many faults, still chooses me (and my sweet children) to be Yours. For that, I am ever so grateful to God. You are so very good to me and I love You with all my heart. Amen.
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